***
I walk into the bar and spot Ben straight away. It isn’t hard. He is the only other person in there. Seeing me, he waves me over. There are already two beers in front of him. It’s classic Ben. It makes me realize how lucky I am to have a friend like him in my life.
“You look like shit,” he says as I sit down. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, I feel like shit, so it’s appropriate,” I say. I take the beer and down half of it in one go. The second half disappears as I take my second mouthful. “One more,” I say to the bartender.
“Okay, obviously something is troubling you,” Ben says. “Tell Uncle Ben what it is.”
So, I do. I tell him everything. I speak for a good twenty minutes, telling him all about Carrie. And not just what happened last night, but what led up to that. I tell him about how we met and the proposal. I tell him about the payment plan, and how I have fallen in love with her. And of course, I tell him about Lyndsey, and then Carrie’s plan to take my baby and run.
“Well, that’s a story,” Ben says as I finish. “You could make a movie out of that. Don’t you run a movie-making company?”
“Funny,” I say into my beer.
“So, what’s the problem?”
I am looking down at my beer, and as I hear his question, I slowly turn to face him. He must be joking. But his expression is serious. As if he truly doesn’t know what the problem is.
“Are you kidding?” I ask. “Were you not just listening?”
“I was. But unlike you, my friend, I saw the whole picture. The forest, not the trees, you might say. I can see things objectively. I can cancel out all the noise, color and drama, and focus on what is important.”
“Which is?”
“That you two love each other. You even said that she told you she loves you, right?”
“Well, yeah.”
“And you just told me that you love her, right?”
“Yeah, but—”
“So, what’s the problem?” He asks, throwing his arms in the air as if trying to exaggerate the point.
“She lied to me. She was going to steal my baby. She was going to use me for my money.”
“Was… is the issue still there. Not anymore. And besides, in Carrie’s defense, she did have some shady intel on you that she thought was real. Can you blame her for being pissed? Also, keep in mind, she thought you were a monster to her sister, and she forgave you anyway. She fell in love with you, regardless of what she mistakenly thought you did. If that isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.”
“I guess so,” I say, still unsure.
“And take it from a man who knows personally. Love is tough to come by. Few find it, and many who do usually fuck it up without realizing. They then spend the rest of their life wondering why they are alone. Don’t be that guy.”
“So, you think I should forgive Carrie?” I ask.
Ben is making some good points. And the more he speaks, the more I realize that I didn’t come here to complain, but to have my love confirmed. I do love Carrie. I just needed to see it.
“Of course, you should forgive her. And let’s be honest, you already have.” He winks at me. “But to be clear, I think you two are a little fucked up. You should probably sit down and have a normal conversation about all of this. But we both know this isn’t the end.”
I look at my friend with a newfound sense of respect. He has told me exactly what I need to hear to put things in perspective. His advice just kept me from making the biggest mistake of my life.
I can’t make Carrie leave. I love her, and if I push her away, I would regret it for the rest of my life. And I’ve been focusing on the wrong parts of Carrie’s confessions to me. She told me she loves me. I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to hear it.
Chapter 46
CARRIE
I love Blake, and he doesn’t love me. That’s all I can think about. My head, shoved into my pillow to soak up tears as they fall, is clouded with these terrible thoughts.
I have been crying all night, and now, all morning. I can’t stop. Not only did I sleep in the spare room last night, but I will have to sleep here until the baby is born. Maybe I should just go home? But if I do that, then I won’t be near Blake, and I can’t pull myself away. I love him too much.
I should have told him everything when I first found out. I should have asked him about my sister and the pregnancy and let him explain his side of the story. If I did, then I would have learned that she was never pregnant, that everything I thought about him was wrong. If I had, I would be in his bed right now, wrapped in his arms.
I think I hear a knock at the door, but I decide that I am just imagining it. Blake would not be coming to talk to me. Odds are, he will avoid me for the rest of the pregnancy and then kick me out the moment the baby is born.
There’s another knock. It’s louder this time.
“Yes?” I call. Perhaps it is Christina coming in to ask me to leave. I do my best to hide the sound of crying as I pull my face from the pillow.
“Carrie, it’s me. Can I come in?” It’s Blake.
I sit up quickly and do the best I can
