I’m thankful we’re in the steaming shower when tears prick my eyes. I feel utterly cherished in this moment and I wonder if that was his intent.
No other man has made me feel this way, and I’m secure in the knowledge that I’m belong to him. Completely.
When he instructs me to tilt my head back to rinse, I follow his command and let the water soothe my scalp.
Andrew starts cleaning himself and I turn around to watch, transfixed by the sight. As the black paint leaves his skin, my eyes trail down his strong legs as their golden bronze color is revealed.
His dick is still semi-hard in the wake of what we did and staring at it only makes my mouth water. The aching between my thighs reminds me that he just left his mark there.
But I don’t care. I could take him again right now.
“See something you like?” he asks me teasingly, drawing my attention away from his lower half and back to his beautiful face.
He’s grinning at me as he coats his body in soap, his playfulness making him appear almost boyish. A warm feeling takes residence in my chest, making it hard to swallow.
But I manage a lazy smile before I pull open the door to make my escape.
Something has changed tonight and I can’t even pinpoint it because I’m not thinking with a clear head right now.
Wrapping a heated towel around my body, I force myself to focus clearing the lingering fog in my brain.
What has happened to me?
I’ll be the first to admit that it’s been a rocky week and my unsettled state could be a result of that.
But only partially.
There’s another piece of this puzzle that I’m determined to lock in place.
It started at the theater right after I let those teenagers have it for harassing that woman.
By the end of my tirade, I was actually feeling a little embarrassed for the way I blew up. It isn’t like me to be so rash in public. But I’d been on edge since returning from the Hamptons and their behavior was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I’d fully expected Andrew to be ashamed of my behavior but the look in his eyes when he walked up to me conveyed the complete opposite message.
His cobalt gaze was filled with something akin to pride and another emotion that I can’t name just yet, but it was there. And it had been enough to make hope swell in my chest.
Hope that made me envision a future with a man I was never supposed to have a personal relationship with, let alone fall in love with.
Thirty-five
LILAH
“What do you mean you haven’t told him yet about his estranged brother being your boss?”
Charli’s voice is too loud as we shift into downward dog in a studio full of sweaty bodies.
“I don’t know how,” I puff out, balancing myself on my hands and feet.
I’m not a fan of yoga as it is. But I absolutely hate hot yoga. How I let Charli talk me into it, I will never know. Even with her promise of wine afterwards, I’m questioning my sanity.
The participants around us are moving fluidly, bending like pretzels and it’s all I can do not to fall flat on my ass. We won’t talk about the close calls I’ve already had.
Beside me, Charli expertly twists her lithe body into the next pose the instructor calls out. As I try to mirror her stance, she shoots me a disbelieving stare.
“What do you mean you don’t know how?” she hisses.
“It doesn’t exactly come up in a normal conversation, Charli,” I tell her, fighting to hold my balance.
How the hell do people find this enjoyable?
“You make it come up!” she exclaims even louder than before. “What the hell, Lilah? Tell me you understand that this situation is a ticking time bomb. He’s bound to find out!”
Of course I already know this. But hearing it aloud only causes the panic seizing my chest to grow to astronomical levels.
So much for a relaxing yoga class.
I feel more on edge now than I did when I arrived.
When I catch an irritated glance from one of the students in front of us, I give a contrite look in return and turn to Charli.
“Let’s stick a pin in this conversation,” I suggest, halfway relieved that I get a few extra minutes to ignore the magnitude of my problems.
At the end of class, we wipe down our mats and grab our water bottles before heading outside. The sun has just disappeared beneath the horizon and the humid air from earlier is no longer stifling.
Trapped in the confines of Charli’s Range Rover, I can no longer escape her interrogation.
“Lilah,” she starts with a solemn sigh. “I love you. I really do.”
I wait for the other shoe to drop, because I know it’s coming. Whenever she opens a conversation like that, I know a nice dose of tough love is sure to follow.
Groaning, I slump in the passenger seat and stare at the people still filing out of the yoga studio.
“I know I’m asking for trouble. Believe me, I do. But it’s easier said than done, Charli. I was blindsided.”
If I confront Edward and tell him that I want out, I’m not going to get the funding for my project. Plain and simple. It makes my skin crawl to think that I could have done this all in vain.
“Well, how do you think Andrew’s going to feel when he finds out? Because trust me, it’s going to happen,” she tells me matter-of-factly, her voice breaking into my thoughts.
Bile begins rising in my throat at her words. The thought of losing Andrew is too much to bear. He’s the only bright spot in my days and if he isn’t around I don’t know what I’ll do without him.
Massaging the tension in my stomach away with my hands, I avoid Charli’s probing gaze like the plague.
“Oh my God,” she says studying my actions. “Are you
