"Oh, Tris! I always noticed you, too."
He winced, as though her admission had hurt him. "I'm almost sorry to hear that. For you, sweetheart. There are circumstances…"
Sweet heaven, he'd called her sweetheart.
But he seemed to be struggling for words. She waited. And waited.
"We're not meant to be together," he said at last. "Your brother would never—"
"This isn't my brother's choice." Now that she knew Tris had noticed her, she wouldn't let Griffin or Lord Shelton stand in her way. She wasn't known for being stubborn for nothing. "I shall have a talk with him."
He shook his head mournfully. "Even in the extremely unlikely event that Griffin might agree, I cannot allow—"
"Hush, Tris." She turned her hand over beneath his and gripped his fingers, hard. "I won't listen to this." She searched his eyes for a moment, looking for understanding and failing to find it. Then, without thinking, she reached up and swept that single renegade lock off his forehead.
His breath rushed out, and all at once, something changed in that deep gray gaze. He stepped closer, and his scent overwhelmed her—that clean-Tris scent she'd noticed earlier in the day. "Alexandra," he murmured, the pads of his fingertips grazing her cheek.
His warmth enveloped her, warding off the chill night air. He cupped her face in his hand and angled his head as he pressed closer, his large, rangy body all but pinning her against the ancient stone wall. Closer, closer, until she could feel his breath teasing her lips.
She held her own breath. In fact, she wondered fleetingly if she would ever find the strength to draw breath again. Then his lips touched hers, and all thought fled for a long, glorious moment.
His kiss was tender at first, no more than a brush of mouths, his lips softer than she'd expected. Then his mouth settled on hers more firmly, demanding her response.
She sighed and leaned in to him, raising her arms to wind them around his neck, threading her fingers through his slightly too-long hair. His tongue traced the line where her lips met. When she parted them in surprise, he took immediate advantage, sinking his tongue into her mouth.
Shocked, she tensed, but as he probed gently, a languid shiver rippled through her. She'd never imagined such an intimacy. He slid a hand into her hair, cupping the back of her head and tilting it to make their lips mesh more completely, and she allowed herself to relax, lost in a sensual haze.
He explored her mouth as though intent on learning her, on owning her, on claiming every nook and cranny. In turn, she touched her tongue to his, tasting him and letting all the new feelings wash over her.
Had she ever been kissed before? She'd thought so…during her one long-ago season, several overwrought, hopeful men had somehow managed to maneuver a few seconds of privacy, enough to press their lips to hers. But now she knew she hadn't really been kissed, not a true kiss like this.
None of those kisses had made her heart pound. None of those kisses had made heat gather low in her middle. None of those kisses had made her lean wantonly in to a man as she was doing with Tris now.
Her behavior was scandalous, really. But she couldn't seem to help herself. And Tris's obvious response was her saving grace, for surely he wouldn't kiss her like this without the most honorable of intentions.
Soon, she thought dizzily, his surprising, thrilling words still swirling about in her head…I've thought about you for a long, long time…soon, he would be her husband.
He shifted, wrapping his arms around her, one hand against her upper back and the other down lower, drawing her tight against his hard, warm body. He pressed little kisses to her cheeks and chin and neck, pausing in the hollow of her throat, making new, tingly sensations dance along her skin. Close as he was, she was certain he could hear the pounding of her heart.
"Tris," she whispered.
"Holy Christ," he grated out.
When his hands fell from her body, her eyes flew open to find his closed. It seemed an eternity before he opened them.
She gave him a trembly smile. "That was nice."
"No." He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair raggedly. "It was most certainly not nice."
"Well, not in that way, perhaps," she said, confused. She drew a shaky breath and let it out. "But that cannot really matter so long as we…"
"So long as we what?"
"So long as we…"
He hadn't proposed, and she couldn't bring herself to do it for him. But as she watched and waited, she saw understanding dawn in his eyes. And then she saw his jaw set as he stepped farther back. "A kiss doesn't equal a marriage proposal, Alexandra."
His voice shouldn't sound so cold and resolute. He'd felt the same feelings she had; she was sure of it. "But I thought—"
"I'm sorry," he interrupted, looking sorry indeed. "I cannot marry you. There are circumstances…damn, I knew I needed to think about how to explain this." She watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "Please accept my sincere apologies. What I just did was unforgivable, but I can only promise it won't happen again. There's no chance I will ever take you for a wife."
SIX
"I SEE," Alexandra said and immediately turned to leave.
Though he knew he should elaborate, Tristan remained silent as he walked her back to her family. Along the wall walk, down the winding steps of the tower, and across the quadrangle, he cursed himself a dozen times. Alternately, he thought about how he should word his explanation. He needed to make her understand that his inability to offer for her hand fell squarely on his shoulders and had nothing to do with any inadequacy on her part.
And in between all of that, his mind kept flashing back to that one galvanizing moment when she'd reached toward him, when her
