“That.” Kate jabbed her finger in the air. “That right there.”
“What?” Aidan asked, genuinely confused.
“This isn’t a ‘you broke it, you bought it’ situation, is it, Aidan? Are you in this because you’re keeping a promise? Or because you don’t want a second divorce on your record?”
“Kate. Don’t.”
“No, Aidan. It is a perfectly legitimate question. Are you trying to make me the bad guy, the one who wants a divorce so that it is not on you? Shouldn’t love be a factor? The word love has never come up the entire time we’ve been together. And now we’re married. I witnessed firsthand what happened in my parents’ marriage. My dad didn’t love my mother and eventually he left. Even three daughters couldn’t make him stay. Because he didn’t love us. I know you’re not my father, but I don’t want to be in a marriage of obligation. Despite what you seem to think, it is not good for the kids. Kids can sense when it is wrong and they’re usually the ones who end up getting hurt.”
Aidan felt himself bristle. Then his walls went up. They needed to pick up Chloe. It was already getting late, and if they opened this can of worms, they had to be here longer. For a moment, it crossed his mind to say the words she wanted to hear. But he couldn’t find the right words. The ones that wanted to come out asked, What is love anyway? And what is I love you but three meaningless words strung together? A hollow promise.
If Kate couldn’t see how he felt—If his actions didn’t speak louder than three empty words, maybe this marriage would not work because she needed more from him than he could give.
“I think you need to take a couple of days and decide what you want,” Aidan said.
“So that’s how it is going to be? You’re putting everything on me again? The fate of this marriage is on my shoulders? Whether we stay married or go? I’m not the only one who needs to think about it. I need a marriage based on love. Not on obligation. I’m going to go away for a few days. And when I come back, we both need to have figured out what we want.”
Aidan nodded. Then they sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. He watched a couple strolling in the park hand in hand. The other side of the park, near the basketball courts, was illuminated and he could hear distant cheers. Someone’s small victory.
He wished for a victory of his own.
He wanted to pull her into his arms and remind her why they were so good together. But that would only muddy the waters. Obviously, it wasn’t enough for Kate. She needed more than that.
“What will we tell Chloe?” Her voice was small.
“Tell her that you’re going to be away.”
Tonight he had realized that as much as her leaving now would hurt his daughter, if she was going to leave anyway, the longer Kate stayed, the worse it would be.
He glanced over at her and tears were streaming down her cheeks. “Can I stay tonight?” she asked. “So I can tuck her in and tell her myself? I’ll pack some of my things in the morning after she’s gone to school.”
“Of course. It is your home, too. For as long as you want it to be. But please don’t tell Chloe you’ll be back, if you can’t guarantee that you’ll keep that promise.”
Chloe looked so tiny and angelic in her little white lace nightie, with Princess Sweetie Pie tucked underneath her arm.
Kate pulled the covers up over the little girl, taking care to bring the pink sheet and blanket only up to the stuffed animal’s chin. As Chloe had explained, “Princess Sweetie Pie doesn’t like to have her head covered up.”
Kate sat on the side of Chloe’s bed and listened to her chatter on and on about the night’s adventure with Beatrice. They had built a blanket fort and Miss Doris had allowed them to eat their macaroni and cheese in the fort.
“It was the funnest time ever!” Chloe exclaimed. She threw her stuffed cat into the air and then wagged her finger and scolded. “Princess Sweetie Pie, get back under the covers. It is past your bedtime.”
Both she and Kate laughed at the naughty animal, and Kate repeated the tucking-in and read Chloe’s favorite book, Good Night Moon. Finally she noticed that Chloe’s eyes were getting heavy and she knew she couldn’t postpone what she had to do any longer.
For a moment, as she took her time putting the book on the nightstand and straightening the lamp and the small glass of water they kept by Chloe’s bedside in case she got thirsty in the middle of the night, Kate tried to talk herself out of going away, only to have the split-second decision washed away by the pull of her reality with Aidan. He didn’t love her. Not the way she needed a man to love her if she was going to give her life to him.
Doing her best to act normal, she said, “Chloe, I have to go away for a little while, but your dad will be here, and he can take you to your rock group, and maybe Miss Doris can let you come over after school. Doesn’t that sound like fun?”
Kate held her breath as she waited for the little girl to ask her when she would return. Instead, Chloe clapped her hands and rattled off the plans that she and Beatrice were already making. Kate managed a smile. As she leaned down to kiss Chloe good-night, it dawned on her that maybe Dori was a better fit for Aidan. If Aidan married Dori, Chloe and Beatrice would be stepsisters. Kate knew firsthand the
