“Are you all right?” Tomas asked as Jaime took a good long drag, emptying his glass of wine.
“Might need more wine,” Jaime choked out the words as he tried to clear his throat and come up with a good excuse for ditching Tomas that wouldn’t land him on Leila’s shit list.
Dating was turning out to be a lot trickier than picking up. The stakes were so much higher than just sex.
“Don’t worry, I learned my lesson.” Tomas laughed nervously. “I’m not looking to jump into a serious relationship on the first date. I just believe in being up front, and you did want to know what inspired me.”
“Honesty is probably a good thing.” Jaime just wasn’t used to this much honesty right from the start. Sex didn’t even require names, let alone life goals and aspirations to be shared. Maybe if he wanted more he would have to give more of himself. The thought was as exhilarating as it was terrifying. “As long as we are being honest, you should probably know this is my first date.”
It took Tomas a few seconds to process Jaime’s confession.
“You mean you’ve never been out with a man before?”
Now it was Tomas’s turn to sound nervous. That gave Jaime a certain satisfaction. It was reassuring he wasn’t the only one with something to lose.
“I’ve been with a man, men.” Jaime emphasized been in the hope he wouldn’t have to give details. “But it’s usually more of a casual thing.”
“So what made you agree to this date?”
Jaime took a long breath. Being honest with someone else required he was honest with himself. Somehow saying the words out loud was actually as hard as realizing them. It made them all the more real, and he wasn’t quite ready for that.
“I’ve gotten tired of that scene.” Jaime finally put the words together. They weren’t a lie, but he knew they were only a half-truth. The rest he was still discovering. “I’m not saying I’m ready to settle down on the first date.”
“Acknowledged.”
“But maybe I’d be willing to see if I’d go for a second date.”
The rest of the date was filled with the ups and downs of getting to know someone through snippets of conversation. Jaime found it surprisingly easy to talk to Tomas about his own passions and interests, spilling his guts like he’d never done before. In return, Tomas told him about his younger sister, who finally provided his mother with the grandchild she longed for and how a knee injury in high school led him to coaching an inner city young women’s softball team.
It was almost too much to process, but Jaime loved listening to Tomas speak about the things he loved. Despite the semiserious attitude, Tomas could really laugh it up and no more loudly than when he was the butt of the joke. The man might be all seriousness when it came to tax law, which he fortunately talked little about, and starting a family, but he was able to laugh at himself when he’d done something foolish.
The evening raced by in a blur of personal and superficial details Jaime knew he wouldn’t be able to remember, but he held onto the few he knew he’d never forget—like the way Tomas’s left cheek dimpled when he was on the verge of laughter or how deep brown his eyes were when he was just listening to Jaime go on and on about the virtues of hip-hop and staccato bass. The rest, like names and dates, Jaime filed away the best he could in hopes the details would surface when he needed them.
“I had a really good time,” Tomas said as they walked toward Jaime’s car. “I’d almost be tempted to ask you over for a nightcap.”
It was an invitation Jaime had toyed with extending as they finished their meals and lingered far longer than the wait staff liked over coffee and dessert. While they were getting to know each other, Jaime was more concerned with not making a fool out of himself as he oscillated between panic at the realism of their conversation and bliss that he was finally just talking with someone. As their date neared its end, he became more concerned with how to make their time together last just a little longer. For once, Jaime wasn’t trying to avoid getting into a personal conversation.
All the more reason to call it a night before he got carried away.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Jaime started but couldn’t figure out how best to politely say he’d rather not screw things up by screwing Tomas on the first date. “It’s just I’m trying to turn over a new leaf by taking things a little slow. I definitely want to see you again and see where this goes.”
Jaime stopped talking as he felt his cheeks flush. Leave it to him to make a fool out of himself when he was trying to leave a good impression.
“Don’t worry,” Tomas said with a disarming laugh and placed his hand on Jaime’s shoulder. “Slow can be really good. Some things are worth the wait.”
With the last word, Tomas squeezed Jaime’s shoulder in a gesture that was both possessive and affectionate. Jaime’s knees softened when he pictured how Tomas would look in his bed with nothing but the sheets and Jaime’s hard body to cover him. Now Jaime was cursing his vow of chastity all the more.
“I’m sure you will be.” Jaime couldn’t help flash his come-hither look and nip at his lower lip. Somehow, spending time with Tomas and getting to know him had more than made up for Jaime’s doubts about finding the man attractive. Even though he wasn’t Jaime’s usual fare, Tomas could put on the moves when he wanted to make his point known.
“I think a goodnight kiss would be appropriate.” Tomas moved in closer which only made resisting his allure that much more difficult. “As long as you promise me a second date.”
A quick glance
