She laughed harder. She laughed so hard that she cried. “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “It’s just that, wow, I can’t believe I actually cared so much about making it in the Colby PTA. When did I lose my way?”
“What are you talking about? Lose your way? There’s nothing more important than leading a community of parents in support of your children’s school.”
“Lead? You don’t lead, Brownie. You terrorize. What you do has nothing to do with supporting your children’s school. It’s all about manipulating the other parents to make you feel important. Your PTA should be called the Pain, Torture, and Agony Association. No one can say what they think. Working mothers are excluded. Everyone’s afraid they’ll screw up and you’ll blackball them. Well, guess what, sister-girlfriend? For me, the reign of terror is over. I quit. You can stick the PTA up your gold-plated ass. And now, I’m going to go watch my little girl graduate.”
Christy walked out of the bathroom. Brownie followed her. “You can’t quit,” she yelled. “I’m firing you.”
“You do that, Brownie. See if I care.” Christy opened the door to the ballroom. The room was so quiet, you could hear a goat fart. All mouths were agape as everyone watched Brownie and Christy walk in. No one moved. Then Michael rose to his feet. He started clapping. Andrea joined him. Fran Rich stood up and applauded. Brownie’s minions were whistling and yelling “Whoo-hoo!” Soon the whole room was cheering. Christy blinked in disbelief. Then she realized that their mikes were on. Her argument with Brownie had been broadcast over the PA system. LaShaun Mason was standing up and cheering. Christy started laughing and applauding, too.
Brownie finally tuned in to what had happened. She looked around anxiously. Then she marched up to the podium and held her hands up to stop the noise.
“People, peeeee-ple!” she shouted. “Let’s have some quiet, please. Today’s focus should be on our daughters and nothing else.”
The crowd began to boo. Mothers started hurling insults at Brownie. “You’re through, Brownie.” “Go home, Brown Nose.” “You’re common, Brown Cow.”
The headmistress, Mrs. Greer, appeared onstage. “Why don’t you sit down, Bronwen? It’s time to present the diplomas.”
“Yes, but as head of the PTA, it’s my duty to shake every girl’s hand.”
“Give it a rest, Brown Nose,” she said, shooing her off the stage.
Brownie walked away, shell-shocked. She pushed Princess Anastasia off the chair and took the only empty seat in the ballroom, right next to Little-Maria. As Brownie sat in the cheap seats watching Stephanie get her diploma, the baby goat that had been so unceremoniously shooed aside pooped on Brownie’s favorite khaki slingback shoes.
Damn, Christy thought, watching Brownie run out of the room kicking goat shit off her shoes, I guess Princess Anastasia isn’t housebroken after all.
I Come Bearing Gifts
Michael took everyone to lunch after graduation. Little-Maria insisted on bringing the goat, but the Four Seasons insisted right back that they had a “no farm animal in the dining room” policy. Since Michael was such a good customer, they assigned someone to guard Princess Anastasia in the alley so he wouldn’t be stolen. Christy didn’t think there was much danger of that.
“I’d like to propose a toast to Renata,” Michael said, after drinks had been served. “Congratulations on your promotion to middle school. We’re all very proud of you.” Glasses were clinked all around in Renata’s honor.
Christy’s stomach dropped. She prayed this wasn’t the end of Renata’s education. How could her family not see that staying here would be better for her?
Renata blushed. “I just wish Grandma and Mrs. De Mille were here.”
“Oh, they’re looking down on you right now,” Nectar said. “‘Vex not his ghost: O, let her pass!’ That’s Shakespeare. Don’t you feel their spirits?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Renata said, looking around, unconvinced.
Christy stood up and raised her glass. “And I want to propose a toast to Ali, who is now back in her father’s life. I’m thrilled for both of you.”
“Yay!” Renata said. “Now we can all live together like one big happy family.” Renata looked at Michael hopefully. Michael eyed Renata’s family suspiciously. Old-Maria stared longingly at Renata. Christy wondered what she saw when she looked at her—Renata or an extra farmhand. There was an uncomfortable silence that Michael finally broke.
“Here, Renata,” he said, handing her a small black velvet box that could only hold a ring. “This is for you.”
“Thanks,” she said, popping it open. Her eyes lit up when she saw what was inside. “Wow, I love it.”
“If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” Ali said.
“Ali, stop being a smart aleck,” Michael said.
“Let me see what you got,” Christy said, peeking into Renata’s box. There was a small gold ring, with a yellow diamond surrounded by five white diamonds. “It looks like a sunflower.”
“What about me, Daddy? Didja get me one, too?” Ali asked.
“Did you graduate today?” Michael asked.
“No.”
“There’s your answer.”
Ali made a pouty face.
Christy was impressed. It was the first time she’d heard Michael say no to his daughter.
“Thank you, Michael,” Renata said, giving him a hug. More progress, Christy thought, his being sweet to the kid. Renata walked around the table, showing the ring to Nectar, Jorge, Old-Maria, and Young-Mother-Maria. She even stuck it in front of Little-Maria, who couldn’t have cared less. Ali asked if she could borrow it. Renata said no. Ali called her “period face.” Michael told Ali not to call her sister a period face on her graduation day. Her sister, Christy thought. Now, there’s a first.
André, the waiter, came by and told everyone about the specials. They ordered. Old-Maria and Young-Mother-Maria whispered and pointed at a celebrity they recognized sitting at the corner table right behind them.
“Christy,” Michael said quietly, “I have something for you, too.”
“Oh?”
He pulled a velvet box out of his pocket and set it in front of her. Another gift from Sonny’s, their favorite jewelry store
