“See what I mean?” Jerome said, shaking his head sadly. “See what I mean?”
Begging Brownie’s Pardon
Christy sat in the hard wooden chair outside Brownie’s office at Colby. It had been forty minutes since the parent-volunteer secretary announced her. She wondered if she should knock again just to see how much longer it would be but decided against it. If Brownie knew she was in a hurry, she would keep her waiting longer.
It was Michael’s idea that Christy make amends with Brownie. She still had to report to her for the fifth-grade-graduation extravaganza. Brownie was the Mother of All Mommies at Colby, and it behooved Christy to get along with her. After an hour, the parent-volunteer secretary summoned her inside.
Christy had met a lot of important people in her life. No one had ever kept her waiting this long. Following her second Olympic victory, she and the other medalists got to meet the president. Even he didn’t keep them waiting. But she refused to let her frustration show. “Hello, Brownie,” she said, extending her hand.
Brownie didn’t take it. Instead she sat down and said, “So, tell me how I can help you.”
Christy made herself at home in the visitor’s chair. She cleared her throat. “Brownie, I came here today to make sure you and I are square. I know we’ve had a few rough patches, but our girls go to the same school, and our goals are the same for the PTA. Can we make peace?”
“That depends. Is that Wall Street Week article true? Did you sleep with my husband?”
Christy took a deep breath, not sure how to respond. “I thought you two had separated. I had relations with Fran…once. It was a terrible mistake. I’m sorry, Brownie.”
“Hmmph,” she snorted. “He said the article was a crock. Now I don’t know whom to believe.”
Dammit, Christy thought. I should have known the bastard would lie. “I pose no threat to you, Brownie. I’m happily married to Michael. And I wish you’d reconsider letting Renata play with Stephanie. She misses her so much.”
“I will not have that strumpet in my home.”
Strumpet? How dare you call my daughter a strumpet? Christy wanted to leap over the desk and choke the haughty cow until her turtlelike face turned blue and her bug eyes popped out of their sockets. But she sat on her hands and took deep, cleansing breaths instead. She thought of all the annoying people she had tolerated to build her business. She could do this. “We need to work together on the graduation,” Christy said. “Can you at least agree to give me your support on that for the good of the school?”
“Yes, for the good of the school. But don’t get any crazy ideas. You and I will never be friends.”
Christy wanted to dance the hokey-pokey on that news flash. But she continued to sit on her hands and took more deep, cleansing breaths.
“Are you available two weeks from Wednesday?” Brownie asked, consulting her calendar.
“I could be.”
“Fine. I’d like to hold a luncheon at my home in your honor since you’re chairing the graduation. We’ll invite the fifteen make-it-or-break-it fifth-grade Colby mothers. If you have their support, the event will be a success. Without it, you’re doomed.”
“Thank you. I don’t know what to say.” Christy was struggling hard to keep a straight face.
“Just show up and I’ll take care of the rest. Oh, wait. There’s one thing you could do.”
“Anything.”
“You can be responsible for the flowers. We’ll have two large oval tables. The colors in the room are blue and yellow. I’d recommend blue hydrangeas mixed with white peonies, with a spray of yellow delphinium. Do you think you can you manage that?”
“Yes, Brownie, I think I can order a couple of flower arrangements.” Give me a break, Christy thought. In all her years in business, she didn’t think she had met anyone as annoying as this Duchess of Do-Goodism.
“Fine. But don’t get any ideas about our becoming friends. It’s not going to happen. I could probably get past your having carnal relations with my husband. But I’ll never forgive you for getting it splashed in the press.”
“Brownie, if I’d known Fran was still with you, I wouldn’t have given him the time of day. I’d do anything if you’d forgive me.”
Brownie was silent for a moment. Then, slowly, she turned her thin lips upward into a sort of snarl smile. “There is one thing.”
“There is?”
“Your husband is big in the media world, right?”
“Yes.”
“Does he know Scottie Childs?”
“I think so, why?”
“I want to be invited to dinner with Scottie. I want to meet her.”
Christy just about lost her lunch. Scottie Childs was famous beyond fame, one of the richest women in the world, a daytime-TV idol and media mogul who had risen from poverty to the stratosphere of power and success. Dinner with Brownie? Sure. No problem. “Well, you know, she lives in L.A. It may be hard to get her to New York for a dinner.”
“I know for a fact that Scottie has a standing monthly appointment to have her eyebrows groomed by Gabrielle at John Barrett’s. You asked me what you could do to help me move past your quote-unquote mistake. I told you. That’s it,” Brownie said.
“Well, I’ll ask Michael. Just out of curiosity, why do you want to meet her?”
“It’s a charity thing. I’m chairwoman of an organization that provides psychological counseling for children with self-esteem issues.”
Christy stood and curled her lips into a nervous smile. “Well, hmmm…I know Scottie cares about children. I’ll see if Michael can arrange something.”
Michael laughed so hard at Brownie’s request that Christy was worried he might not come through for her.
“Ha-ha, crazy, huh?” Christy laughed.
Michael started howling all over again. He was holding his stomach. Tears were streaming down his face.
“It’s not that funny,” Christy said.
That got Michael started again.
“She is too much, too much,” he said, wiping his eyes.
“But you’ll do it, right?”
“Beegee, if I make Scottie listen to a
