“The money complicated things,” she said. “My old friends from high school fell away when I went to college. That happens, of course. And then the friends I made in college got a little jealous when I had privileged problems, like how to make sure I could make enough money off a property sale in order to invest in a new business venture. That sort of thing.”
“Their hearts bled for you,” he said with a low laugh.
“Something like that.” Will moaned in his sleep and Ember patted his back absently. “I’m in a bit of a no-man’s-land right now. Even you can’t quite decide what you think of me.”
Casey had to admit that was true. She was beautiful, insightful, but still stubborn when it came to her own point of view. She’d been on his mind lately, both as his competition, but also as... Dare he think of her as a woman? She was surprisingly human, but it didn’t change that she was going to alter the landscape of this ranching country—or that she’d be doing it on the land where he’d hoped to settle down and raise a family.
“Well, in the moment, you’re helping me out of a tough spot, so I’m inclined to like you.” He shot her a teasing smile. “You want some coffee?”
“Sure.”
He pushed himself to his feet and headed into the kitchen. He pulled the plug on the sink full of soapy water on his way past, glancing at the row of freshly washed baby bottles. He’d wanted a woman’s touch around here, but he had to admit that it stung when the babies seemed to prefer Ember to him when they wanted comforting.
But whatever. It was help, and he couldn’t be picky.
Casey grabbed a coffee filter and the tin of coffee grounds from a cupboard and set to work measuring and filling the coffee maker with water. His hands did the work without any thought, and his mind spun ahead.
“Mind if I ask you a question...professionally?” he asked.
“You mean as a therapist?” she said.
He winced, then turned around. “Yes.”
“Shoot.”
“When do I tell the boys about their parents? I mean, their death was pretty grisly, and I’d hate to scare little boys. The thought—I don’t know. How do I do that?”
“Never hide what happened,” she replied. “But there’s no need to go into detail. You can tell them a little more as they get older. But I’d recommend starting out with a picture of their parents in the home. Point to it, and tell them that is their first mommy and daddy. If they know from the start that they’re adopted and why, there are no big, shocking conversations to have later on.”
“Makes sense. I guess I’m a little afraid of being told I’m not their real dad when I tell them to do something.”
“Oh, kids come up with all sorts of stuff, even if you are the biological parent,” she replied. “Don’t be afraid of something they might say later. Besides, if you are always very open about their parents, they won’t feel like they’re betraying you later when they want to learn more about them.”
“Yeah...” He nodded, then sauntered back into the living room. Ember looked down at the sleeping babies, then up at him.
“Help me get them into their cribs?” she said.
“Sure.” Casey bent and picked up Will first, freeing up Ember so she could get to her feet. He laid the baby in his cradle and looked down at the little guy. “I guess I’m afraid that they’d be right.”
“About what?” she asked, laying Wyatt in the other cradle next to his brother.
“That I’m not their real dad.” He looked up at Ember uneasily.
“Because they don’t feel like yours yet,” she supplied.
He was silent—was that a terrible thing to admit to?
“Casey, I’m going to tell you something,” she said, stepping closer and putting a hand on his arm. “I’ve heard biological parents say the same thing. Childbirth is traumatic. They expect to feel this rush of unblemished love when they look at their baby, but that child is purple, squished and, frankly, a little ugly. They’re in shock from the pain, the blood loss, from meeting their child for the first time... And when they get home from the hospital, they are sleep deprived and overwhelmed. They don’t feel what they expected to feel. It isn’t all picture-perfect and rosy. It’s exhausting and scary and a massive change.”
“Okay...” he said slowly.
“My point is, you lost your cousin when you became legal guardian of these boys. That’s traumatic. You’re busy, trying to adjust your life to two infants, and have no idea what your future with them will look like. This wasn’t planned. This wasn’t anyone’s ideal, including yours. And that’s okay.”
“Is it? I think those boys deserve to be someone’s ideal,” he said.
“You’ll get there.”
“I want to.”
“You will.” She met his gaze evenly, and she seemed convinced of that, at least.
“Yeah.” That was all true. Frankly, it was downright scary at the moment. He’d gone from bachelor to single parent of two overnight.
“Stop expecting perfection.” She let her hand on his arm drop.
“That’s it?” He eyed her.
“That’s it.” Ember shrugged. “None of us are perfect, Casey. Stop expecting it of yourself. You’ll adjust. You’ll figure it out. You’ll be a good dad.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“You cared enough to ask.” She shot him a smile, and for the first time she looked relaxed, and that smile lit her features. She went from awfully pretty to stunning, and he swallowed. Ember pulled her hair away from her face with a swipe of her fingers, and he tried not to notice how appealing she was when she relaxed like that.
“Okay,” he said feebly.
“That right there—” She waggled a finger at him. “That was therapy.”
He rolled his eyes. “Hardly. That was advice.”
“Yeah, well, it was advice from a professional, and if you don’t get that reassurance, you might worry for nothing,
