“Aw… Becky, excuse my French, but why the fuck would I mind?”He tugged her back between his knees for a heartfelt hug and kiss.“This is perfect.”
“It’s redeemable anytime,” she remembered to say. “We can gowhenever is good for you.”
“Oh, Becky…” He continued to smile into her thoughtful gaze.“Is tomorrow too soon?”
Chapter 48
New Year’s Evemorning, Dorian arrived in the room where the housemates painted todiscover Crispin staring into a blank canvas. This was not initself unusual except for the fact that the forlorn Goth had beenstaring at that same blank canvas with that same blank expressionon his face for two days straight.
Coming to standbeside him, Dorian glanced back and forth between Crispin and thecanvas. “What’s up, Crisp?”
As thoughwaking from a trance with much reluctance, Crispin let out a heavysigh and walked towards the window, facing the front yard.
“As it would appear, nothing much.”
“Come on, Crisp, they’ll be back soon enough,” Dorian said witha smile.
Crispin maydeny it all he wanted but everyone knew how fond he was of hislittle dormouse. As much as he liked to pretend he was untouchable,he was in fact, the opposite.
“Who? What are you talking about?” Crispin asked with afrown.
“Becky, your little dormouse. Go on, admit it. The separationanxiety must be draining you of all your creativejuices.”
“Piss off, Dorian. What do you know about it?” Crispin scowled.“As far I’m concerned, we’re better off without that silly littlesqueak of a girl running around underfoot.”
“Right…” So much for the holiday spirit.
Apparently allgood cheer had left the House of Goths, the moment Kell and Beckywent off on their getaway.
“You say that now, but watch it or it may justhappen.”
“The fuck are you talking about?” Crispin visibly blanched ashade paler, as impossible as it seemed.
“See?” Dorian teased, turning his attention to his latestsketch. “You do miss her.”
“Fuck off, you,” Crispin snarked, realizing he had been caught.Dorian, the smart ass that he was. As fond as Crispin was of thequick-witted drummer, his unrelenting good mood, sometimes wore athis patience.
“Hey, where are you going?” Dorian asked when Crispin turnedand stormed off.
“Away from here,” Crispin muttered, reaching for his car keys,nearly crashing into Keegan. The sleepy Goth had just stepped downfrom his recently reclaimed bedroom.
“What the… watch it, man!”
“Never mind him,” Dorian said.
“What’s his dilemma? Is he still messed up overGracie?”
“Nah, I don’t think so. Although I’m sure it doesn’thelp.”
“Then what?”
“One can only guess. I suppose he’s in a huff again thismorning.”
“Again? He’s a moody bastard, I’ll give you that, but heusually comes around. This last little while, though, I don’tknow…”
“He’s missing Becky. I’m sure that’s all it is.”
“I miss her too, and so do you, but we’re not losing our shitlike he is, are we?”
“No, I suppose not.”
“She is coming back, Becky and Kell. They both are. They stilllive here,” Keegan reasoned.
“Yes, but Crispin’s different. You know how he is. He getsattached to people he cares about. He has difficulty keeping thingsin perspective.”
“True, he hasn’t quite forgiven me for taking off. I suppose hemight never.”
“No, I wouldn’t expect him to.”
“Damn…”
“Yes,” Dorian said, leaving Keegan to hisconscience.
Chapter 49
Without furtherado, Crispin set out to take care of something he had been avoidingfar too long. Parking his car, he felt for the bracelet in hispocket, finding the gift intended for Gracie. A gift which hadnever been given. What would have been the point? He should haverealized it the moment he bought it.
At the time,though, Becky had weaved her magic and filled him with hope. Hesmiled forlornly at the memory of the day they had spent shoppingon this very street. The look on the little dormouse’s face when hehad purchased the bracelet had been enough to fill his misguidedheart with the poison that was hope. Oh, that he might inspire thatsame look on the face of a lover.
Unfortunately,once again, his fleeting brush with hope had been misplaced. Themoment he had come to his senses, he realized he had deludedhimself. Gracie was not Becky. He was not Kell. And theirrelationships could not be more different.
With a resolutesigh, he got out of the car and approached the quaint littlejewellery shop. Before he went in, he stopped and stared into thefront window, gazing absently at the sparkly rings on display.Becky had said a ring would mean the world to her. What he hadn’trealized at the time was that he felt very much the same. In fact,the realization had finally hit him when witnessing Kell givingBecky a ring on Christmas morning. The look on her face… on boththeir faces nearly destroyed him.
He had fooledhimself into believing that he could have the same with Gracie.Truth be told, he wasn’t even in love with her. He liked her, herespected her, they had awesome chemistry but there could benothing permanent between them and he had known that all along. Shehad been upfront about her feelings from the beginning. She was notto blame. In fact, he was to blame. He had let his guard down. Hehad allowed himself to become vulnerable; a fatal mistake on hispart.
Being aroundBecky and Kell, watching them bond, witnessing love blossomingbetween them had opened his eyes. He wanted the same. Yet herealized he could never have it. He was not Kell. No, he wasCrispin. Crispin Clover, of no fixed address, tossed around fromfoster home to foster home. He had never known his true parents.His own mother hadn’t wanted him. Why then, would anyone ever wanthim?
Before Becky’sarrival, he had felt a kinship with his housemates that went beyondtheir mutual Gothness. They had come together equally damaged,equally miserable. As pathetic as that sounded, it had comfortedhim, soothed his melancholy soul. He had gotten comfortable intheir cozy abode. Then Becky came along with her hopeful littlesmiles, snuggly little hugs and hope-filled eyes. Not only had shewon his housemates over with her charms, the wee girl had wormedher way into his own heart, despite his many attempts to fightit.
Now, Kell, theonce aloof, self-loathing, guilt-ridden Goth had his Becky. Dorian,who had shown up with little more than a
