“God, I hate you! I loathe the day I found your front door.” Pure emotion edged his every word.
“Good luck, you’re going to need it. Let me help you with the door.” She turned the knob and flung the door open wide. At the last second, she noticed he had no shoes on. Too bad.
She slammed the door closed behind him, and made it to the stairs before she collapsed in tears.
***
After an hour, Sara-Kate peeled herself off of the stairs where she lay crying. Every step took a deliberate effort. Her muscles ached, and her body felt on the verge of collapse. In the bathroom, she splashed water on her face, and looked into the mirror, taking in her swollen red eyes and still trembling lips.
Reaching into a cupboard, she removed her vanity case filled with cosmetics. With shaking hands, she applied eye shadow and mascara, followed by a coat of pale pink lipstick. She ran a hairbrush through her hair, went to her bedroom, and selected a flower pattered satin bra and matching underwear from her lingerie chest. She then chose from her closet a button down floral dress and slipped into the clothing.
For the first time in years, she was going out.
It wasn’t to look for Reed. No, he was on his own. This was something she was doing for herself. To prove only to herself, and no one else, that she wasn’t pathetic and lonely, as Reed accused her of being. That she wasn’t a woman in need of saving, like Dr. Andy thought.
She slipped into her heels, went to Reed’s bedroom and packed all of his belongings into his suitcase. He would leave her home with exactly what he brought into it. She dragged the suitcase down the stairs, and into the foyer. Opening the front door, she heaved the suitcase onto the front lawn.
This was not right, she thought as she left the sanctuary of her home, and closed the door behind her.
What had she done that was so wrong?
Nothing, that’s what. She always aspired to do the right thing. To help people. What did it get her? A never ending existence of sadness and heartbreak, that’s what it gave to her.
This latest incident with Reed was only more proof of it.
One thing Reed said to her did make sense. The suicide all those years ago wasn’t her fault. She fought to the best of her abilities to keep that girl alive. Some people were just beyond saving. What had Reed said? Something like...
Sometimes it’s just your time to die, and no one can do a damn thing to stop it.
All those years of agonizing about what she did wrong, what she could have done differently.
What a waste.
Then to sit alone in that house day after day, month after month, year after year. What did it accomplish?
Nothing.
All these years on earth, the first eighteen as a human, and the decades in spirit, she accomplished nothing.
Well, she did have a successful business.
But no real happiness for herself, only bringing about the happiness of others.
What Reed said earlier was harsh and maybe unforgiving, yet he was right when he said she was lonely and pathetic.
Well, that changed right now.
Maybe it wasn’t necessary to get orders for her business out on time, and perhaps she would stop saying ‘thank you’ to anyone who delivered a package or groceries to her door. There would be no more cookies for the assisted living center.
There would be a whole lot more of indulging in her own whims. Who cared what rules it broke with the spirit world? As for the effect on the humans she came in contact with?
Not her problem any longer.
Forget what the Fates thought, what they demanded.
They did nothing for her but heap more misery on to her shoulders. Right there and then, she pledged to live only for herself and her happiness.
It was Sara-Kate’s turn now.
She walked, the only lights coming from the street lights that lined street after street of homes. Although it was after midnight now, there were still lights dotting the landscape, shrouded by blinds and drapes.
The misting rain raised a chill on her arms, and she rubbed them in an attempt to keep warm.
Then it hit her.
Where was she?
After aimlessly walking in the dark, her thoughts preoccupied only with affirmations of changing her life, she now lost her way. All those years shuttered in her home now left her vulnerable, and completely unprepared for what was beyond her own neighborhood.
She walked to the end of the street. The sign above her read Blueberry Hill Drive. There was a small park across the street from where she stood, the swing set and slide vaguely outlined in the low light. She crossed the street, and looked at the next street sign.
Mulberry Circle.
The address was so familiar.
Then it came to her. Dr. Andy left countless cards with his home address. 13 Mulberry Circle. He laughed when he told her he got a deep discount on his home because no one wanted to live at number 13. As if a simple number could ruin lives. It had firmly remained in her memory.
She checked a house number. 3 Mulberry Circle. Then 5, 7, 9, 11, and finally, 13. A light glowed behind the golden drapes in the front room. She chuckled to herself as she stood outside the lushly landscaped bungalow of Dr. Andy Stark, the man who for the last two years relentlessly pursued her affections, only for her to rebuff his every advance because romantic relationships with humans was forbidden in the spirit world.
Forbidden until tonight, she thought
