‘And if you were to describe Virumandi to your own self, within a closed room, then what would you say?’ I probed.
‘You ask the most difficult questions!’ Virumandi said with another laugh. ‘I would say that Virumandi is an educated man who has a PhD in library sciences. He has learnt from each and every one of the researchers he has met because of M130, and he wants to rid his community of some bad things.’
He paused for a few moments, then added softly, ‘You know, miss, we still kill our girl babies. I tell our community to stop this tradition, but it still happens.’
‘Why are they killed?’ I asked.
‘It is a tradition that if the second child is a girl, she has to be killed within ten days. There are specific men in the tribe who know how to do it. They pluck leaves that secrete poison and feed them to the infant girl. She dies immediately,’ he said.
‘But how do parents allow this?’
‘Parents do not want to pay the dowry for a girl when she gets married,’ he explained. ‘Dowry is a tradition,’ he added as we got off the car.
‘So tradition has its dark side?’ I asked.
‘Yes, and only education can cure us of these terrible things,’ he replied.
‘You are the only person in your tribe who is so educated. How has it helped you?’
‘Education does not mean just knowing how to read or write. Education means understanding the other person’s point of view. Sometimes there are quarrels among people in the community. Because of my education, I know how not to react impulsively and stay calm, and I tell people who are fighting to do the same thing. I am able to sort out problems in the community.’
The wedding venue was spread across three large, traditional Nattukottai Chettiar homes, discontinuously located on a single muddy pedestrian street that led to the village temple at the end. The large banners that proclaimed ‘Dr Valli weds Dr Thiyagarajan’ were hard to miss.
‘The professor belongs to a wealthy trader community called Chettiar,’ explained Virumandi as we walked towards the house where the main ceremony was to be. ‘Most of his family members work in banks or are big businessmen.’
‘And clearly the new generation is made up of well-educated doctors!’ I added, pointing to the gigantic wedding banners around us.
The house had a columned veranda in front, where about a hundred guests—mostly men—were sitting on the floor. The pillars, I was told by Virumandi, were made of Burma teak, the style unique to the Chettiar community living in this 100-square-mile area. About 20 feet away was a second row of Burma teak pillars on another slightly more raised veranda.
We entered the wedding like a happy couple—Virumandi and I—getting photographs clicked with the family on the way into the spacious inner courtyard, where there were now mostly women. We walked towards the entrance to the centre.
The professor was standing at the entrance with his hands folded. ‘Welcome, Miniya,’ he said with a smile. He asked Virumandi if our journey to the venue was comfortable.
The courtyard had thin teak pillars and a series of rooms on all sides. Virumandi pointed ahead to the bride and the groom, and explained to me that this was an arranged marriage between cousins, as per the community tradition.
‘Yes, the bride and the groom did not know each other at all till the match was suggested, and then they met in a hotel alone for a half-hour to evaluate each other. This happened three months before the wedding day,’ Professor Pitchappan told me.References
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