“Wah, is this the price?” Ah Ma stabbed her finger at the drinks menu. “So expensive.”
“It’s fine,” Mom said. “It’s our special day out. And you are only having one drink, because one drink for you is the equivalent of four drinks for someone else.”
Ah Ma shook the lunch menu. “I don’t understand this. It is supposed to be in English, but I am not so sure? What is chimichurri? What is tartare? This is too complicated. And why are there chocolates in the mac and cheese?”
Amber looked at the description of the mac and cheese and immediately understood her grandmother’s confusion. “They aren’t talking about chocolate truffles. Truffles are a fancy fungus.”
“Fancy fungus! In mac and cheese? What do you mean?” Ah Ma shook her head. “White-person restaurants are weird. I am ordering just for me, right? Not for sharing?”
For decades, Ah Ma and Ah Yeh had run Wong’s Wok, a Chinese-Canadian restaurant in Mosquito Bay. They’d been so busy working at the restaurant that they hadn’t gotten a chance to eat out very often. Besides, there wasn’t much selection in Mosquito Bay. When they were in London, Ah Ma usually wanted to go to a Chinese restaurant, but occasionally she could be persuaded to try other things.
However, she ended up complaining most of the time.
Mom sighed. “Maybe this was a mistake. I should have picked something else, but I wanted to give this place a try.”
The server came around to take their drink orders, and it was another ten minutes before they decided on their food. Amber ordered the truffle mac and cheese, which came with a spinach salad. Her mother ordered the calamari. Ah Ma chose the lamb burger with sweet potato fries.
Their drinks arrived soon after, and Ah Ma looked at hers with delight.
“Ah, it is so big! And there is the umbrella.” Ah Ma took a sip. “It is a little sweet, but still tasty. Amber, take a picture of me enjoying my tropical vacation!”
Dutifully, Amber snapped a picture with her phone.
When the food arrived, Ah Ma didn’t even complain about the portion size, which was a definite sign that she had drunk a lot.
Amber had a bite of her salad, then tried the mac and cheese. It was rich and creamy, and she closed her eyes and sighed in bliss.
“It looks like it is delicious,” Ah Ma said. “Let me try.” She reached over with her fork to grab a bite of Amber’s mac and cheese. “Amazing! This is nothing like what comes from the box. I guess fancy fungus is good after all. Rosemary, I am trying some of yours, too.” She helped herself to a piece of calamari. “Not as good as the truffle mac and cheese, but still delicious. Can I have some of your drink, too, Amber?”
“You have exactly the same drink as me,” Amber pointed out.
“But yours has a blue umbrella! Mine is pink.”
“The color of the umbrella doesn’t change the taste of the drink.”
“Let me test. It will be like a science experiment.” Ah Ma grabbed Amber’s drink and had a sip. “I think yours is not as sweet as mine.”
Mom laughed. “I think you should eat your own food and drink. But I’m glad you like it.” She turned to Amber. “How’s work going?”
“Pretty good.”
“How are Gloria and Roxanne?”
“They’re good.”
“You know, you can add a little variety to your answers.”
“Sorry,” Amber said, “I was distracted...”
Her grandmother was triumphantly holding three fries up above her head.
“I am a sweet potato queen!” Ah Ma burped. She had another sweet potato fry, then picked up her burger. She took a big bite of it, and some of the condiments came out the other side. “Such a good burger.”
The people at the next table were staring at them.
“So,” Mom said to Amber, “Greg, Nick, and Zach all have girlfriends. Are you going to bring a date to Chinese New Year, too?”
“No date,” Amber said, “and don’t you dare set me up with anyone.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t dare.”
“Except you did. At Thanksgiving. With one of my exes.”
Mom managed an infuriating smile. “Okay, we did. But I promise, I will not set you up with anyone for Chinese New Year. Maybe we could buy you some nice going-out clothes today, though. Something to really get a guy’s attention.”
“It’s not hard to get a guy’s attention. The difficulty is getting a decent man’s attention. The dating market is harsh, trust me. I’m off dating at the moment.”
“You might meet someone when you least expect it. Like at the grocery store.”
Amber choked on her mac and cheese. Her grandma stumbled up from her chair and slapped Amber—with surprising strength—on the back, but unfortunately Ah Ma then tripped on the table leg, and Mom barely got a hold of her before she knocked over one of the piña coladas.
Though Amber was most certainly not dating Sebastian, he was a decent guy, and she’d run into him—for the first time in years—in the grocery store. They’d discussed condoms, not apple varieties or cuts of beef, which was likely what Mom had in mind.
At the horrifying thought of Mom learning the Magnum condom story, Amber took a gulp of her piña colada and almost choked again.
“Went down the wrong pipe,” she said. “I’m fine.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me, Amber?” Mom asked. “Did you, in fact, meet someone at the grocery store?”
“Amber has a mystery man,” Ah Ma said gleefully. “Who is he? I will find out.”
“No mystery man,” Amber said.
But apparently she wasn’t convincing enough.
“Does he have big muscles?” Ah Ma flexed her arm before biting into the pineapple garnish on her drink.
“What’s his name?” Mom asked. “What does he do for a living?”
“I want to be young again!” Ah Ma said. “Having lots of love affairs. Amber, you should enjoy yourself now. Are you using Tinder? How do these things work? We will get you sexy clothes at the mall today for your mystery man. You will be
