I looked toward the party where the music was getting louder along with the voices and the laughter. I winced at the mere thought of going back into the fray.
“Come on,” he said again, a hint of amusement warming his voice. “I promise I don’t bite.”
“Don’t you need to give someone else a ride?” I prayed he couldn’t hear the note of desperation that had slipped through. I couldn’t do a battle of wits right now. I couldn’t pretend.
Please don’t make me drive alone with this guy.
“Didn’t you come here with someone?” I asked.
He shot me a sidelong look. “I came here with you, remember? You were my date…or so I thought.” His confusion was totally feigned. He was so not a good actor. “Weren’t we supposed to be here together?”
He knew as well as I did that I hadn’t considered this a date. He might have been fooled before, but I’d shown my cards back there in the woods.
Which was fine. I was done with acting.
Hannah’s advice was hitting home. He couldn’t win if I didn’t play. I might not get revenge, but he wouldn’t get his payday so…that was something.
He was waiting for a response so I shot him a glare. “You know what I meant.”
His short laugh held no amusement, just disdain. “Yeah, I knew what you meant. I gave Simone a ride here but she’s sleeping over at one of her friend’s houses tonight so…” He held his arms out wide. “I’m all yours.”
“Lucky me.” I muttered it under my breath, but I knew he’d heard me.
12
Two Years Ago: The Beginning of the End
Rose
A wad of condoms landed on my vanity as I finished getting ready for tonight’s date with Jax. I stared at them in horror, mainly because of who’d just tossed them my way. “What’s this?”
My mother hovered in the doorway, a glass of wine in her hand, despite the fact that we hadn’t even had dinner yet. She’d been day drinking for the last three days, ever since the latest boyfriend dumped her for someone younger.
She winked when I looked her way, but there was no amusement in her smile. Only mockery. “In case you get lucky.”
Ugh.
Leave it to my mom to ruin the giddy excitement I’d been reveling in as I got ready for tonight. Our first date.
Well, our first real date.
The first time it was just going to be me and Jax out on the town.
Well, not exactly out on the town. But we were going to the diner. Together. We’d arrive together—like a real couple. And then we’d go to the party that Ryan was telling us about at school the other day.
My head was still spinning from our kiss the other night and I’d been dying to see him again ever since.
Especially because… No, I wouldn’t worry about it. Not tonight.
Sure, he’d been a little standoffish in his texts this weekend, but texts were texts. Hannah had made an excellent point that it was useless to try and read tone in a text.
Even so…
“What’s wrong?” My mom’s voice jarred me out of my worries. I hadn’t even realized she was still standing in my doorway—the freakin’ wino harbinger of doom.
“Nothing.”
“Pshh.” She made a scoffing sound that was filled with disdain. “You two lovebirds breaking up already? That’s a record…even for you.”
I glared at her. I didn’t even know what that meant.
Didn’t matter.
I turned back to the mirror to curl my hair, ignoring the condoms.
“Good,” she said. “It’s for the best. You’re too young to have a guy distract you from your plans.”
I ignored her. She was always mean when she drank and it was clear she was just now warming up to her topic. She waved her glass, and I cringed as I watched the red liquid slosh dangerously. “There’s no way I’d let a boy like that ruin your future. Now if it was a boy from a good family, from the nice area of town…” She let out a cackle at her own joke.
Which wasn’t really a joke.
Which made it that much more depressing.
She was already on me to land a rich boy, as if I wanted to land any boy.
Except maybe Jax.
I froze for so long that the sizzle and smoke from the curling iron jolted me back to the present and I tore it away from my scalp before I burnt off a freakin’ lock of hair.
My mom was still talking, but I didn’t hear her. I was used to tuning her out when she was in a post-breakup slump. She got nastier than usual and much as I didn’t love her digs about my weight and my complexion, that was nothing compared to the pity I felt.
There was nothing worse than pitying your own mom, but I couldn’t help it. She was just so pathetic. She let guys use her. She made them the center of her life; she gave up her own dreams and ambitions…and for what?
So that they could walk away when they got bored?
I had a sudden flash of the way Jax had all but run out the door after that epic kiss. The way he’d avoided me in the halls on Friday. Of the weird one-word responses to my texts this weekend…
I swallowed a thick lump as I reached for the hairspray. I held my chin high, because there was no way I’d let my mom see how much her words had hit home.
I’d never let her see that she was right.
But more than anything…I’d never become her.
I’d go tonight. I’d enjoy the hell out of my first real date. I’d take as many kisses as I could and store away each and every memory.
One week. I’d give myself one week and then I’d end it…
I’d walk away before he ever could.
13
Rose
It was with weary resignation that I followed Jax to his car and got in, making a production out of turning on
