Damon drove to the mall. He bought a couple of shirts for his sister and some cologne for his mother, so he wouldn’t be lying. Then, he drove himself to the Chinese restaurant behind the mall and sat in his cold car for a few minutes before he got up enough nerve to go inside.
Once inside, Damon took off his glasses. He wiped the condensation from the lenses with the hem of his brown polo shirt and put them back on. He looked across the restaurant to see Sasha sitting primly in a booth. She looked exactly the same as he remembered her while she was sitting down. Sasha stood up and smoothed a hand over her big belly. Damon’s eyes widened. On lead feet, he walked to the table.
“Hi,” she said. She smiled at him tentatively and lifted her lips like she was expecting a kiss from him. Damon continued past her and slumped into the booth across from her. He didn’t bother to take off his brown storm jacket.
“I’ve missed you, Damon,” she said, looking sad. She sat down clumsily, brushing her belly against the table, knocking the napkin to the floor. Damon watched her while she struggled to reach over and pick it up. He made no move to assist her.
“What are you going to do?” asked Damon. In the five days since his trip to the hospital, his mind had been running in constant agonized circles like a demented hamster on speed. He’d dodged Brielle in class, leaving her narrow-eyed and puzzled. After school, he begged off of phone calls, telling Brielle that he had to study for upcoming exams.
Sasha smiled.
“We’re going to have a baby, Damon,” she said, like she was happy about it.
“I noticed,” said Damon, sullenly. “When?”
Damon had two nieces and a nephew, as his brother Dexter and his wife had three children, but had never had to care for any babies. Jada was less than a year younger than Damon. He had no practical knowledge of how to have a baby, even if he’d had sex education in school and carried around that artificial baby for health class.
“In February,” said Sasha, looking proud. “The doctor’s said February 15. I’m seven months pregnant.”
“Can’t you get an abortion?” he asked.
She looked at him like he was crazy.
“Too late for that,” she said, clasping her hands together in front of her. “I’d never do it anyway. I couldn’t kill our baby.”
“So, in two months, you’re going to be a mother,” said Damon, still trying to wrap his mind around that fact. Sasha smiled back at him.
“We,” she said. “Are going to be parents.”
Damon nodded.
“We can’t get married or nothing,” he said. “I’m too young. I don’t think my parents would go for that.”
The little Chinese waitress came over to the table and asked what they wanted to drink.
“Could I have a glass of milk?” asked Sasha.
“Coke,” said Damon.
“I’m hungry, Damon,’ said Sasha.
Damon nodded and they both slid out of the booth to walk over to the buffet. Damon watched Sasha from behind as she walked. Except for the fat belly, Sasha looked like any other fine nineteen year old. Damon didn’t know why she no longer appealed to him, but she didn’t. His mother’s words rose up to his mind.
“Beauty,” she was fond of saying, “is not an accomplishment. It is an ever changing, subjective standard set by weak minded people who don’t have anything better to do than make other weak minded people feel bad about God’s creation.”
Yep, his standard of beauty had definitely changed. Or maybe it hadn’t. He’d never considered Sasha to be beautiful, not like Brielle. Thick and fine, yes. He’d never thought about what the word beautiful meant. Sasha had just been a fine girl to play with. Sasha had approached him. He cast around in his mind for something he’d read to give him an answer to the questions spinning in his mind, but came up empty. Another of his mother’s adages came to him, “Don’t play,” she’d say, “if you aren’t ready to pay.” Nice time to get that one, Damon. This was not good. OH GOD!!
They ate in silence, Damon choking chicken, broccoli and pepper steak past his throat with difficulty. Sasha ate with gusto and drank at least three glasses of milk. She went back to the buffet twice. Damon watched, mind frozen with dread.
“I don’t know why I’m so hungry,” she said with a coy smile. “I guess it’s because I’m eating for two.” She chattered on and on about the upcoming baby and names she’d picked out. Damon just sat and stared at her.
“What’s the matter, boo?” she asked. “Aren’t you excited about the baby?” Damon wanted to throw up.
“No,” he said bluntly. “I’m not excited about anything that is going to wreck my life. I can’t have a baby. Why are you doing this?”
“I didn’t do this by myself, you know,” said Sasha, lip quivering. She set her half-finished glass of milk on the table and looked down at her rounded stomach, shoulders shaking.
“Don’t cry,” said Damon, quickly. His own voice sounded shaky. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s going to be fine,” she said, looking up. Her expression cleared like magic and she dashed away a few tears with the back of her hand. “You’ll see. Now that we are together, things will work out for the best.”
“Sasha,” said Damon through clenched teeth. “We are not together.”
Sasha’s eyes filled with tears again. “You’re not going to deny this baby, are you?”
“No,” said Damon, hastily. “I just need some time to get used to this.”
“Well,” said Sasha, sighing with relief. “I’ve had some months to get used to it. You’ll be all right. Prenatal classes start next week. My mother wants you to come over and talk to her.”
“Okay,” said Damon. He felt like he was swimming in Jell-O, getting just enough air to keep from drowning.
Sasha
“Who is this?” said Sasha’s mother. “You couldn’t wait to be sniffing up behind some boy as soon
