Isn’t the very definition of being a Callahan about doing whatever the fuck you want when you want without a goddamn care? Monk’s words came to mind.
Yeah, it might just be.
“Can you go, so I can get dressed now?” she asked me.
I nodded, moving to her door. “But if I were you, I would be mindful of how you dress from now on.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you let out the monster, Helen. Which means your clothes will end up on the floor at some point. Don’t make it harder on either of us.” I unlocked the door, and not wanting to tempt myself further, I walked out and closed the door gently behind me. I made it down the hall to my room as if nothing had happened.
It was only when I got through my doors and they shut behind me that I exhaled the breath I was holding.
“I’m going to bloody hell,” I muttered, pulling my tie off my neck. My skin was on fire, my clothes smelled like her…like roses.
In less than a second, she’d gone from my cousin to…to a woman. My woman. And the things I did to the women of my past…I was excited to do to her, and so much more.
Hell? I’m going to be Satan’s footstool. “Mother fuck.” Looking down at my cock, I shook my head.
This was dangerous.
This was terrible.
This was apparently exactly what I wanted.
HELEN
The moment he left, I calmly walked over to my bed and just threw myself on it. I am a strong, confident, intelligent, sexy, cute, and beautiful woman…and yet every time I was near him, I lost myself. I lost my edge. I was just…weak. It wasn’t my fault! Who could withstand him? He was always shifting the ground under my feet the moment I thought I could stand on my own.
When I told myself, I’d love him in secret and pull myself away.
He came and found me and drew me back in.
When I confessed.
He ran.
When I decided to give up on him.
He comes back and kisses me.
“He never plays fair,” I whispered to myself, reaching up to touch my lips.
We kissed.
For the second time.
No. The third time.
He kissed me.
I froze.
Then I kissed him back. Well, that makes it two and a half? It didn’t matter! What mattered was…I knew he was going to hurt me. I had no idea what was going through his mind. If he was just doing this out of pity, or lust, or both. But he didn’t love me…at least not the way I wanted him to.
I want him anyway. No matter what I thought, no matter what his reasons were, couldn’t I be selfish, too? Couldn’t I just indulge in this? I’d dreamt about it for so long.
If that makes us bad, fuck it. We do bad things daily. He was right. Ethan, Dona…him. They all did whatever they liked and dealt with the consequences later.
I’m going to do this. I sat up on my bed, shifting to sit against my headboard. I wasn’t going to expect anything. I wasn’t going to delude myself into thinking that this was something…more. I was just going to have fun…be bad…for as long as he was willing to be bad with me.
Reaching over to the bedside table, I grabbed my cell phone to see whatever Darcy had wanted…except he didn’t want anything.
Wyatt asked Dad and me to check out a lead about Ivy in Dallas while he deals with things here in Chicago. We’ll only be gone a few days. Luv you. – Darc
“A lead? What lead?”
I hadn’t heard anything, and Wyatt hadn’t said anything—not that we were focused on that at the moment.
But why him and Dad? I instantly felt the goosebumps all up and down my arms. He sent them away. Before he came to see me, he made up some bullshit lead to send my brother and father away.
He’s serious. When he came to me, he already knew what he was going to do.
“Sly, charming, smooth-talking son of bitch,” I muttered, shaking my head. How many women had fallen for him because of that mouth of his?
Fine. If he was willing to do this with me, he needed to know I wouldn’t let him control me. I wasn’t going to be like the others.
No matter who he dealt with in the past, there was no other woman like Helen Badass Callahan.
He rocked my world, threw me off my axis.
Tomorrow I’d do the same damn thing.
It was the polite thing to do, right?
I let the monster out? No. The moment he kissed me, he did...he just didn’t know it. Yet.
FIFTEEN
“When I'm good, I'm very good,
but when I'm bad, I'm better.”
~ Mae West
HELEN
“Aren’t you a little bit old to be hunting down gangsters, Dad?” I asked, lifting my heels out of the display case before taking a seat on my Sherwood sheepskin settee.
“These old jokes are getting old,” he muttered, and I could hear Darcy laugh in the background. “And to answer your question, dear young daughter, I am the right age to be hunting gangsters…aren’t you too young to be going around calling people gangsters. You sound very lame, Helen.”
Darcy must have busted his gut because the laughter got louder.
“Darcy, shut up! And, Dad, don’t call me lame!”
“Don’t call me old.”
I rolled my eyes even though I couldn’t help but smile, too. “That’s a little immature.”
“Just as you enjoy teasing your brother, I enjoy teasing the both of you. So if I’m immature, so be it, the joy is worth it.”
“Enjoy your gangster, Dad. Love you! Bye!”
“Love you too, Chipmunk —”
“What did I say about the nicknames?”
“You said not to call you Gummy Bear. So I didn’t.”
“I meant—”
“Sorry, Chipmunk, losing signal, love you,” he said before hanging up on me.
Glaring at no one in particular, I took out my earpiece, setting it down
