Like when he made that comment to his friend on the phone about me.
He didn’t think I was listening to him, but I was. I heard the tone of voice he addressed that little statement in. “That’s another story for another day,” or whatever he’d said. People didn’t think I paid attention, but I did. People didn’t think I’d call them out on things, but I did. Eventually. I always wanted to see the good in people. I always wanted to draw out the best in them. I always wanted to believe that if I gave them my all and invested my heart and soul into them, that the work would pay off.
That was what my father taught me growing up. If I invested my time and effort, I would always reap a reward.
For the first time in my life, I was now sitting in a place where that lesson wasn’t true. Where that childhood lesson I’d built my entire life on was no longer valid. It was shaking the very concrete I’d built my entire life on, and I felt myself flailing for help.
Only I couldn’t actually open my mouth and say the word.
“So, how’s your traveling buddy?” she asked.
“He’s not an axe murderer, so that’s good,” I said.
Colin shot me a perplexing look, and I grinned.
“Is he handsome?”
“Eh, he holds his own,” I said.
I could physically see Colin’s ears perk up at the conversation.
“Are the two of you getting along?” my mother asked.
“Depends on your definition of that, too.”
This time, he turned his body fully toward me, and I got a beautiful glimpse of his chest. It was broad, strong, prominent, but not overstated. His abs trickled down the front of his body before they tapered into these beautiful little pointers I’d traced with my hands just a little while ago.
I felt my breasts rising to life again, and I had to take deep breaths to keep myself under control.
“Well, just keep yourself safe,” my mother said. “But if the two of you hit it off, he’s more than welcome for Christmas.”
“Wait, what?” I asked.
I hadn’t told my mother about my breakup yet. I was waiting to sit down face-to-face and talk with her.
“Oh, sweetheart. I can hear it in your voice. I don’t know what’s happened, but I do know you’re hurting.”
I felt tears rising to my eyes, and I had to blink them away before Colin saw. The last thing I needed him to see was weakness. The last thing I needed him to see was something else to latch on to so he could bombard me with more questions.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I said.
Colin’s eyes were holding mine intensely, with his brow furrowed and his gaze stern. I could see the questions churning at the tip of his lips, and suddenly, I didn’t want to get off the phone with my mom. I knew the moment I did, there would be a flurry sent my way, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for them.
“Well, honey, keep us updated, okay? And keep that phone of yours charged. You’ve always been so bad about that.”
“I will, Mom. Tell Daddy I love him.”
“I will. We love you, too. We can’t wait to see you.”
“I can’t wait to see you guys, either,” I said.
I hung up the phone and tossed it to the side as my gaze peeled from Colin’s. I got up and tightened the bed sheet around me, trying to cover my exposed body. I felt a moment of self-consciousness roll over me. Like part of me was embarrassed at my prior actions. I knew I deserved to have a bit of fun after everything I’d endured up until this point, but a part of me couldn’t help but chastise myself.
I’d slept with a man I hardly knew anything about. A man that, up until the point I kissed him, was pissing me off more than anything else.
What kind of person did that make me?
“You look stressed,” I said. “Everything okay?”
“Just work,” he said.
“What happened?”
“I’ll miss a meeting, and if we can’t clear out of here quickly enough in the morning, I’ll miss a very important charity event as well,” he said.
“What’s so bad about that?”
“Besides the fact that it was my idea, and I’m supposed to give a speech?” he asked. “It’ll look bad on the company.”
“Well, I’m sure people would understand,” I said. “You can’t really control the weather. How were you supposed to know you’d get stuck in a snowstorm?”
“I did know. It’s why I tried to get out of the airport quickly the moment we landed. But I got held up.”
He threw a glance in my direction, and I felt my frustration with him quickly rising.
“It could always be worse,” I said. “We could be stuck here without power, or that flat tire could’ve rendered us immobile on the side of the highway. At least, we’ve still got running water and internet.”
“How in the world can you be so optimistic?”
His question confused me a bit as he threw an exasperated sigh my way.
“I mean, you’re just so happy,” he said. “All the time. How in the world could you possibly be like this all the time?”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” I said.
It was official. I felt exposed. Like a raw and throbbing nerve that had been sliced open and shown to the outside world in one fell swoop. I drew my sheet tighter around my body while I started quickly regretting my prior actions. I couldn’t believe I’d granted some rich little Grinch the permission to cloak my body with his.
What in the world was happening to me?
“Look, if I wasn’t,
