“Colin,” I said, as I reached for his hand. “Why the hell didn’t you just tell me that?”
He turned his hand up and cradled mine as he sighed and closed his eyes.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I guess—I’m just so used to handling everything on my own. I’ve never had to run things by anyone else. If something had to get done quickly, I just did it.”
“That’s not how it works in a relationship,” I said.
“Well, I’m learning that now, I guess,” he said. “The hard way. And what I said on the phone, I never should have let my anger control me like that. Next time, I’m going to be upfront and honest with you about what’s going on.”
“Thank you,” I said. “It’s a start.”
“Now, it’s your turn. Talk to me, please.”
“I haven’t, and that’s where I need to apologize. I’m mad at you for lying and keeping secrets, but I’ve been doing the same.”
“What’s going on, Abby?” he asked. “Do you not love me anymore?”
“That isn’t even the question,” I said. “I have somehow fallen in love with a total stranger.”
I watched his face morph into something akin to understanding, and that was a little shocking to me.
“I take it you finally saw my side?” I asked.
“Some things have been—brought to my attention. I may or may not have invited Ted out for drinks last night to pick his brain for advice.”
“I’m gonna kill Maggie,” I said, groaning.
“It was all good, don’t worry. If it helps, they’re on your side,” he said.
“We’re like strangers in the night, Colin. Two people who bonded over fabulous sex and a mutual frustration for weather patterns. But if someone were to ask me where you enjoy vacationing the most, or what you do in your spare time, I’ve got no answer for them. Because I don’t know any of this stuff about you.”
“Then we need to take the time to find out. Over dinner, or maybe we should take a vacation ourselves. I could take you to my favorite spot and tell you how it earned the title,” he said.
“I’m scared, Colin,” I said. “That’s really what this boils down to. I’ve uprooted my life. I’m in a city I don’t know. I’m engaged to a stranger who happens to be my boss, for a new job with certain complications. I’m twenty eight hours from home. It’s, I—”
Colin moved the pizza from between us and scooted closer to me. He wrapped me up in his arms and pulled me into a kiss. My heart fluttered in my chest as his hand cupped my cheek. I could feel the heat pulsing between us, covering our bodies in a warmth that soothed my soul. I melted into him. Into the way his tongue stroked my mouth. Into the way his hand slowly ran its way through my hair.
I loved the way he touched me, but we couldn’t bond on physicality alone.
“I’m scared that we’ve made a mistake,” I said, breathlessly.
“Did that feel like a mistake?” he asked.
“It takes more than sexual chemistry to make this work though, Colin,” I said.
“I’m willing to work on the other stuff. I really am. No matter how much work it takes.”
“It’s not just other stuff, Colin. It’s me. You don’t know me and I don’t know you.”
“Then give me time to get to know you, Abby. Give me time to learn how to spoil you. Give me time to walk you around the city myself instead of shuttling you in that car,” he said.
My fear was grabbing me tighter than Colin ever could. His kiss was wonderful, but it didn’t stop my mind from racing. I could hear Colin talking, but I couldn’t discern what he was saying. My entire body was being coated in fear, and I could feel myself trembling against him.
“I just wanted to talk with you. To be more candid with you. I can’t tell you why I’m so scared, why I’m so fearful. But I am, and right now I don’t know how to fix it.”
Colin withdrew, physically moving himself away from me as a look of defeat crossed his features.
“I can’t lose you, Abby,” he said.
“I’m not asking you to let me go. I’m just asking you to give me space. Especially now that you know why I’m asking for it.”
“Okay,” he said, nodding. “I can do that.”
He stood up from the couch and part of me didn’t want him to go. He weaved around boxes that were still packed, much to my embarrassment, and I chased him all the way to the door. I grabbed for his hand, my heart thinking before my mind could kick into gear.
Then I slowly dropped his hand once the voices in my head began to speak to me.
“Abby, look at me.”
I slowly lifted my eyes towards his, taking in the icy blue stare of this cold, rigid man.
“Sometimes, our brains can talk us out of the best things in our lives. When I started my company, it wasn’t from my mind. It was from my heart. I threw my whole life into it. I learned the trade, inside and out. I did it all that because I loved it, Abby. I still do. If you want any sort of proof as to what I can be if you drop your fear and let me in, then just look at Murphy, Inc. It’s grown and it works the way it does because every step I’ve taken in my business I’ve done out of love for it.”
I felt tears crest my eyes as his lips brushed against my cheek.
“Enjoy your pizza, Abby. I hope to speak with you soon.”
Then I
