“Don’t you see? It was all going to work out.” He sounds like he’s pleading now, which is exactly what I want from him. I want Quinn to plead me and then I want to leave him on the floor, crying for me.
But my curiosity gets the best of me, like it always does.
“What was going to work out?” I can’t possibly imagine what he could be talking about. There is no good in Quinn, especially when it comes to me. He won, he should be happy about it, but the fact that I hit upset him bothers him even more than I thought it would.
He acts like an angry god and his only goal is to ruin me. The best thing for me to do is stay as far away from him as possible to try to protect myself, but there’s something about him that sucks me in. I fee connected to him in a way I haven’t felt with other people before, certainly not with a boy before.
We’re planets, caught in orbit together. As long as we keep moving then we’re going to be okay, but as soon as one of us slows down or changes then we’re going to crash and burn.
I guess I didn’t realize this until just now, and the look on his face tells me that I royally fucked up.
Instead of answering, he just shakes his head. “I was going to fix it,” he pleads, his eyes cold and hollow. He’s always had a spark behind his eyes, but now he just looks tired. “I was going to fix it.”
***
There’s no way that I can believe him. That’s what I’m telling myself. I’m sprawled on my bed, listening to the radio and trying to ignore the way his face twisted when he looked at me. There’s just something about Quinn that’s managed to get under my skin, and I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to be able to get him back out.
He’s the last person I expected to feel anything for, but the look on his face and the way he pleaded with me, the words falling from his mouth like he was powerless to stop them gives me pause.
Maybe he was planning to do something to help me.
Or maybe, and this is a lot more likely, if I’m honest with myself, he just was trying to fuck with my head again and trying to make me think that he was on my side.
It’s not like Quinn has ever been really forthcoming with me, so for me to believe him is…well, it’s hard.
Impossible.
Unlikely.
Something I really, really want to do.
So what does that say about me? I’m attracted to the person who calls me little cunt and made a bet with me on my virginity?
It says that I’m pretty damn fucked up.
***
Sighing, I roll over and click off my radio. The rest of the dorm is silent since everyone’s asleep. And well they should be – it’s 2 am and I can’t still my thoughts enough to shut down for the night. All I know is that this is getting really, really old and that something has got to give if I’m going to make it through the rest of the year.
Just as my eyes are starting to feel heavy, there’s a soft rap on my door. My eyes spring back open and my heart starts to pound in my chest. Whoever is visiting my room at this time in the morning can’t be up to anything good, and I roll over, propping myself up on my elbow to stare at the door.
Nothing else happens.
Cursing to myself, I slide off of my bed and walk to the door. I have the security chain engaged, but Trinity Prep didn’t put peepholes in the doors, so I can’t look out to see if there’s anyone out there. Taking a deep breath, I count to 5, and then unlock the door.
I haven’t even opened it yet, but my ears are straining to hear any sound from in the hall.
Nothing.
My palm is sweaty as I turn the handle and open the door a few inches. I’m not sure that the tiny chain across the opening could protect me if someone decided to try to knock my door down, but I’m counting on it.
Even though I can’t see all the way down the hall, I don’t think that there’s anyone there. Everything is silent, and I reach up to disengage my chain, praying the entire time. Just as I slip the chain from its holder, though, I look down and see something sitting on the floor.
There’s a box with a lid tightly on top.
It could be anything. It could be from anyone.
Moving quickly now, I slip the chain and grab the box, pulling it into my room before slamming my door shut and locking it again. The box was heavier than I thought it would be, and I turn to stare at it, trying to work up the nerve to open it.
Finally, I do, and I lift the lid, holding my breath.
It’s food.
The box is absolutely packed with food. It’s not just fresh food from the cafeteria, like apples and bananas, but also boxes of crackers, chips, and even some cookies.
My mouth waters, and before I can stop myself, I grab a bag of chips and rip it open, stuffing them into my mouth. I’m so hungry that I could easily finish the box, but I stop myself after one bag and look for a note.
The thought that this was an elaborate trick to make me sick runs through my mind, but I push it away. I can’t believe that. I need this food.
I just wish that I knew who it was from. My best guess is Madeline, and I smile to myself before crawling back to bed. There’s got to be a way for me to thank
