He stabbed her with his narrowed gaze. “And what?”
“Anniversaries are for marriages, things like that, not a car wreck. It’s not productive to look back like that.”
“So you never look back and wonder what your life would be like if something didn’t happen?”
His question caused Tory to suck in a deep breath. “Not if I can help it. Is that what you’re doing? Wondering what your life would be like if the wreck had never happened?” She hadn’t wanted the wreck ever to happen, either, but she couldn’t keep the hurt from lacing her words.
“I was thinking about how different Mindy’s life would be if she hadn’t been in the wreck, if I had paid more attention and been able to avoid the truck.”
“No matter how much you beat yourself up over this, accidents happen.”
He turned toward her, lines creasing his brow. “You don’t understand! I was arguing with Carol about her going back to work. I should have been paying better attention. The last words my wife and I exchanged were said in anger.”
Until Slade came to terms with his wife’s death and the wreck, there was no chance for their marriage to work. She saw it in the pain that shadowed his eyes. She heard it in the anguish reflected in each of his words. She wanted to take him into her embrace and hold him close to her heart. She wanted to erase the ache he felt and replace it with hope. “She knows how you really felt.”
“I broke my own rule. I never fought with Carol in front of Mindy. That day I did. I was tired, having put in a long day of negotiations with the union.” He pivoted away, staring again at the horses. “I don’t think my daughter remembers much about that day. But if she ever remembers the argument I was having with Carol, she’ll blame me.”
The torment in his voice shredded her composure. Tears clogged her throat. She stepped toward him and laid her hand on his shoulder. The muscles beneath her palm bunched. “Mindy loves you. Nothing is going to change that, Slade.”
“I was driving and I walked away. No one else did.”
She placed her other hand on his other shoulder. “Let God into your heart. Let Him heal you.”
“What if you’re too broken?”
As though they had a will of their own, her arms wound about him and she laid her head on his back. Too broken? She’d thought that at one time, lying in the hospital bed after her date had assaulted her physically and emotionally.
“No one’s too broken for God to fix.”
He straightened away from the fence, cupping her clasped hands. The quick rise and fall of his chest underscored the emotions churning inside him. Turning within the circle of her arms, he lifted her chin so his glittering gaze could seek hers. “I can’t ask Carol for her forgiveness.”
“Then ask God.”
“I’ve forgotten how.”
The sound of his voice, heavy with emotions, filled her with sorrow. Tory splayed her hand over his chest, feeling the rapid beating beneath her palm. “It’s simple. Ask from the heart.”
He plunged his fingers into her hair, loose and about her shoulders the way he liked it, and cradled her face between his hands. “You’re an amazing woman.”
“Slade, you are not to blame for what happened. Carol wouldn’t want you to waste your life agonizing over something you can’t change.”
“Ah, your motto. Forget the past.”
“Learn from the past but move on. You can’t change what’s happened, but you might have some control over what is to happen.”
One corner of his mouth lifted. “That’s why I’m focusing all my energy into making sure Mindy recovers.” His hands fell away from her face.
She missed the warmth of his palms against her cheeks. For a few moments she’d felt connected to Slade. Now she felt the distance as he stepped back against the fence. “Mindy is recovering.” But was he? He might not have been physically hurt in the wreck but he was emotionally. Would he ever heal? The brightness and hope of their future as a married couple dimmed.
“I know. I just want it to have happened yesterday. Patience has never been my strong suit.” He took her hand and started for the house. “I could learn some from you. I’ve seen you with your students, with Mindy, with your horses. You have a great deal of patience. Want to share some with me?”
“I’m gonna need all I have to get through this carnival. I forgot what a big deal it was. The next few days will be hectic and I still have to see to my horses.”
“Not to mention your family coming tomorrow.”
“You don’t mind, do you?”
He stopped at the bottom of the steps up to the front porch. “The question is, will your family mind? It’s gonna be crowded here.”
“Don’t worry about them. Judy has a camper. The kids are going to stay out there while the adults are staying in the house.”
“There are only three bedrooms, Tory.”
“Oh.”
With all that had been happening, she hadn’t stopped to think about the sleeping arrangements. Three couples. Three bedrooms. That should be simple and it would be if she was sharing a bedroom with her husband.
“How do you want to deal with the situation?”
His question brought her anxiety to the surface. Share a bedroom—a bed with Slade. Or, tell her family about her arranged marriage. “I don’t know,” she finally said, searching the dark shadows of his face for some kind of answer. In his blue eyes she saw support and comfort and drew strength from that.
* * *
“Ju-dy! Tor-ee!”
“I think the children found us.” Judy brought the glass of lemonade to her lips and took a long drink.
Three heads appeared around the corner of the barn followed by three bodies. Ashley, Jamie and Mindy surrounded Judy and Tory. She and her sister were sitting in the shade of the barn, but it was still hot, the sun still
