“I am,” you grade A, prime-specimen bitch, I had added in my mind. But two could play at the snide game. “César never mentioned that he had a girlfriend,” I told her offhandedly. “What did you say your name was? Something about a mermaid movie, right?”
She had looked me up and down again, eyes narrowed, sneer even worse. “I can see why he only wants you as a roommate. Come on, girls.” Her squad scoffed at me too and then trailed behind her into the living room. I had looked after her, studying the woman who represented César’s type. She was pretty—very pretty— and small, petite. Her dark hair was long and straight and styled. She looked great, and I had to admit that he had good taste, in terms of looks. Personality, however, was another matter.
Then I had spotted some of my old friends from high school as they came in, and I decided not to care about Arielle anymore. And I hadn’t, not until I watched her hang on César’s arm and smile up at him. He had smiled back down at her and I’d turned away, not interested in seeing any more.
Now, a few hours later, things were still raging but I needed a break from the heat and the people. I’d had a rush of energy throughout the day to get the house ready, but it had ebbed away, and also, I wanted to check my phone to see if Ellie had said anything else. Maybe she had written that she had been joking before about going to Vegas to get married. I went into the kitchen and found a quiet spot.
A few moments later, the door to the pantry opened, startling me. “I thought I saw you come in here,” César told me. “What are you doing?”
I was sitting on a giant bag of dried beans in the corner and trying not to cry. Ellie had sent me a picture of herself and Teddy under a banner that announced, “Just Married!” I had never seen her look so happy. I was happy too, but my tears weren’t entirely due to that.
I cleared away the emotion in my throat. “I’m taking a party break,” I answered. “Are you having fun?”
“Sure,” he said. He came into the little room too, and his large body filled the space. “Do you need to go upstairs and lie down?”
Yes, I really wanted to. “In the middle of all this? Of course not!” I told him. “Where’s Arielle?”
He actually looked over his shoulder. “I don’t know, with her friends? She said she met you.”
“Yes. She’s…she…she has beautiful hair,” I finally said.
He laughed. “She said something similar about you. I had a feeling you two wouldn’t get along.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. You’re different. She’s into clothes and stuff.”
“What, do I dress in rags?” I asked him, offended.
“No, but you don’t care as much. She’s always checking on that beautiful hair you mentioned. Whereas last week, I had to ask you if you owned a brush before you left for work.”
“That was just on Wednesday because I got up late and I didn’t have time for a lot of preparation!” I defended myself. “I do care about my appearance, kind of. I don’t want to run around looking like a witch.” I ran my hands over my hair now, checking.
“You look beautiful,” he told me. “You know that.” He bent a little closer, looking into my face. “Are you feeling ok?”
“I’m great,” I said, and started to get up. César reached and lifted me to my feet, and for just a moment, I leaned against him. “I should tell you that my plans for the future have changed,” I mentioned.
“Have they?” His arms reached around me, loosely holding me.
“I’m going to pay you rent for next month, too,” I told him. I let my cheek rest against his chest. “Maybe we could go month to month until I figure out where to go.”
“Not Florida?” His palm went to my back and pressed me closer. It felt wonderful.
“No. You were right in what you said. Ellie doesn’t need me anymore.” I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do, but I had the dinner next week at Lindy Nyland’s house to make new pregnancy friends, and maybe that would give me some direction.
“I’m glad you’re not moving there.” His fingers massaged the small of my back and I tried not to moan in pleasure. “It would have worked all right in the off-season, but it would have been so hard during the months when I’m up here playing. I wouldn’t have seen the baby—”
I picked up my head and stepped away, stumbling a little when my heel caught the bag of beans. César reached for me again.
The door to the pantry opened. “César? You have to help me with Jory,” a deep voice announced, and Gunnar Christensen’s head appeared over his shoulder. “He’s in your gym…oh, sorry, man.”
I pushed on César’s chest, and he backed up. There wasn’t really room for me and two Woodsmen in the pantry. “I’ll talk to you more later about the rent,” I called over my shoulder, and walked back into the party. I decided to seriously devote myself to having fun and to forgetting everything else.
“Let’s go to Roy’s Tavern!” my friend Melissa urged me a while later. She tilted her head and killed her glass of mulled wine, from batch number four.
I hesitated. It was a long drive to get there, and the place was a dump. I’d had fun at Roy’s before and even danced on the tables a few times, but I didn’t know if I was up for it tonight.
“Come on! Why are you being so lame? You wouldn’t do a shot, you wouldn’t streak with us.” She tilted her head and stared at me. “What’s going on? Are you getting old or
