“You brought me out to Glendale to see you?”
“I knew you’d love it.” He winks and spins me around once more. “Ta-da!”
“Roller skating?” I laugh. “Wow, this is surprising. I haven’t done this since I was… well, very small.”
“What better way to get handsy in public without drawing a lot of attention?” Eric winks again and takes my hand.
We walk inside like it’s a date. We rent skates like it’s a date. We order cokes and cheese fries like it’s a date. He tells me jokes, real ones that make me laugh and snort soda up my nose. It’s so surreal, all of it, that I half expect the Cheshire Cat to pop up out of nowhere.
“Come on.” Eric pats my knee and jumps up. “Let’s go for a spin.”
“I’m going to have to cling to you for dear life. I am many things, but graceful is not one of them.”
“That’s exactly what I was hoping for.”
Those first few steps on the rink, full of teenagers holding hands and little kids zooming in and out on roller blades, are terrifying. The total loss of control makes my stomach drop to my knees, but Eric remains by my side, an anchor in this fast-flying world.
“I also dabble in hockey.” He pulls me back upright as I drop into accidental splits. “Wow, you really are terrible.”
“I’m a fast learner.” I shoot back, laughing at my embarrassing skating performance. “Give me time. I’ll show you.”
“Anyone who doubts you is an idiot.” Eric says it almost tenderly.
It’s hard to focus on skating because I’m so busy staring at him. To see if this is all real. But a few more laps around the rink, more falling, more splits and I forget to watch him. Instead, it’s stupidly fun.
No pretenses are required while roller skating in a room full of families and kids. There are no cameras, no sequins, no twenty-dollar cocktails. It’s just laughs and smiles and holding hands under a disco ball. It’s the best night of my life.
A Whitney Houston song comes on and the DJ announces time for couples skate. My thighs and calves are killing me, but Eric pulls me out for the song. He spins me around in front of him and holds me like we’re dancing. I panic, but he holds tight.
“Trust me.” He whispers.
So I do.
In his impeccably strong arms, he holds me up so we can dance through the song, even throwing in an occasional spin. We’re so close our noses touch but our lips never meet. It’s a never-ending tease, all this touch with no payout. I love it.
We shut the place down, enjoying the last bits of amazingly terrible nineties music and mirrored ball lights until they kick us out. The whole drive back, we laugh about the other people there, and, of course, my terrible skating.
“I told you, though, I’d come back in the end. Did you see my spin at the end? That was Oscar-worthy.”
“Put that on your résumé. They next time they need someone for a terrible roller derby movie, they’ve got their girl.”
“It’ll be my Cinderella story. From socialite to derby girl.”
“I could see you rock it. It’d be pretty sexy, too.”
Heat spreads across my chest and I look away so he can’t see the stupid grin on my face.
“I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun, Eric. This was easily one of the best nights of my life.” We are standing outside my apartment and I don’t want the feeling to go away. I want it to last the whole night and then some. “You want to stay for a while?”
Eric cups my cheek in his hand and grasps my hip with his other. He pulls me in for a kiss that makes my toes curl and my knees go weak. It is cliché and delicious and beautiful. It is exactly the lead in I want for a night of passion with him.
“I can’t.” He whispers against my lips. “I don’t want to use you.”
“Please use me,” I counter. “Use me hard.”
“You deserve more than that.” He kisses me again, softer this time, and taps my nose. “I’ll see you again soon, Derby Princess.”
I watch him walk away, held up by my front door. This evening was more than anything I could have hoped for, but it left my heart more twisted than ever. A darkening area of my brain knows this can’t go on and can spell ruin, but a bigger, brighter part wants to get lost in him and never find the way out.
I don’t know where to go.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
ERIC
A bright white envelope sits on my desk when I walk in Tuesday morning. Our interdepartmental envelopes are a disgusting yellow, so it’s not another note from Hazel in accounting. Her “memos” are nothing more than a thinly veiled plea for a date.
Not interested. Not with Kate in my life. Whatever is going on with her. I haven’t told a soul and don’t plan to. I don’t understand what happens to me when I’m around her, but I’m tired of fighting it. I’m tired of busting my ass in the gym and in the courtroom to sweat her out. It hasn’t worked.
Time to just embrace it.
“Sophie, do you know what this envelope is?” I call over my shoulder. “Who brought it?”
“No idea, Mr. Stevens.” She pops her head in the office. “Want me to ask around?”
“Nah. I’ll just have my coffee first. Wanted a jump on it.”
I pour a cup and study it. As a habit, I don’t like opening envelopes first thing in the morning. Anything could be in there, and I mean anything. A client’s ex once mailed me her used panties. Another time, an attempt at blackmail.
Never try to blackmail a lawyer unless you’ve got something really, really fucking good. That guy didn’t.
Caffeinated, I sit down and slice it open
