Maybe this conversation would give me the gumption I needed to set a wedding date.
“Come in,” I said.
“Your mother gave me your address,” he said, as he stepped in. “I had to admit, I was shocked when I found out you were living in L.A.”
My mother didn’t give him shit, but that was okay. Now I knew he was going to lie to me and say whatever he needed to in order to keep me comfortable. But I wasn’t the idiot he had dated, and I was no longer blind to his piggish ways.
I sighed at my first sip of coffee as he turned around and smiled.
“Yep. Still a coffee drinker,” he said. “I always loved that about you.”
I choked on my coffee as that word pounded to the front of my skull.
“You said you wanted to talk. So talk,” I said.
“I miss you, Abby.”
I snickered as I shook my head.
“Why the hell are you really here, Derek?”
“I’m here to talk with you because I miss you,” he said.
“Well, I don’t miss you. So if that’s all, you’re free to exit the same way you came in.”
I watched his face melt into a puddle and I closed my eyes. He was trying to pull those lost little puppy dog eyes on me. Derek was the epitome of innocence. At least, that was what I thought. He was tall, lanky, a goofy weirdo with a funny personality. He had big hazel eyes and shaggy light brown hair. Pale skin and a gleaming white smile that had always made me weak in the knees.
And every time he flashed me those puppy dog eyes I had a hard time turning him down.
“Come sit with me,” he said.
“I never said you could sit down.”
But he had already made his way to my couch and was patting the cushion next to him. I could feel his pull and sense his desperation. I had no idea why he was here, but my curiosity was piqued. Part of me wanted to excuse myself and go call Colin, and part of me wanted to resolve this right here and now. When he walked out of this apartment, I wanted him to know where I stood, who I loved, and where my life was going. I wanted to look him straight in the eye and tell him he was no longer wanted.
So, against my better judgment, I sat down beside him.
“Listen, Abby.”
He reached for my hand, but I quickly pulled it away. I could see his eyes fall to my engagement ring. It flashed up at him as he sighed heavily, and a defeated look crossed his face. He lifted his face back up to me and his eyes were full of sadness. A sadness that punched me right in my gut as I wrapped my hands around my warm coffee.
My coffee would keep me rooted in reality.
My coffee wouldn’t allow me to fly away in this man’s eyes.
“I really fucked up,” Derek said.
“I know you did. I was there.”
“I came here in the hopes that we could work things out.”
“A bit too late, as you can see,” I said.
“Abby, the way I treated you was disgusting. Cheating on you and draining your accounts. I didn’t know what the fuck I was thinking. Listening to her over you was messed up.”
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah. Draining your accounts was Britney’s idea. I told her I couldn’t do something like that to you and that I didn’t even know if I wanted to be with her.”
“She moved in with you, Derek. How does it not get any clearer than that?”
“I admit, I was scared of the commitment. Merging our phone lines. Cosigning that car. Putting my name on your bank account. You supported me when I lost my job. Had it not been for you, I would’ve been starving and on the street.”
“And you repaid me with your actions,” I said, sarcastically.
“I was scared of the commitment, but I was manipulated by Britney. I have no idea how I’m going to get you your money back, but I’m trying. She ran off with it all and left me on the street for weeks before I found my way again.”
“She what?” I asked.
“Abby, I don’t—I don’t know what to say,” he said. “I didn’t come here for pity or to try and guilt you or—”
“Rest assured, I feel no guilt,” I said.
“I’m so sorry for the way I treated you.”
His eyes hooked onto mine as tears welled in his eyes. Mindlessly, I reached up and wiped a falling tear away, and he nuzzled into my touch. In a flash, memories resurfaced. Memories of us walking hand in hand in the park and talking about our perfect home. Memories of him holding my hair back when Britney and I got too drunk. Late night phone calls that resulted in shitty morning work shifts and passionate weekends spent tangled up in each other in bed.
We had all the time in the world for each other.
We knew each other, inside and out.
“Why?” I asked.
“What?”
“It’s been nine solid months, Derek. I’m engaged, for fuck’s sake. Why are you suddenly now wanting me back?” I asked.
“What makes you think this was sudden?” he asked. “The moment I stepped out of that apartment with Britney, I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. And for months, I’ve been scrambling to get back on my feet, right my wrongs, and track you down.”
“Track me down,” I said. “I thought you called my mother?”
“That’s tracking you down,” he said.
“Uh-huh.”
I pulled my hand back from his cheek quickly
