I wanted to tell her why I didn’t, hoping she would understand.
But I didn’t know how she felt about me. When I told her I missed her, she made a quip about missing my body. Maybe she was being guarded because I didn’t call, but maybe she was being serious. Maybe she didn’t feel for me the way I did for her. Maybe this was all just a convenient fling for a woman trying to piece her life back together.
And if it was, that was fine. But I wasn’t going to make myself look like an idiot or put her on the spot because I decided to let my emotions run my decisions. The truth was, I had no idea how she felt about me. One moment we were kosher, happy even, and the next minute we weren’t talking at all or were at each other’s throat with this passive aggressive bullshit I hated. She gave into me in bed, but there was this thin layer of distance between us anywhere else. A rift just big enough to make it dangerous for me to reach over and grab her hand.
I had no reason to believe she would even reach back for me if I tried.
Shaking thoughts of her from my mind, I opened up my laptop. I had an hour to prepare whatever I could for this first conference before I sent it over to Ted, who was probably checking his phone every ten seconds. My phone was dead and I had no plans to plug it in anytime soon. It was nice to have it not ringing off the hook for once.
Which was different, because that wasn’t how I usually felt.
Even still, I hadn’t always been the kind of guy that needed to be in constant connection with his work. I hadn’t always been the type of guy to spend the night in his office. I hadn’t started this company with the mindset that it would take over every single moment of my life. But that was the type of man my company had made me, and if I wanted to stay successful, I had to deal with it.
I typed away at a few things and perfected the presentation before I sent it off. I had just enough time to check myself in the mirror and change my tie to something a little more formal before I headed for the lobby. I crossed the street and slipped right into the conference building where Ted magically appeared at my side, and the look of relief that crossed his face made me grin.
“Stress sweating?” I asked.
“I’m gonna kill you, Colin,” he said.
“Did you get my email?”
“Yes, and I glanced over everything before I sent it to tech. Could you have possibly cut it any closer?”
“Maybe? Did you want me to?’
I turned to him with a smile on my face and watched him falter.
“You okay?” he asked.
“What?”
“You look—happy.”
“Seriously? I look happy and you’re asking me if I’m all right?”
“It’s just not a look we see on you regularly,” he said.
“What about the charity event over Christmas?” I asked. “I was happy then.”
“I figured it was just the Christmas spirit. And the fact that you probably got laid. Holy hell, did you get laid again? Is that why you’re so damn late?”
“You’re an idiot. I’m late because of the weather,” I said. “And now I’m here and ready for this conference.”
“You know you’re a keynote speaker, right?” he asked.
“Yes, I know I’m one of the main speakers. Calm down,” I said.
“Seriously. Did you get some? Because I’m not hating on you if you did.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I asked.
“Everyone is always telling you to calm down, that’s what I mean.”
“I’m just glad to be here. I wrecked a rental getting here because I pushed my luck with the weather. Just let me take a breath.”
“Okay. But I’m telling you, something’s different.”
I smiled and laughed at Ted before I made my way to the stage. People would be trickling in for the conference at any moment and I wanted to be out of their line of sight. I knew what had changed. I knew what was different. That was the effect Abby had on me. At Christmas, I regarded it as a fluke. But now? There was no denying it.
Abby, for all her flaws and frustrating personality traits, made me a better man.
I just didn’t know if I had the same effect on her as a woman.
Chapter 14
Abby
The hotel room was cramped, but nice. I had a little deck area I could venture out on whenever I had coffee, and if I’d had the time to have a cup I would’ve done just that. But, the conference was going to start in a couple of hours and I looked like a wreck. Waking up at six thirty was not a good look on me, and I was here representing Murphy, Inc. With Colin being a keynote speaker, I needed to look my best. Everything needed to be recorded and I had to have the first formal article submitted to my boss so she could turn it around to the press by the time the nightly news came around.
Plus, part of me wanted to look good for Colin.
I hopped in the shower and quickly washed myself down. I wrapped a towel around my hair before I dried my body off, then slipped into a pair of high-waist black pin-striped pants. I took the time to blow out my hair, giving it the voluminous lift it needed in the dry winter air of Kansas. I applied a
