Daxell kisses my cheek and nuzzles into my neck, and murmurs, “Like grief, time tends to lessen the loss, even though the loss of that loved one remains. Is that what you mean?”
“Yes, exactly. So these Primordials were there in the beginning before time could work its majic. Not much was going on in the beginning, I’m assuming. Is that why they went to sleep? I have so many questions. I can remember being Eve, but not Nemesis. Why?”
“I think that I may have an answer to that.” He says, running his hands over me and lifting me so he can cradle me in his arms. Laying my head on his shoulder, I wait for him to continue. “ Nemesis was created with a single purpose and from what Clotho’s said, or Jillisandra, whatever you want to call her, you are now different. Maybe, fragmented? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but here goes my theory. Nemesis went to sleep before the other gods and goddesses and the Fallen came to be, as per the creator’s plan. Then along comes Eve. Once again, as per the creator’s plan, Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge. Once Eve died, her soul was released back to the creator and from there, you, Adam, and the creator concocted a plan to set things right further along the timeline. The creator knew that Nemesis was flawed from her inception and that Eve would be reborn again to take up the mantle, but this time, the creator wanted a just and gentle soul. One that would not pass judgment so harshly, one that had sinned herself, one that had learned from difficult lessons from her previous life. Therefore making it unnecessary for you to remember all that Nemesis was, forevermore fundamentally changed for all time.”
The tears that follow are not something that I can hold in check, and I whisper, “Thank you for that. I hope you’re right.” I hold him close and he crushes me to him. “I love you, demon boy.”
“I love you too, honey cheeks.”
38
Acceptance
(Daxell)
After we got back to our temporary housing, I put Lillie to bed. She was exhausted. Worried. Unsure of herself, and … She was scared. God. I hate that she’s scared. I would do anything to release her from her fears. For the rest of our evening, I just held her close and wished that I could alleviate her worst fears. If only for a moment. For the first time in my life, I realize that all my resentment, all my anger at being born part demon is nothing compared to what Lillie is dealing with right now. Hell? If it weren’t for her, I’d still be wallowing in the umbrage of my lineage. I’ve been nothing but a selfish bastard for most of my adult life and had no clue how horrible I had been to my mother at times, but Lillie changed all of that, and now I vow to do whatever it takes to make these recent revelations easier for her to bear as we move forward. I place a gentle kiss on her forehead before leaving her to her rest.
The plan that everyone agreed upon yesterday was for the imps to leave out in the morning and make it to the spot just before the Barren Lands to layover for the next day’s journey. Poppy and Pip stopped by before they left out with last-minute instructions. They wanted to see Lillie but I informed them that she was not to be disturbed. Her sleep had been fitful and I wanted her well-rested for what is to come. When she finally woke she was unusually quiet as she packed a small bag for our travels. I watched as she armed herself with daggers strapped to her legs and even her arms. I kept my mouth shut when she swore over dropping one of her blades. She went about her business before turning on me.
“I was awake when they were here earlier. Is it bad of me that I didn’t want to see them before they left? They’re doing this for me, to help me. I just couldn’t … that was so selfish. Hiding away like that. I’m not sure that I’m ready for this, Dax? How in the world did my mother take on so much when she was so young and ignorant of The Otherworld and all its mysteries? She was two years younger than I am now and she had just lost the only mother that she had ever known, and yet she …” LJ pauses, searching for her next words. “My mother is the strongest woman I know. I can only hope to live up to her expectations, but I’m scared that I won’t, and of what is to come.”
“I know,” I gather my mate into my arms and kiss the top of her head. “I happen to think that you are as strong as your mother or even stronger. I don’t know all of her story, but I know this, your parents have faith in you and what you are capable of, as do I. You can do this and so much more. You’re strong, you’re just, as well as loving, resilient, need I go on?” I smile into her hair as I hold her close to me taking in the honey cream scent of her tresses. For a moment, we just stand there holding one another.
Pulling back, she looks up at me, her eyes glistening, “Thank you, Daxell. I just want to get this done. You know? I need to get this binding bracelet removed. I want to be able to feel our connection to one another again. I know it was brief, but I miss it. I feel incomplete without it.” She wavers, “I need to fully
