Now she had more to think of than herself. Kate put a hand on her stomach. Her mind skittered to Aidan and Chloe and her heart ached. One night away from them and she missed them like she missed a limb or a vital organ. But the odd push-me-pull-you force that seemed to control her like a puppet master manipulating a marionette reminded her that it was easy to miss them from this vantage point. Every time she thought about settling in—be it moving her business to the inn or fully committing to be part of the Quindlin family—she felt the walls closing in, and utter terror warned her to get out before the claustrophobia could suffocate her.
But was this what she wanted for the rest of her life? To keep running when life got to structured and real?
It shouldn’t be this difficult. She loved Aidan and Chloe. She was carrying Aidan’s child. Her place was with them. Why was she making life so hard on everyone?
If she could answer that question, she would not be nearly sick with dread right now.
Elle was frowning into her glass of water. “Why would you ask that?”
Kate shrugged. “Because I can’t stop wondering how a man could just walk away from his family.”
She heard herself saying the words and it didn’t escape her that it might have been not so dissimilar from the way that she had walked away from Aidan and Chloe. But it wasn’t the same. Was it?
“You know what?” Jane asked. “I don’t care why he did what he did. I don’t want to know. So I guess the answer is no. Not only have I never wanted to contact him, I don’t care if I ever see him again. I truly don’t care.”
Elle shot Jane a look seemed to say she was being too harsh.
“Are you thinking about getting in touch with him?” Elle asked. “Is it because of the baby?”
“No...yes.” Kate scrunched up her face in frustration. “I don’t know. Maybe I do need to work through some things before the baby arrives.”
“And you think seeing him will help?” Jane looked like she smelled something foul. It dawned on Kate that maybe her sisters weren’t as unaffected by the trauma of their childhood as they seemed. Obviously, they were better at compartmentalizing their feelings. Lucky them. If only Kate could do that—box up the memories of their mother trying her best to explain that their father had left but it wasn’t because he didn’t love them. Trying to justify his actions and make excuses for a man who had been such a coward that he couldn’t even say goodbye to his own children.
“I thought it might,” Kate said. “I don’t know. His leaving us is something I still haven’t come to terms with. Even all these years later. I think it is part of my problem—why I have a hard time committing to situations like the spa.”
And Aidan and Chloe.
“You know he can’t take the inn away from us,” Jane said. “The judge made that final. And the spa doesn’t mean prison. Just have a plan and work it. Mom and Gigi will respect you.”
Kate gave a one-shoulder shrug. Jane might be right.
“What do you think will happen if you go see him?” Elle asked. “Are you looking to reestablish a relationship with him...as in letting him back into your life?”
Kate shook her head. “No, that’s not what I’m looking for.”
“Good,” said Elle. “It would be one thing if he had contacted us...or you, but he hasn’t, Kate. The sad truth of it is it’s been years and he hasn’t cared enough to get in touch with us. He’s moved on. Frankly, as far as I’m concerned, so have I. That door is closed.”
“Forever?” Kate asked. “Even though you’re married and have the baby?”
Elle pursed her lips and looked thoughtful for several beats, as if she was deeply contemplating the question. Finally she said, “Especially because of Daniel and the baby.”
They were quiet for a moment. Kate let her sister’s declaration sink in.
“I have a confession to make.” Elle folded her hands and stared at them, clearly gathering her thoughts and maybe her courage. “Daniel and I ran into Fred right before Maggie was born. We were in Pooler at the outlet mall shopping for the baby. I turned a corner and nearly bumped into him. My stomach was out to here and we literally almost ran into each other.”
“Are you serious?” Jane said. “Did you talk to him?”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Kate asked.
“I didn’t tell you because other than a mumbled excuse me, we didn’t talk. He was with Bev and they just kept right on walking.”
Beverly was the woman for whom he had left his wife and family.
“Wow,” said Jane.
“They’re still together, huh?” Kate asked.
“Apparently so,” Elle said. “And his actions spoke loud and clear about where his loyalties lie. There’s no relationship left to salvage.”
Elle’s voice broke, but her words hung in the air.
“I’m not saying the door is nailed shut. If he came to me or to one of us, I’d try to meet him halfway, but until then, out of self-preservation, I had to quit letting him live in my head rent-free. I have a family—a great husband, a sweet daughter. I have the two of you and Mom and Gigi. I have a wonderful, full life. So many blessings. I had to make a conscious decision that I wasn’t going to let him rob me of current sweet, happy moments.”
“Yoo-hoo!” someone called. Kate looked over her shoulder and saw her mother and Stephen standing at the entrance to the tearoom. Zelda had Bear, the corgi puppy, on a leash. “We’ve just returned from a walk. I’m going to take Bear upstairs to the apartment since dogs aren’t allowed in the tearoom. Honey, why don’t you wait down here and talk to the girls. I’ll be right
