Damon wanted to cry, too. He vowed to himself to be as nice as possible to Sasha after this, the world’s guilt weighing heavy on his soul. How could he have known that this would be the outcome of a few moments of almost forgotten pleasure? Why hadn’t anybody told him? Or if they had, why didn’t he listen?
“Don’t be crying now,” said Sasha’s mother in a hard voice, echoing Damon’s thought pattern. “Should have thought about this moment a few months ago when you were gapping your legs open.”
Damon swung around to look at Mrs. Benson but kept his mouth shut. He clenched his jaw so tightly he could almost hear his teeth cracking under the pressure. Amina turned to Sasha.
“We might just have your mother wait outside,” she said, in a bright, even tone of voice that preschool teachers reserved for talking about recalcitrant two year olds. Then she turned to Sasha’s mother and said. “I know this is stressful for you, ma’am. So why don’t you go and get yourself a cup of coffee while your daughter births this baby, hmmm?”
“You’re putting me out?” asked Mrs. Benson, indignant.
“I don’t want to have to do that,” said Amina, with narrowed eyes. “But my patient is not a minor child and she is my first concern. This is not the time or the place for yelling at her about her choices.”
Sasha’s mother glared at Amina and Damon before she stalked from the room. Everyone sighed with relief.
“Thank you,” said Sasha in a small voice. Amina smiled at her
Just then, the Doctor strode in. She was a young black woman with a short curly afro.
“Hello, little mama,” she said while she washed her hands in the sick with beta dine solution and pulled on a pair of rubber gloves.
“Hi, Dr. Moon,” said Sasha. The pains had subsided for a moment and she loosened her hold on Damon’s hand. Damon flexed his hand to regain circulation and nodded to the doctor but said nothing. He watched while Dr. Moon soothed Sasha and then checked her to make certain she was fully dilated. Sasha moaned the whole time that the doctor was doing the pelvic exam and Damon felt his thighs lock together at the thought of going through anything similar. First, girls had to have a period, which was nasty and painful as far as he could tell, and now this. Damon was so glad that he wasn’t a girl.
“Show time, little mama,” said Dr. Moon, with a smile.
Damon watched fascinated for the next hour while Sasha pushed and grunted and screamed trying to get the baby out. He wanted to cover his face with his hands but he couldn’t pull his attention away from the scene. He watched in horror as the place that had given him so much pleasure stretched out of recognition and a furry head appeared. He swayed where he stood.
“Don’t you dare faint, dad,” said Amina. “We’ve got no time to pick you up.”
“I won’t,” said Damon, but he wasn’t at all sure he could keep his word.
Finally, with one last mighty shove and a scream from Sasha that sounded like her insides were being torn away, the baby slid out. Dr. Moon caught what looked to Damon like a giant slimy slug and said, “Congratulations, little mama, you have a son.”
She turned to Damon.
“Do you want to cut the cord?” she asked. Damon shook his head, terrified to get close to the thing. Amina gave him a sharp look and pushed him to a nearby chair, leaving bloody fingerprints on his scrubs.
“Sit,” she commanded. Damon sat. He didn’t see or remember anything else that went on afterwards until Amina came over to him.
“Have you recovered?” she asked. “Would you like to hold your son?”
Damon looked up at her like she was crazy but she proffered the blue blanket wrapped bundle like she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Damon took the baby with shaking hands.
“He’s so little,” said Damon, in a choked voice.
“Hold him like this,” said Amina, demonstrating. Damon nodded but couldn’t speak past the knot in his throat. “He weighs six pounds, three ounces.”
“He’s a little early,” said Sasha. “He wasn’t supposed to come until February.”
“He’s right on time,” said Dr. Moon, stripping of her rubber gloves and tossing them into a bin. “Babies come when they feel like it.”
Damon nodded.
“He’s had a rough night, so he needs to know that he’s finally safe,” Dr. Moon said. “Hold him close.”
Damon cradled the baby to his chest awkwardly and looked down into the little wrinkled old man’s face. Cloudy eyes stared back at him for a moment and then slammed shut.
“Does he have a name yet?” asked Amina.
“Ricardo,” answered Sasha, from the recovery table. “Ricardo Damon Anderson.”
Damon didn’t hear her, because for the second time in his life, he was too busy, falling in love.
Damon and Ricky
They argued briefly about having Ricky circumcised. Damon didn’t really know what it was and asked his father about it. After Damon and his father had gone to buy flowers and gifts for Sasha and the baby, he’d come back into the room during the middle of the discussion between Sasha and Amina.
“You don’t have to have it done,” Amina said. “But it is usually done to help prevent urinary tract infections and other potential problems. It diminishes the risks of some diseases and lowers the risk of sexually transmitted diseases like HIV.”
Sasha was all for it. She nodded her head and took the paperwork from Amina with a smile. Damon thought that it was incredible that Sasha was not wallowing on the bed in agony after what she’d gone through just a few short hours before. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to have sex again, he felt so inadequate. Child birth was the most intimidating thing he’d ever seen and he would never be able to measure up. Damon was queasy
