“Everything okay, Crispin?” she asked, having stopped talkinglong enough to feel self-conscious of her ramblings. Perhaps hernattering was getting on his nerves, she wondered. This was sounlike her. She was usually so quiet and withdrawn. Rarely did shefeel comfortable enough to speak to people, let alone go on and on.At least, he hadn’t let go of her hand the entire time they hadwalked. That in itself gave her hope that he hadn’t minded herconstant chatter. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ll bequiet now.”
He tilted hishead in her direction and chuckled. She sensed his eyes on her andshe smiled to herself. For a moment there was silence but for thesound of their footsteps on the pavement. Giving her hand asqueeze, he led her toward the river’s edge until they stoodagainst the rail. He stood behind her and caged her within hisarms, facing the water. They stood there for an unmarked stretch oftime without speaking, simply taking in the sights. They watched afew river buses and boats pass. Across from them was the infamousTower of London which is best known for its use as a prison back inthe day.
Although theywere far from being alone with all the people milling about, withinthe comforting walls of Crispin’s arms, it kind of felt like it wasjust the two of them standing there observing the goings on. Justwhen she thought things couldn’t get any better, he leaned incloser, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and rested hisforearms against the rail.
When she tensedat his unexpected but most welcome boldness, he smoothed his cheekagainst hers and smiled lazily out the side of his mouth. As hedrew back, he nuzzled his nose along the soft skin by her ear andplanted a trail of gentle kisses on her neck. Gwen didn’t knowquite what to think about all this but then again, thinking of anysort was impossible with Crispin’s warm lips against her ear, hisarms around her upper half, his scent surrounding her, the slowsubtle press of his thighs against her backside. It was a goodthing he was holding her so tightly or she might just crumple tothe ground at the sensations he was stirring up in her belly.
She wantednothing more than to reach for him but in her present position withhis arms locked around her, she was basically trapped, her handsuseless.
“Tell me about yourself,” he whispered in her ear, resting hischin on her shoulder. When she hesitated, he kissed her cheek andthen the corner of her mouth. The moment she turned her face toreceive more, he ever so subtly pulled away. “Tell me somethingfirst.”
“I get a kiss for telling you what, exactly?” she asked with ashy smile.
“A little something about yourself.” He pressed his lips intothe side of her neck. “For everything you tell me, you get a kiss.”At his words, she smiled all the more. She was glad for the coverof darkness for she was sure her cheeks were burning withanticipation of more of his sweet kisses. Crispin surprised herwith his unexpected affectionate nature. It was in such contrast tohis cool exterior. Who would have imagined it?
“I’m not sure what to say or where to start.”
“Start with where you work.”
“The jewellery shop?” When he nodded, she took a deep breathand opened up. “It’s my uncle’s shop. When I… quit university, hewas kind enough to offer me a full-time job and a place to live. Irent the apartment above the shop which is nice and convenient.”When she paused, Crispin came through with his promise and kissedher high on her cheek, near her ear.
“Continue…” he whispered. “What did you study in school? Whendid you leave and why?”
She hesitatedto answer but the promise of another one of his kisses promptedher. “I majored in English Literature. Then just this past fall… Ium… I just… I woke up one day and I just couldn’t do it. Thepressure, the stress of keeping up, I couldn’t take it anymore. Iwish I wasn’t like this. I wish I was stronger but everyday things,situations… well, it just gets to be too much.” She paused,overwhelmed by the feelings her admission stirred up inside her. “Iwanted so much to finish my education. My dream was to become awriter, an author of novels. I even wanted to open a bookstoresomeday. But with the way I am… well, I just don’t think it’spossible.” Admitting defeat to her anxiety was never easy. Whatwould Crispin think of her? Would he think she was crazy? Or wouldhe see her as weak, a coward unable to deal with the most mundaneeveryday things?
“Continue.” He tightened his comforting vice-like hold on herand kissed her slightly lower on the cheek two times.
She leaned intohis kiss and drew strength from it. “Working at the shop is okay,though. For some reason, I can handle it. Although even then thereare some days…”
“When did this start?” He kissed her once more. “How long haveyou felt this way?”
“I’m not sure exactly when, but as for why…”
“Why then?” He kissed the corner of her mouth again.
“We moved around a lot when I was growing up because of myfather’s job. I’m an only child and I had trouble making friends.Actually, I never had much of a chance at forming many friendshipssince we moved around so much. I was never in a school longer thantwo years at a time. Just when I’d get comfortable, we’d up andmove away to another place. Then I’d have to start all over again.After a while, I just gave up trying to make new friends. You knowhow it is when you’re the new kid in school. Always the outsider.It went on like that until three years ago
