He grinned as though that was supposed to be amusing, and she smiled in return. But she sensed a sadness lurking beneath his good humor. There was so much more to Rand than his father was willing to see. So many admirable qualities. And underneath them all, that loneliness she’d glimpsed. That lack of a family who believed in him.
No matter what, she’d always have her family and their support. She’d never realized how lucky she was. Rand had made his place in the world, but he’d done it alone.
No one should have to be alone.
Her heart aching for him, she glanced toward him as they walked and found his gaze fixed to where she was absently rubbing the back of her hand. “How did it happen?” he asked.
Embarrassed, she waved the scarred hand dismissively. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, if that’s what you’re wondering. It happened long ago.”
“But how?”
Though he didn’t seem at all repulsed, she stared down at the thin white lines. The proof of her imperfection. “A cat. Not Beatrix. And it wasn’t his fault—I was teasing him. I learned to respect animals after that. All animals.”
“I cannot imagine you disrespecting anything.”
Something in his voice made a nervous laugh bubble out of her. “I try,” she said, “but I’m far from perfect.”
“You’re close enough to perfect for me,” he said very seriously. He stopped walking and took her by the shoulders to stop her, too, gently turning her to face him. “May I kiss you again, Lily?”
Her pulse skittered. His shirt had dried, and it billowed in the soft breeze. She wanted to lay her palms against the front of it and run them up to feel the warm, tanned skin revealed in the open placket.
But she couldn’t. And she couldn’t let him kiss her again, either. It didn’t matter that her lips seemed to be tingling with remembered anticipation.
She licked them. “Rose…”
A puzzled frown appeared on his brow. “Rose? What has Rose to do with this?”
She hesitated. They were standing beneath a tree, and a flutter of wings heralded Lady alighting above them. But Lady couldn’t help her, couldn’t protect her.
Only the truth could do that.
Holding Rand’s gaze, Lily took a deep breath. “Rose wants you.”
His lips curved in a crooked smile, and one hand drifted from her shoulder. He touched a fingertip to the little dent in her chin. “So you’re being a good sister, is that it? Let me tell you, Lily, Rose may very well want me. But I want you.”
He couldn’t, she thought.
Maybe he did. But he just couldn’t.
His finger traced a featherlight pattern on her chin, making her melt, making her crave his kiss even more. But this wasn’t right. She’d promised. She’d broken her promise twice already, and twice was two times too many.
While Lady twittered, Lily struggled to keep her head. “You’re so like Rose. You both sing, the languages…”
Her words trailed off. Lady flew to a lower branch.
Rand seemed to consider that line of reasoning for a long moment.
When he finally spoke, his tone was laced with quiet conviction. “Maybe I am like Rose. But I don’t want someone like me. I want someone to complete me.”
His voice was so deep, the sentiment so earnest, his eyes on hers so sure. When he leaned closer, when his hand slipped from her chin to curl around the back of her neck, when he lowered his lips to hers…all she could do was surrender.
And surrender felt entirely too good.
Slowly he backed her against the tree, his mouth working its magic. Her lips opened willingly this time, eagerly, her tongue reaching out in tentative exploration. His mouth felt soft but made hers burn with fire. She pressed closer, reveling in the feel of his hard, toned body against her.
Leaves rustled overhead as he moaned, deepening the kiss. An answering sound rose from inside her. His hand tightened on her nape while his other arm went around her, a clear bid for possession. He tasted of Rand, and she sucked in his scent, stronger and more heady following his run.
Her senses reeled, and a ripple of excitement began flowing through her, building toward a crescendo. It made her dizzy, made her knees weak, made her want more.
She arched her neck as his lips trailed down her throat. “Lily,” he whispered, her name a damp promise in the sensitive hollow. “I want you.”
Her eyes fluttered open.
“You cannot,” she said, afraid it was the same for her. She tried to pull away, fought to regain her senses. This was wrong. “We…we haven’t known each other long enough for you to know what you want.”
“Four years.”
“No,” she argued, biting her lip. Tears threatened, but she blinked them back. This couldn’t be happening. “Not four years. Not even a month. A few weeks four years ago, and nine or ten days now. Most of them spent apart.”
“Well, then,” he said quietly, so guilelessly she knew he believed it, “it must have been love at first sight.”
Love. The single word made her heart knot and grow heavy in her chest. Feeling his hands against her nape and her back, the humming warmth of his body against hers, she knew, without a doubt, that he really, truly did want her.
And she wanted him.
But Rose wanted him, too.
Blood pounded in her head, filled her ears, rocked her senses. He’d spoken of love—and if he loved her, Lily, then he’d never marry Rose, would he? What was the point of keeping her promise if Rose’s hopes were destined to be dashed either way?
For one single moment, she wanted, more than she’d wanted anything in her life, to break a promise to her sister. Then she gasped, appalled that she’d even had such a disloyal thought. Her word meant everything to her.
“I have to leave,” she said, echoing what he’d said a week earlier. And she turned toward Snowflake and ran, Lady flying after her.
