But she couldn't marry James, because he would never love her. Like her mother, she'd be unhappy all her days. And the duke needed her, and he was very kind, and he was sending her flowers and falling in love with her. James and Amanda belonged together. They shared interests that Juliana didn't. They filled each other's needs.
Juliana's stomach didn't just feel queer anymore—it hurt. And she wished she'd never said she didn't know what to do, because she couldn't possibly explain any of this to James.
Fortunately, he interpreted I don't know what to do in an entirely different context. "It doesn't make much sense to walk all the way up again only to turn around and come back down." Edging her even deeper under the steps, he raised a hand and traced one finger in a shivery line down her jaw. "Don't worry about whether your aunt will see us. I'll watch for her and the others. And while we're waiting, we can practice kissing."
She'd known he would say that, hadn't she? And she knew she shouldn't agree. But she also knew she shouldn't insist he walk up all those stairs again or his poor leg would pain him even more.
"You don't need to practice kissing," she told him with no small amount of conviction. James had been married, after all. She hadn't known that when she'd first suggested he might need lessons, but she knew it now. He'd had practice. He kissed so well a woman would have to be daft to think he needed practice.
His finger lingered at the base of her chin, tracing little circles there, threatening to break her resolve. At the far end of the corridor, the door opened, admitting more people and a little light, just enough so Juliana could see James's gaze, which was so intense she could tell he knew exactly the effect his actions were having on her.
Oh, yes, he'd had practice.
The door shut, plunging the corridor back into darkness as the people made their way to the stairwell. "It's been a long time since I've kissed a woman," he said quietly, apparently reading her mind again.
"It's been less than twenty-four hours."
"But before that, it was a long time."
His finger continued down her throat, slowly, slowly. Wishing she could see him, she swallowed hard. "You're not going to unbutton, are you?"
His laugh was quick, low, and pleased. "No, I'm not going to unbutton here." His finger zigzagged down her chest, lightly, lightly, making every nerve in her body sing. "Practice with me, Juliana," he murmured as it disappeared into the little valley between her breasts.
She couldn't breathe. No man had ever touched her there, and now his finger was tracing up and down, making her heart pound and her breasts ache.
More people were coming down the corridor, but she couldn't seem to care.
"They cannot see you," he whispered, bending his neck, angling his head, lowering his mouth toward hers. "Will you practice?" His breath whispered across her lips. "Will you?"
And she let him. She whispered, "Yes." God help her, though he clearly didn't need practice, she allowed him to practice anyway. Just once. Or maybe twice.
She lost count.
His kisses were drugging. Little nipping ones at first, and then deeper ones, until she opened her mouth and invited him in. People went up and down the stairs overhead while his tongue tangled with hers in a dance so exciting it made heat gather low in her middle. His finger still played between her breasts, and his other hand pressed against her back, pulling her closer.
Her pulse raced, and her head swam, and she didn't want him to stop. She wanted him to kiss her forever. She wanted him to make her forget that she shouldn't be wanting him.
He shifted his finger inside her bodice and touched a nipple.
She sucked in her breath, breaking the kiss.
"I'm not unbuttoning," he murmured, rubbing the sensitive crest.
No, what he was doing was much more effective. It made the heat down lower more urgent. She rocked against him as he kept rubbing and kissed a tingling trail down her throat.
She feared her knees might fail. "James!" she breathed.
"Hmm?" He placed little damp kisses all across her low neckline, maneuvering his hand inside her bodice until he managed to free her other breast.
And his warm mouth closed over it.
"James!"
"Juliana, is that you?"
His mouth left her. "Is that you, Lady Frances?" He whirled around and started down the corridor while Juliana yanked her dress back into place.
More footsteps sounded on the stairs, growing closer. Juliana stepped into the corridor just as four dark forms made it to the bottom. "There you all are!" she said.
At the other end, James opened the door, admitting a shaft of light. "We were looking for you."
"We were looking for you," Frances said, blinking madly. Well, it was dim, and she wasn't wearing her spectacles. "Lady Amanda wishes to return home."
"I was dizzy up there," Amanda said.
Juliana had felt a little dizzy up there, too, but she felt much more dizzy now. Dizzy and confused. She followed the others out into Leicester Square. Her knees still felt shaky. Her breasts ached as though James were still touching them.
She wished he were still touching them.
Her stomach was hurting again.
James would never love her. He needed to kiss Amanda and marry her, or everything would be ruined.
"Where should we go now?" she asked.
"Parliament," the duke said.
James pulled out his pocket watch, opened it, and snapped it shut. "Good God, it's nearly four o'clock." Indeed, people were starting to stream out of the Panorama. "The two of us should definitely go to Parliament."
How in heaven's
