Catherine Kennessy threw her arms around Xander, hanging off him as she held him close. She’d been doing that a lot over the last few days, ever since Sara had died. It was just another of those reminders that was meant to be pleasant but always ended with him having a bad taste in the back of his mouth.
For his part, Xander forced a smile, but did not squeeze her back or even put his arms around her. They stayed limp at his sides until she was done and she plopped back down in front of him. She had to look up at him, her eyes about a half-foot lower than his. The blurb on his eyes was gone now and he could see all of her soft beauty as it stared up at him. Her shoulder length near-black hair came down straight on either side of her porcelain face, like a frame for her large brown eyes. Her lips were small, red and always glimmering, even when there was no light for them to glimmer off of. She was wearing a black blouse and blue jeans that looked far too big for her. The jeans were fine, but he had never seen her wear black before. It had been the same blouse she had worn to the funeral. Or funerals, more appropriately. He hoped that it would not find its way back into her regular wardrobe rotation.
“How are you doing today?” she asked sympathetically, stroking his arm.
A million different answers flooded his mind all at the same time. After a moment he just shrugged and turned his attention back toward the bus stop, avoiding eye contact with his friend.
“I’m fine,” he said, when he realized she wasn’t going to look away.
She shook her head, having to accept an answer she knew wasn’t true but making a mental note to bring it up later. That was what Cathy was, when you boiled away everything else. She had to make sure everyone else’s life was going good, even when her own was in shambles around her ears. “What did you do last night?”
Xander got a flash of memory before it was gone again, his face wincing. Again, he didn’t answer.
“Me and Mike rented some old movies and stayed up late over at my place. Have you seen Ferris Beuler’s Day Off? I think it’s really good, but Mike hated it. Thought it was the worst thing he’d ever seen.”
Again Xander got caught in a memory, this one clearer than the last. It was of him and Sara sitting next to each other on her couch, munching on popcorn and watching Ferris Beuler riding the parade float and singing at the top of his lungs, with all of the people around him dancing and cheering. He could see Sara laughing as if she were the one standing in front of him instead of Cathy. “Never saw it,” he said after some hesitation. His voice was almost a whisper.
Michael Harris stepped up behind his girlfriend finally, having taken his time catching up with her. He nodded curtly to Xander, who reciprocated the greeting.
“Lord,” Cathy said. She rolled her eyes as she watched the both of them, then smiled. “You two would communicate with just grunts if you could, wouldn’t you?”
“We’d use the occasional hand gesture, too,” Mike chuckled in defense, raising his hands comically. He laughed as she gave him a little slap on the arm, then turned back to Xander. “Did she ask you to break our little tie about the movie yet?”
Xander just stared at him for a moment, as Cathy explained that he hadn’t even seen it. Mike made some kind of remark about that being for the best anyway, but Xander barely heard that. It was like the voices were under water as his mind slipped into a muddy daze and the world around him was pasted on a screen of moist paper towels, ready for him to rip through at any time. There was a prickling feeling on the tips of his fingers as that thought crossed his mind, and he buried them deeper into his pockets.
Mike noticed and shot him a queer glance as he continued talking to Cathy. He stood almost over a head taller than Xander, making even the smallest such gesture have some measure of authority. His light blonde hair had been combed with his fingers that morning and still looked messy from a night spent on Cathy’s couch, his clothes ruffled and creased as they clung to his muscular body. He’d been one of the star runners for the Coral Beach Cougars until he’d quit last year, something that he rarely let people forget whenever he could fit it into the conversation. His face was kind and belied the power of his arms and torso, his heart-shaped freckled cheeks always wearing a warm and inviting smile that matched his bright blue eyes. Right now that smile was gone, replaced by a look of concern as he said something to Xander.
Xander shook and snapped out of his daze.
“Dude, are you okay?” Mike repeated, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
Xander looked at him and really saw him for the first time in what felt like days. “Yeah,” he said, looking from him to Cathy and then back again. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
Mike frowned and threw a look at his girlfriend, who pouted her feelings as well. Both of them wanted to pry into what Xander was really
