But that couldn’t be right. Because this – all of this – it was wrong.
I pulled away from Max, breaking his perfect grip. I stared up into his eyes as my own filled with tears. Then I tried to snap to my feet.
My thigh was so injured, I couldn’t stand, and I buckled forward. Max caught me, holding me in place. “Chi, just calm down, just calm down,” he cooed in my ear, his breath a soft drumbeat along my throat and jaw.
… It would have been too easy to give into that gentle tone, to melt against his strong chest.
I pulled back, this time shoring up my leg and standing on my own. I forced a deep breath down my chest, pressed my lips closed, and stared at him. “How… how did you know I was here?”
“I told you, Chi – we’re connected. Plus, I have a signal on your phone, and I tracked you here.” He broke eye contact as he turned and surveyed the lifeless form of the faceless assassin. “Just in time, by the looks. Or maybe it wasn’t just in time.” He returned his attention to me.
And me? I turned my attention on his shadow.
Max kept close as he locked an apparently supportive hand over my elbow. “Because you managed to do this on your own, Chi. You used your powers to stop that asshole and save the day. That’s incredible,” he said, his expression so warm, so apparently genuine.
I didn’t once tear my gaze off his shadow.
… It was watching me, wasn’t it?
It was always watching me.
“… Chi? Are you listening? Shit, you’ve lost a lot of blood. You’re probably out of it. Come here, and I’ll heal you.”
I suddenly and rather violently broke Max’s grip. I jerked backward, putting several paces between us. I ticked my head back, my fringe scattering across my eyes. “No.”
“Chi,” very slowly, he put his hands up, “it’s just me. Now, you’re injured. You’re not thinking straight.”
“I’m fine.” I kept switching my gaze between the real Max and his long, dark shadow.
He shifted towards me warily, but when I jerked back, he stopped. With his hands still in the air, he stared at me with a truly concerned expression crumpling his brow. “Chi, just let me help you. Let me use my magic to—”
I shook my head. The move was strong – stronger than I should have managed, and it sent a wave of nausea shifting through my body. But rather than clap a hand over my mouth, I faced him. “No, I don’t want you to use your magic on me. I don’t want you to lose your memory,” I added.
A completely different expression crumpled Max’s face now. One I’d never seen.
Yes, Max had been opening up to me over the past several months, but I’d never seen him this fragile, this unguarded.
I watched him swallow, watched his Adam’s apple bump against the tight collar of his T-shirt.
I swore a charge of emotion leaped through the air, swore it caught along my back, raced down my spine, collected in my limbs, and plunged towards my lips.
This conversation wasn’t going where I’d intended it to, but I couldn’t help it. I tipped my head further back and stared at him, using my all to keep steady on my feet, so I didn’t plunge to my knees. “I don’t want you using your magic on me again. I don’t want you to lose your memories.” I couldn’t control my tone as it became tight and weak.
He kept looking at me. And for the life of me, I couldn’t explain what his expression was, how soft and yet contorted his features became. By his sides, he curled his hands into fists. They weren’t tight enough that his fingers dug into his palms, and yet they had an unmistakable tension about them. One that made my chest feel tight.
“Chi, I’m here to protect you. I’ve told you that. Now, you don’t need to be concerned about my memories—”
“Yes, I do,” I said firmly. All weakness was now gone as I stared at him directly. “Why should you give up a part of yourself for me? You might be contracted to the McLane family, but shouldn’t you have a choice?” My voice became completely constricted on the word choice. In fact, it felt like two hands reached through from the ether, wrapped around my throat, and squeezed.
Max’s cheeks stiffened and twitched. As I switched my gaze to the side, I saw his shadow convulse somehow, as if a sudden light had shone through it.
It took a moment for Max to relax enough to open his mouth. “It is my choice. Just come here.” He reached a hand towards me.
Rather than take it, I took another directed step back. Any more, and I’d trip over the sheets of steel that remained scattered over the floor.
I watched Max’s eyes flash with concern, but I still didn’t take his outstretched hand.
My heart was beating fast, my breath still stuck in my throat, but the fear of what had happened to me was starting to wane. No, that’s not right – it was still present in my body, still burning through my veins and scouring my mind.
My magic had done something to me. Bridgette was right – it did come with a cost.
And that cost was my choice.
Every time I used my powers to see the future, I had no choice but to follow what I saw, didn’t I?
Maybe it made some kind of strange metaphysical sense – but
