“You’re being affected by the area already,” Kirian observes, reading my mood. He waves a finger toward the murky sky. “Do you want me to clear all this?”
It’s nice of him to offer, but I’m not the only one who needs to conserve energy and strength. “No, just let it be. Maybe talk to me instead.”
“If we were traveling to the Dream Realm the conventional way, we’d go on a trail through there.” Kirian points to the left where the rocky road splits. “It’s a beautiful detour. Lots of great sights to see.”
I notice the way the trees and bushes flourish in that direction.
Then I look forward to where we’re headed. My feet drag a little when I see the dark crevice leading into the cavern. The opening is about fifteen feet wide at the base, and old wooden signs are posted outside, saying things like BEWARE and DO NOT ENTER.
That’s reassuring.
“Why would anyone choose to go through this place if they don’t absolutely have to?” I wonder.
“The safer path through the mountains is winding and long,” Kirian replies. “It’s about fifteen miles, while going straight through the Shadowlands is less than three. A faerie can fly over if they don’t have a wagon or a carriage, but most coming through here have a load of goods for trade. Some people like to take their chances with the short cut.”
“And some people don’t make it out alive,” Damon cracks cheerfully. If he’s trying to be funny, it’s not working. “Astrid is a badass witch. She’s lived in here for years and never had a problem. Going to see her is always dangerous. But as humans say—no risk, no reward.”
“Hey, you actually got that one right.” I smile at him.
His eyebrows furrow. “Don’t I always get the humanisms right?”
I grimace. He’s putting his life on the line for me. Now’s probably not the best time to tell him he needs to work on it.
Shrugging off his backpack, Kirian digs inside and pulls out a small square about the size of my palm. He does that unfolding trick, and the material multiplies. As it unravels, I notice there are straps coming from each corner. He throws two over his shoulders and ties the others around his waist until it resembles a loose pouch.
Satisfied with the way it fits, he nods and pats it. “You’ll be right here the whole time.”
I gape at him. “Is that a baby carrier?”
“Technically, yes.”
“And you want me to ride in it?”
“It’s the best way for me to protect you. You’ll be close to me, and my hands will be free to use my weapon.”
My heart starts to pound. Oh, God. He’ll need to use his axe.
Untying the top straps of the carrier, Kirian motions for me to hop onto him.
Who am I to say no when we’re about to enter the pits of hell?
After climbing Kirian like a tree, I get secured in my safety seat. My face is just inches from his neck, our chests are smashed together, and my center is snugly pressed to the hardening bulge in his leather pants.
“Hey, this isn’t all that bad,” I joke, attempting to lighten the mood.
“Good. Hold onto that attitude. Just keep thinking as many happy thoughts as you can while we’re in there.” His tone is full of caution, and it only makes me more nervous.
“Why?”
“Because some of the creatures living in there are attracted to fear,” Damon answers. “As humans say, you can run, but they can find you if they smell you. Is that correct?”
“No,” I whimper. What the fuck am I getting into?
Trying to put on a brave face, I wrap my arms around Kirian’s neck. I press my nose to the hollow of his throat, breathing in the comforting scent of crisp air and fallen leaves.
“Close your eyes,” Kirian says softly as he walks forward. “You won’t be able to see anyway. The darkness might not freak you out as much if you just pretend you’re taking a nap. We’ll go as quickly as possible.”
I do as he says, and my world becomes dark as I slam my eyes shut. The guys draw their weapons, and the sound of metal scraping against metal only adds to my anxiousness.
Happy thoughts. That’s what I need.
I picture my treehouse. I remember all the times Kirian and I hung out up there. It was our go-to spot whenever it was raining or snowing. Our shelter. Our safety. He loved to plop down onto my bean bag and drink hot chocolate while I sat next to him on a cushion of blankets. Usually, I’d lean back against his leg and read to him or we’d do my homework.
As soon as we enter the Shadowlands, I can tell. I feel the air change. It becomes impossibly colder, but there’s no wind. It’s so still.
Too still.
It’s like the air itself has no life. I breathe it in, but it feels thin. Unsatisfying.
Kirian’s quick steps make me bounce. Although our bodies are rubbing together, for once, I’m not turned on. When I’m around Kirian, I’m in a constant state of horniness. If this place can kill my libido, there must be something really wrong with it.
A couple minutes in, I give into temptation and open my eyes.
And there’s nothing. It’s the blackest black I’ve ever seen.
I whip my head to the right. To the left. I’m searching for any glimmer of light, even though I know I won’t find it.
I feel trapped. Claustrophobic.
This is what Kirian woke up to the day he went blind, and he’s been living in it ever since.
How awful. It’s terrifying.
Now I realize the full weight of our decision to be together. This will be his reality. Forever.
Because of me. Because I couldn’t leave
