Watching themplay in a bar would certainly brighten up her weekend. It couldn’tpossibly hurt. Besides, she needed a little cheering up. Ever sincethe Jax incident the other day, she hadn’t been able to shake offthe melancholy.
“Ah, fuck, why do females always have a way of breaking upbands?” Crispin complained, absently staring in Becky’s direction.Catching himself, he gave his head a quick shake.
“What is it, love?” Kell asked with a furrow to hisbrow.
“Oh… never mind, it’s not important.” She shrugged, avertingher eyes.
“Right then, see you all tonight.” Dorian gathered up histhings and walked out the door.
Moments later,Crispin followed suit and took off, leaving Becky and Kell behindin the kitchen.
The moment theywere alone, he turned to her. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”Kell asked, still unconvinced. She had said she wasn’t sick, butsomething in her posture gave him cause to worry. Just to be sure,he placed his hand on her forehead again.
“I’m fine, really.” She leaned into his palm when he pressed itagainst her cheek. She loved it when he was like this. She wasalmost tempted to lie and pretend to be sick, just to have him lookafter her.
“Tell me the truth,” he said, looking into her eyes. He couldtell something was bothering her.
Becky had neverbeen good at hiding her feelings. She might hide in her room, buther feelings, she wore on her sleeve.
He really hopedshe wasn’t still upset over that idiot, Jax. She hadn’t brought uphis name since, and neither had he. God help him if she was stillpining after the miserable prick. He wasn’t sure if he could handlethat.
Unable toignore the misery reflected in her eyes, he couldn’t help but ask.“What’s on your mind, love?”
“Lonely, I guess,” she whispered at a loss. It was the honesttruth, though. Who else could she talk to, if notKelley?
“You miss your granny,” he stated softly, recognizing thesentiment behind her words. She nodded into his palm. “Aw…Becky.”
Grabbing anearby chair, he sat down by her side and put his arm around her.If anyone knew anything about mourning the loss of a loved one, itwas him. Years later and he still hadn’t fully accepted the deathof his family.
“I don’t want you to be late for class, Kelley.”
“Never mind that. I’ll get there when I get there. What can Ido for you?”
“I just feel so alone sometimes,” she confessed.
“Love, if you ever need to, you can come to me.” He caughthimself before he could say what he most wanted, that she was morethan welcome to sneak into bed with him like she usedto.
It was duringthose times, in the quiet dark of his room when he felt he couldlet his guard down. They could just simply hold each other, and notfeel quite so alone.
God, he missedthat. He often wondered why she’d stopped coming. Maybe if hadn’tbeen such a bastard to her…
“I think I know that,” she said, blinking back a stubborn tear.“Sometimes, though, I just don’t feel like I belong.”
“Belong where?” he asked, stroking her waywardcurls.
“With you guys.”
“What? But why not?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “You all come and go whenever youfeel like it.” She paused for courage. “I never get to go outanywhere because it’s always dark out, and you’re all so busy.Other than back and forth to class during the day, I’m always stuckhere at home.”
“I’m sorry, Becky.” Her admission cut him to the quick. “Youknow you can always ask me to take you wherever you need togo.”
“But I don’t want to keep bothering you.” She frowned, lookinginto the dark abyss of his eyes. “Besides, I don’t have anywhere togo. It’s not like I have any real friends other than youlot.”
“Becky…” If she had kicked him in the teeth, it would have beenless painful than the guilt her confession caused him. How could hehave been so insensitive?
Because he wasa selfish, self-centred ass, that’s why! His father had been rightall along.
“You never invite me to come see you play, not even for bandpractice.”
He slowlynodded with understanding. “Love, is that what this is all about?”This he could handle. If all she wanted, was to come out with them,he didn’t see the harm in it. “You want to come watch us tonight,at the club?”
She nodded.“Well, yes, but I don’t think Crispin…”
“The fuck with Crispin,” Kelley said with a smile. “What doeshe care if you come watch?”
“I don’t know. He seemed quite adamant about females breakingup bands. I just assumed he didn’t want me there. Besides, you guysnever let me watch you practice.”
“Let you?” Kelley’s voice rose an octave. “You don’t needpermission to do anything around here. You’re always welcome tojoin us.”
“Still, it would be nice to be invited now andthen.”
“Aw… love, you’re absolutely right.” He paused, inwardlykicking himself. I guess, I just assumed you weren’tinterested.”
Meeting eachother’s gazes, they both broke into fits of laughter. “What is itthey say, love?” Kelley drew her in close and rested theirforeheads together. It was all he could do to keep from kissing hersilly.
After a boughtof the giggles, Becky finally pulled herself together long enoughto recite, “Never assume, because when you assume, you make an assof u and me.”
“Ain’t that the truth…”
Chapter 20
Having thehouse to herself, Becky took advantage of the quiet time to work onher art history assignment. She brought all her books to the diningroom, gave the old table a good dusting, and set herself up.
She stillcouldn’t get over the fact that they never used this room. It was areal shame because it was such a lovely old table with six chairsto match.
She had oncesuggested they use it, but the Goths didn’t see the point. Thekitchen was good enough for them.
Perhaps theywere right, though. They only ever really gathered around forbreakfast. Lunches were eaten at the diner, and quite often dinnerwas left on the stovetop for whenever anyone wanted it. Usually,Dorian whipped something together like Mac and Cheese, or Mr.Noodles. More often than not they would order pizza and eat whilewatching television.
Snapping out ofher directionless musings, Becky focused her
