“Well?”
“He’s not brain dead.”
“I figured that part out myself. What the hell is going on?” I was one quack doctor away from losing my damn patience with them all.
“It’s called locked-in syndrome, or pseudocoma. Your brother is aware of everything that is going on around him. The trauma from the accident must have left his brain unable to connect to the rest of his body. We call it locked-in syndrome because it’s as if he is trapped inside his own body.”
How long has he been like this?
“How do you fix him?”
“There are no known treatments or cures—”
“Let me get this straight, so I know whether or not to kill you.” Inhaling sharply, I was trying to get my head around what he was telling me. “First I’m told that my brother is brain dead, and there is nothing that can be done. So my family and I are losing our minds with grief while my brother listens, helplessly trapped inside his own body. Which none of you highly trained medical professionals caught. I’m willing to bet my brother has been cursing you and this damn hospital to every damn level of hell. Instead, by God’s good grace, I’m pig-headed enough to hope and watch him despite what everyone else is telling me…and therefore able to catch the fact that he is not dead. I once again call all you highly educated, over-paid motherfuckers…and once again, you all tell me there is nothing that can be done. Am I just supposed to leave him like this?”
I caught Wyatt’s eyes move, and I smirked. “Right now he’s cursing me for even suggesting that.”
“What made you realize he’s there?” the doctor questioned, rolling the smooth end of his pen over Wyatt’s forearm. But this time there was no response.
“He was panicking.” It was the only way I could describe it.
“Panicking?”
“When our cousin started yelling, I noticed Wyatt’s hand twitch. Then when she started struggling to breathe, I got up to help, and I looked at him and I felt…it felt like he was trying to get up, too. Like he was trying to get to her. So the only thing I could think of doing was threatening her…he panicked, and he opened his eyes. He fought to open them to save her.” It was so like a scene from a cheesy romantic telenovela or sceneggiati.
“Well, now that we know he’s in there, we’ll run more tests and see if there is anything else we can do.”
I didn’t have anything else to say. I just nodded to him. He and the white coats left, and it was only when he was gone that I turned to my uncle.
“Uncle Declan, I’m—”
His fist collided with my mouth so hard I could taste the blood. Swallowing it, I turned back to face him.
“I deserved that one.”
“If you ever…I mean ever play with my daughter’s life like that again, I’ll set you on fire, rip you apart limb by goddamn limb. I don’t care who the fuck you think you are.”
“I understand.” I nodded to him.
He said nothing else and walked away. Everyone was in Helen’s room now, to watch out for her but also to give my brother and I space. Pulling up the chair beside him, I took a deep breath, hunching over the rail of his bed.
“How the mighty have fallen.” I snickered bitterly. “We’re a bunch of…no, I’m the fool. I’m the one who needs redemption. I’ve resented you. Resented you for leaving me, for not seeing I was in pain, too. I just wanted…I’ve always just wanted what Mom and Dad said we’d have. That we’d end up fighting, side by side. When they killed Ivy, I felt exposed…not just to them but you, too. I always wanted to be the role model for you, and because of that, I kept hiding what I was thinking and feeling. Dad warned me…or at least he tried to warn me. And I didn’t listen. I went back on my promises to them and to you…and you ended up like this. I can’t even tell if you can hear me or if you’re asleep.”
Reaching over, I lifted his eyelid, and his eye immediately shifted to mine…like he was glaring at me.
“Oh, you’re awake. This must be annoying for you, but for the record, this is very creepy for me,” I said, letting go of his eyelid. I smiled. “Despite everything, despite how pissed off you might be at me right now…I’m so fucking happy you’re alive. Dona…”
When I said her name, his eyelids twitched again.
“She doesn’t know. She’ll kill us when she finds out we kept this from her. But I couldn’t bear to break her heart. I was waiting…for courage. I should thank the coward in me for not going to get her…she would have found some way to blame herself.”
He almost died.
No.
I thought he had died. I thought I lost him, and it gutted me worse than I ever thought possible…worse than Ivy.
I had to change.
I had to be better.
I had to find a better balance.
I didn’t know the answer. I just knew I was going to need his help. I was going to need to figure out who I was without the ice…how to be more a part of the family. I had made a mistake. I thought I could do it, and they all suffered because of it. I’d heard them all, and I knew they cared. The problem was me.
I’d hit the bottom of the barrel.
Exhaling, I looked down at him. “Before I can go any further, brother, I’m going to need you. And if you can’t pull yourself out, I’m going to drag you out. Uncle Declan can set me on fire, I don’t give a damn…if I need to threaten Helen to get to you, I will. And I’m sure you heard her; she’s willing to do anything to get you back.”
His eyes snapped open again, and he defiantly glared.
“Look at you.”
