He was right. We all had our roles, and I was never interested in mine.
“Ethan…”
“You cremated my wife.” His voice dropped to a whisper again. “You drugged me and destroyed my wife’s body…Toby betrayed us, and even his body was treated with more respect. You panicked and just wanted the problem to go away. You didn’t want to deal with it. Just like you didn’t want to deal with Mom’s death, Father’s death…or any other issue in your life. You run. You always try to run…so you thought I would act like you. You didn’t want to deal with it, and so with no regard to anyone but yourself, you put her on cold slab and turned her to ash.” He laughed bitterly. “Oh…don’t worry, I’ll take blame for that one…I’ve always spoken about the family image. Of course you’d logically think it was better to spread a lie than let people believe I screwed up. Good job telling Greyson…everyone will know your version of events soon enough. Have I patted you on the head enough now? Will you get the fuck out of my face now, Wyatt?”
“I’ll stand beside you and find whoever—”
“Don’t care,” he said, and of all the things he’d said today, that was the most shocking.
“You’re not just going to let this—”
“Did you really think the two of us were just going to go off revenge hunting?” he asked, putting the gun down beside him and getting up off the floor. He reached for one of the shopping bags and took out the small one. “Why would I do that? Killing them isn’t going to bring her back, is it?”
He took out the diamond-studded watch and placed it in the watch display before picking up another box.
No. This wasn’t him. “Ethan, don’t you want to know who did this? Who dared to—”
“Why would I want to know that?” He glanced up from the box of shoes, walking over to me. “It will only serve to make me more upset. Either a nobody, someone not even worthy of whipping my ass, murdered my wife, got the better of me. Or I was so blind that I missed a threat large enough to endanger the people I cared about…making me an idiot. I dislike both options. So I don’t want to know, and you can show yourself out,” he stated, placing the beige heels on the shelf beside me.
“You have to make them pay—”
“You have no right to tell me what the fuck I have to do. You do what you think you should fucking do. Nothing has stopped you before. Now get the fuck out before I truly do murder you. The only reason you are alive isn’t because you’re my brother. It’s because I have invested twenty-six of twenty-eight years of my life watching out for you, sacrificing for you…and refuse to let all of my effort end up being ironically worth nothing. That is the good reason, that is the only reason, stopping me from breaking my promise to Father.”
I stood there for a moment before nodding, backing out. “I’m sorry—”
“You know what Father said about apologies.”
Accept them and then shove it back up their asses.
I walked out of his room like I had some out-of-body experience my mind hadn’t fully grasped yet. He was the one who had lost his wife, and I could see and hear his anger. But because I was, as he said, selfish, I couldn’t grasp how badly he was hurting over how gutted I currently felt.
“Wyatt?”
Blinking a few times, I saw Helen standing right across from me, her brown face bunched together as she tried to figure out what was happening…what had happened.
“Are you alrig—,” she paused mid-word, mid-step, when I lifted my hand, telling her not to come any closer. Her gaze widened when she looked at my hand. I didn’t know why until I looked and saw my own hand trembling.
“I’m fine.” I cut her off before she could even finish opening her mouth. “I wouldn’t recommend going to see him now, though. He’s a little…”
I didn’t finish. Instead, I offered her a forced smiled before walking back to my room. With each step, it felt like my mind was trying to split apart. My ears rang, and my vision blurred. When I made it into my bathroom, I turned on the faucet as fast as I could, just to splash the cold water on my face.
I stood there for a moment before looking to my own reflection. Water dripping from my nose, hunched over the sink, staring into my own brown eyes. The more I stared, the more annoyed I became.
“How much longer are you going to be such a little bitch?” The words came from my mouth, but all I could hear was my father’s voice.
Just like I’d done when I was sixteen, I balled my fist and swung forward, the glass fracturing under my fist. When I pulled back, blood coated the broken pieces and my hands. Inhaling through my nose, I squeezed my blood-covered fist, feeling the small shards of mirror cut and dig into my skin, before exhaling and rolling my neck out.
Reaching up, blood still covering my hand, I pulled down my tie. Again, I met my eyes in the mirror.
Enough of this. Forget this. Focus, Wyatt. Focus.
I cannot change the past.
I cannot know the future.
Right now, all I can do is work on this present moment.
What do I want in this present moment?
“Revenge,” I said softly at first and then once again more clearly, my eyes unshaken and undeterred, and determined. I felt it rise, my anger, my rage, my desire, everything was awake now. My mind was finally clear. I knew what I wanted. If Ethan wasn’t going to do it, I was. Ethan is not your concern. Ethan will take care of Ethan. Now, what do you
