I caught her eyes as she left.
I remembered those eyes.
Green or brown…I remembered those eyes because they were so familiar to my own.
I wished I had the strength to ask where she was then.
When she was gone, I stared over at them, my boys. Liam said nothing. He didn’t weep. He didn’t lose himself in rage. It was like he and Melody had switched personalities. Instead, he put his hand on his son’s head and whispered something into his ear before turning and leaving too.
The last words I heard from him this time were, “This isn’t over, Mom. They will pay for this. The world will pay.”
That was the problem.
Everyone had to pay with their children.
TWENTY-ONE
“Love is breathing in each other with all madness.”
~ Seema Gupta
HELEN
It hurt.
Everything hurt.
Like the world was trying to crush me to pieces.
“Helen?”
Mom?
“Helen, sweetheart can you hear me?”
Dad?
“Come on, sis.”
Darcy?
Why was everyone here? No, not everyone…Wyatt. Where was Wyatt’s voice?... Why…do…they…always…gotta…gotta ruin my day. I heard them, but not the one voice I wanted to hear. No. Please no. It was nightmare. Panic flooded me as I remembered the blood…the bullets.
He went down!
He went down!
BEEP!
BEEP!
BEEP!
BEEP!
“Helen! Helen, calm down!” my dad yelled at me, but I didn’t understand. Where was Wyatt? “Sweetheart, please!”
It hurt!
Opening my eyes, the lights were so bright they were blinding. I coughed and struggled against the tube in my mouth.
“Helen, hold on…”
Mom…
“She’s choking. Get it out of her!”
Dad…
Where’s Wyatt?
“…whe…” I coughed. My throat felt like sandpaper and tree bark, but I needed to speak. As I opened my eyes, they wandered all over until finally the blurs became steady, and I could see them. Mom and Darcy were on one side, and my dad on the other. They looked…like they hadn’t slept or changed in weeks.
“Sweetheart!” My mom put her hand on my face, and tears came pouring down.
I tried to reach up to brush their hands away, but my hands felt weird. Looking down, I saw the large bandages and wires in my hand, holding it down. Again, my heart felt heavy, and my throat closed up.
“It’s okay.” My dad put his white hand over my wrist. “You’re okay. Five fingers. Five toes. You’re okay, breathe.”
I took a deep breath and looked around again…it was a hospital. Okay, we’re in a hospital.
“That’s right, sweetheart, breathe,” my mom said as she brushed my hair from my face.
Looking at her, I took another deep breath…ignoring the pain, opening my mouth. All I could manage to say was, “W…y…Wyatt.”
I waited, looking toward her and waited, but she just stared back at me. Why was she just staring at me? Was my voice too low? Swallowing slowly, I opened my mouth one more time, making sure to clearly say it so she could hear me. “W...Wyatt?”
Again, she didn’t reply. Instead, her eyes…they looked like she was about to cry. Looking away from her and to my father, I asked again. “Wyatt?”
He made a face, like he cringed, and maybe he thought I didn’t notice because he forced himself to smile. “Rest, sweetheart, we’ll talk later—”
“WYATT!” I screamed, shifting my gaze around my parents to my brother. Knowing he wouldn’t lie to me, but he wouldn’t look me in the eye.
Since they wouldn’t tell me, I looked to my left, and thankfully, that hand was listening to me. Gritting my teeth, I lifted it and tried to yank the wires of myself.
“Helen, stop!” my dad hollered, grabbing onto my hand.
“WYATT!”
“Helen, you just need to relax. You’ve been asleep for a few days—”
Why couldn’t they hear? “WYATT! WHERE IS WYATT? ANSWER ME!”
“HE’S BRAIN DEAD!” Darcy finally yelled back at me, eyes filled with tears. He put his hand on my arm. “He…a bullet cracked his skull…that, plus the rest of his injuries…it was too much. He was declared brain dead three day ago. We haven’t turned off the machines. We were waiting for Ethan to go get Dona and for you to wake up. But he’s gone.”
I stared at him and shook my head. I tried to move out of bed. But I couldn’t. It felt like everyone was holding me down.
“Helen, please, please. We almost lost you.” My mom tried to touch me, but I shook my head.
“I…ne…ed…to…see…him,” I said to her.
“Helen, he’ll still be here,” my dad whispered, putting his hand on my head, but I shook it off.
“If…he’s…dead…you’re…burying…me…too!”
“HELEN!” my mom screamed in my face. She grabbed onto me and yelled. “STOP! Please just stop! He’s gone! Sweetheart, I know you both were close. But you need to rest—”
“I…love…him.”
“I know, baby—”
I shook my head again. They weren’t hearing me. Goddamn, my throat. I needed to speak. “I love him…like you…like you love dad…he goes…I go.”
“What?” my father barely whispered out. I couldn’t read his face, but I didn’t know what to do but tell the truth.
My eyes burned from my own tears, but I couldn’t stop. I needed them to know. I needed them to hear.
“We…he…was…going to tell you…when you came…. b…back.” I smiled despite my tears. “We were…happy. So happy. He’s not gone, Daddy. He wouldn’t leave me here.”
He let go of my hand, shaking his head as if he couldn’t understand me. His eyebrows frowned together. “What are you saying to me right now, Helen? He was your cousin.”
“Is.” I corrected and smiled. “But not by blood, though.”
He didn’t speak. He just stared at me. I looked over to my mom, hoping she’d understand, but she was too worried over my heart rate. “Mommy…I need to see him.”
“Helen, we just got you back, please don’t—”
“You will lose me. I swear, if you don’t take me to him,” I whispered, my voice no longer as high as I wanted it to be.
They all stood there like shocked, confused mannequins. No one moved. No one said anything. Instead, they made me feel like I was delusional. The longer they stayed that way, the more I imagined
