Sonia turned to another entry.
A TV set! How can they? I had told them at the time of the marriage that I was dead against dowry and that they would have to accept me as I am! And I remember what Parmeet had said to me then. That he hated the word dowry! So then, what is this? Surely Ma-in-law does not expect me to ask Papa to buy a TV set for Parmeet? I’m not going to do that! They’ll soon see that it’s useless making such demands on me…
Parmeet discovered the photo. It was a little awkward explaining it to him, but I think he understood that I had kept it for old times’ sake. For the sake of friendship. But now that I think of it, because of the atmosphere here, it would be wise to get rid of it. Because Parmeet may understand, but I’m positive his parents won’t! It will only be added ammunition for them against me.
I have such a strange feeling. As if someone is following me around constantly. Is it only a figment of my imagination or am I really being followed?
Sonia turned to the final entry in the diary. It was dated the day of Vidya’s death.
The feeling of being constantly watched is so strong… I’m convinced now that I’m not imagining it. On the streets and even through my bedroom window. A couple of days ago, while I was arranging my cupboard in the afternoon, I even caught a glint of glass from across the street. Strange… Even as I write this, I feel as if I’m being watched. No, I’m sure that I’m being watched. As soon as I finish writing, I’m going to turn off the light.
I had a fight with Ma-in-law again, a moment ago. It’s a car now, and that’s the last straw! I could have borne it. The humiliation of being treated like a source of income. The insults and bad words. Everything - if only Parmeet was not a part of it all. He doesn’t cross his parents or argue with them, and he doesn’t side with me, either. He’s weak and he escapes into his bird-watching and he makes me feel like an outsider. Why, why can’t he see how much I love him? Why can’t he love me back instead of giving in to the pressures of his family? I feel so tired. What with this constant harassing and the medicine, I feel as if I’ll never get through this! It’s all my fault, Renuka would say. For not standing for my rights. For not fighting back. But how can I explain to her that it’s not easy to fight someone you love? It’s so easy to break up families, but so terribly difficult to hold them together. I’ve wanted my family to feel that I’m a part of them, not an outsider, someone who brings them gifts. But is it too late now? I don’t know. I need Parmeet to help me. I have to make him see that a wife is a companion, a friend, and a lover. Oh God, please help me to be strong, to face this difficult phase in my life…
A small blotch had smudged the words towards the end. Vidya had been crying when she wrote the words. Sonia paused at this point, brushing away the tears gathered in her own eyes. Poor Vidya. So many hopes and expectations and dreams dashed away forever! Had Vidya written these words minutes before she died? Minutes before she was killed? She died with a prayer in her heart…
Sonia felt restless and heavy in the heart. Regret was fast overlapped with anger. Vidya need not have died. If only she had been more alert, more careful. If only she had been less misguided by emotion and love! If only Renuka had approached Sonia earlier. Even yesterday. Instead of celebrating her own birthday, Sonia could probably have saved a life…
Stop it! she admonished herself. None of this was her fault. And she wasn’t being sensible creating a halo of regret and guilt within herself. If she wanted to help Vidya at all, she had to find out who had murdered her.
Jatin entered the room.
“What is it?” Sonia asked.
“There’s a guy outside - name Kartik - who says he’d like to see you urgently. It’s something to do with the Vidya case.” “Really? Would he fit the bill?”
Jatin nodded. “I think so. He could be the guy Vidya’s Mother-in-law mentioned.”
“Send him in.”
Sonia’s gaze took in the tall, lanky man as he entered her office. A dark short beard which lined his firm jaw matched his unkempt hair. His black eyes rested anxiously on Sonia. With a jolt she recognised him as the man who had recited poetry in the restaurant the previous evening.
“Please, sit down,” Sonia told him. “What can I do for you?”
“You can catch Vidya’s murderer!” Kartiks eyes flashed.
“You are…?”
“I’m Kartik. I was there when you were talking to Renuka and then to the Policeman. I had to meet you! You see, I loved her a lot. Always did and always will. ” His eyes moistened. “But that’s not the point. You simply can’t let those awful people go scot-free!”
Sonia observed Kartik with narrow eyes. The young man looked distraught. Somehow his open declaration of love, did not surprise her. But
