He nodded after a moment, letting that sink in for a moment. He reached out and touched her hand, gently stroking the back of it with his index finger. “At least you’ll have some company,” he said hoarsely.
Despite herself, she smiled a little smile, then wrapped her arms around him again.
“What the hell is the matter with you anyway?” Cathy scoffed, bending over and picking the whiskey bottle up from Xander’s scorched bedroom floor. She brought it to her nose and sniffed the remnants of its contents, curling her nose as the harsh alcoholic residue burned her nostrils.
Xander watched her do this with a bemused look on his face as he picked up another piece of shattered, curved glass from his computer monitor. “Truth is, I just wanted an excuse to go LCD,” he smirked, giving the plastic case of the screen a friendly slap. “This old girl’s seen better days.”
“You’re weird,” she said, tossing the bottle into a small blue trash bin alongside his dresser. “Why were you trying to get drunk? Can’t imagine it’d work very well on you anyway.”
“Would’ve a few weeks ago. Guess I haven’t worked out the kinks yet,” he mumbled in response, standing on his toes to look over the edge of his trash bin at the liquor bottle inside. When he was sure it was empty, he flattened his feet back out, frowning. “What do you care anyway? Not like you haven’t been drunk before.”
She spun around quickly, her hair spinning around her, angrily whipping at the air around it. “I have not,” she said in disgust, annunciating every word carefully for maximum impact.
“Ha.”
“Okay, when?” she sneered, pointing a finger at him as if to physically put him on the spot.
“Randy Owchar’s birthday. You and Sara and Calla went out back and Calla got stoned and Sara was smoking and drinking. When Calla offered you a joint, you took Sara’s drink instead. Got loaded from sipping on half a cooler,” he smiled.
Her face turned red and her feet came together quickly. She turned away from him as her face got even more red, trying to hide. “Mike said he wouldn’t tell anyone.”
Xander raised an eyebrow. “Sara did, you goon.”
Cathy smiled. “That figures.”
The clock downstairs chimed once, and then again. “Two already. Time flies. By the way, she told to keep me from spilling dirt on her.”
Cathy turned slightly to glare at him from over her shoulder. “What?”
Xander grinned, pulling his fingers across his lips to pantomime a zipper.
She sneered playfully in response, turning away from him again. Immediately her features softened as she realized for the first time that she was standing directly in front of Xander’s bedroom window, looking out onto Sara’s bedroom window.
He watched her muscles stiffen and tense, her hands coming up to rub her arms even though there wasn’t even a hint of a breeze in the room. Without asking, without even seeing her face he knew what she was thinking and feeling. “She aced all the subjects last term,” he said finally, having trouble finding his voice. “Didn’t want you to know. Said you’re supposed to be the smart one.”
She didn’t respond or move, just kept staring out the window.
He watched her hair rise and fall with every breath she took, waving with even the slightest motion of her body like ripples over a calm lake.
“I can’t stand this,” she said finally, so low he could barely even hear her. “I can’t stand this and it’s only been thirty seconds. I can’t imagine what it must be like for you to see this every day.”
He put down the glass shards he’d been collecting, leaning against his table on his knuckles. He let out several long sighs before responding. “The Womb makes it worse,” he said finally. “Lets me see things there I’ve got no business knowing. Her parents haven’t touched it since she died. There’s still a juice box against her computer waiting from her to get home from the party.”
“She did get thirsty after parties.”
“There are toys I didn’t even realize she had lined up on the far wall with an empty spot on the middle. I think the missing one’s actually on her bed. Don’t know why, but I’d like to think it was bad dreams.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Her dream-catcher’s not hanging, it’s resting on her windowsill. I caught her ‘shaking it out’ once or twice outside the window. Think she did it before she left for the party.”
“Didn’t realize she bought stuff like that.”
“I don’t think she did. I think she did it just in case it was true... even if she didn’t believe,” he smiled, looking down at the circles in his wooden desk. “The Womb lets me see all that. Makes it seem like she could come back any minute... like she’s not even gone.”
There was silence for a moment. When Cathy spoke again, her voice was different. It was no longer hushed and intimate, but moist with shock and even fear. “I can see all that, too.”
“What?” he almost barked, getting up and walking over next to her. His scowl widened into shock as he looked out just in time to see the second of Sara’s two bedroom lights flicker on.
“Her folks aren’t there, are they?” Cathy asked, her voice like ice as her eyes scanned the window relentlessly for any sign of movement.
“No,” Xander said, clicking his tongue against his teeth and stroking his chin. After a moment, he stepped away from her side back to where he’d come from by the shattered remains of his computer.
A shadow fell across the wall quickly as she watched, followed by another,
