Swallowing with difficulty, she answered herself: Not a chance.
So what did that say about her and Kit?
By the time they were rattling down Windsor’s cobblestone streets, Rose’s stomach was roiling—and not from champagne bubbles. It was just after nightfall, and when they stopped in front of Kit’s mansion, it looked like a shadowy hulk beside the river. Only a few windows were lit. Rose hoped that meant Kit was still at work in the castle, giving her a few more minutes’ respite.
On his doorstep, a sister held each of her hands while Violet tapped the knocker. The door swung open almost immediately. Though they were greeted by the butler, Rose saw Kit poke his head out of the drawing room.
When their eyes locked, a surge of emotion slammed into her chest.
SIXTY-FIVE
“ROSE?” LIKE an apparition, she stood on Kit’s doorstep, stark and dramatic in blood-red silk. Bounding forward, he scooped her up in his arms, his heart swelling with relief. It was only after setting her away that he noticed the odd expression on her face.
And Bridgewater’s jewels on her ears.
All his tension came coursing back. “Why have you come? Is something amiss?”
When she’d failed to answer his last few letters, he’d tried to tell himself she was simply caught up in the bustle of wedding preparations and planning their Continental tour. But in his gut he’d sensed there was something else, and it had been a struggle keeping his mind on his work this past week. He’d nearly mustered the nerve to defy Lady Trentingham’s wishes and call on Rose himself.
She shot a glance at her sisters. “I just missed you is all,” she told him, but her smile appeared a bit strained. If she was upset, it seemed she didn’t wish to speak of it in front of them. “Lily and Violet stole me away from Trentingham for a surprise visit.”
His brows shot up. “Your mother doesn’t know you’re here?”
“I told her we were taking Rose to my house for a sleeping party,” Lily explained. “We planned to go on to Oxford this evening.”
“But then we got a rather late start…” Violet chimed in, blatantly hinting.
Rose gave her a sharp look. “I’m certain we can find an inn nearby.”
“I’ll not hear of it.” Realizing he was being rude, Kit moved aside to let them enter. “You’re perfectly welcome to stay here.”
“We wouldn’t want to intrude,” Lily said, ever solicitous.
“No trouble at all. I’ve plenty of room.” Lady Trentingham would undoubtedly disapprove, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.
“This place is stunning,” Violet breathed as they stepped inside.
“Goodness, yes, Kit.” Lily turned in a circle, taking in the tall entry with its stone walls, white ceiling, and black-and-white floor. “I thought the house you built for Rand was special, but this…” She peeked into the drawing room. “May we have a tour?”
Kit lifted a branch of candles and began walking them through the large house. Though anxious to speak with Rose alone, he found himself charmed by her sisters’ lively company. Many chambers hadn’t been used in weeks, as he found it wasteful to have the whole house lit each night just for him. Until tonight, he hadn’t realized how lonely the place was without Ellen.
Supper was ready by the time their tour ended. His cook had prepared a lovely venison pasty, but Kit hardly noticed what he was eating. Rose was seated on his right, and he was acutely aware of her pushing her food around on her plate. It seemed she hadn’t much of an appetite, either.
Supper was followed by port in the drawing room, and though it was still rather early, after one drink Lily and Violet made a show of yawning and proclaiming their fatigue. Kit had had three bedchambers prepared—there were plenty of extras, after all—and he called a footman to show them to their rooms.
While her sisters said their goodnights, Rose didn’t budge from her place on the couch. With relief and a twinge of apprehension, Kit refilled their two goblets and settled back into his chair to hear the true reason she’d come.
But it seemed she still wasn’t ready for that discussion.
“How is Ellen?” she asked instead, giving him an uncharacteristically shaky smile. “Her room looked so empty without all her things.”
“Indeed, it’s far less cluttered these days.” Kit sipped his port. “Ellen is fine, according to her husband.
“Her husband?”
“She still won’t talk to me. I’ve stopped by six, seven times—but she stares right through me.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Rose said, a little crease between her brows. She looked uncertain and fragile, which did nothing to ease his disquiet.
They sat in silence for a while, sipping port and listening to the fire crackling on the hearth. He waited as patiently as he could, sneaking only the occasional glance at her face. Her eyes inky and unreadable, she looked beautiful in the wavering light.
Beautiful and unhappy.
When she finally spoke, her voice came out stronger than he’d expected. “You lied to me, Kit.”
The bottom dropped out of his stomach. There was only one thing he’d ever lied to her about. “How did you—” he started, but then cut himself off.
Because it didn’t matter how she’d found out.
What mattered now was fixing this.
His insides wrenched painfully at the thought of losing her, and his hand moved to grip the chunk of brick in his pocket. Did she still want to marry him? He wanted to spring out of his seat and go to her, but sensed it was best keep his distance.
Taking a deep breath, he began again. “Rose, I’m so sorry.” Hearing how inadequate the words sounded, he bit back a sigh. “I didn’t want to lie to you, but your mother persuaded me it was for your own good.”
He winced. Well done.
In one single sentence, he’d managed to sound condescending and too cowardly to accept the blame for his misdeeds.
“That wasn’t what I…”
He was mucking this up but good.
Shaking his head to
