“If I’d lost you out there—” He clamped his mouth shut, as if biting off the words.
“But you didn’t,” she said.
“I’m just saying—” He didn’t want to say it, whatever it was. She could tell by the battle on his face. “I’ve known you a week. This is a strange circumstance—what with the babies and now the wolves... We’re not exactly in an ordinary situation here.”
“I agree,” she said softly, but his eyes were still locked on hers.
“So why does this feel like more?” he asked, his voice a low rumble.
It did feel like more. It felt like something deep and undeniable was developing between them, despite the fact that she could never be a mother to his sons, and he could never support her as she fulfilled her promises to God. They were stuck, but her heart kept stretching anyway. Her stubborn, stubborn heart that wouldn’t let go, even when it was for the best.
Like with her own son that her heart yearned toward, even in her sleep. She’d given him up. He had another family. He wouldn’t even remember her! But her heart wouldn’t stop and she dreamed of his infant cries anyway.
“Go and do your job. I have it under control here,” she said with more surety than she felt.
She glanced toward the babies, still sleeping deeply. Will’s tongue was stuck out, and Wyatt was sucking rhythmically on a soother.
“I’m going to regret this,” he said with a sigh. Then he dipped his head down and caught her lips with his. His lips were soft and warm, and they moved over hers with confidence. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she felt like the room evaporated around them, and all that was left was him and her and the whisper of his breath against her face. He slid his arms around her waist, tugging her closer against him. Then his hand moved up to her cheek as he pulled back and looked down into her eyes.
For the first time since this whole drama with the wolves had unfolded, she felt a rush of comfort, as if in this tall cowboy’s arms, she’d come home.
“How inappropriate was that?” he murmured.
“Wildly,” she breathed.
“Thought so. I’ll kick myself for it later, but I couldn’t leave the house without doing that just once—” He swallowed, closed his eyes for a moment, then stepped away from her. Cool air rushed between them, and Ember wished she could close that distance once more and just rest her cheek against his broad chest.
“I’ll be back,” he said and turned toward the kitchen and the door. She stood there, her lips still warm from his kiss and her heart hammering in her chest. All she wanted to do was run after him and have him do that all over again, but she couldn’t run—and even if she could, she didn’t dare. She knew as well as he did that there was no future between them...only these frustrating emotions.
Will squirmed in his sleep and let out a whimper. Ember used the crutch to hop over to the cradle, and she looked down at the sleeping baby. This was hard—opening up her heart for the sake of a defenseless baby, and then closing it up again for her own sake. It was like tearing open a wound every time she did it.
Ember couldn’t be a mother to these children, no matter how sweet or deserving they might be. It would tear her heart out to do it. She’d shut the door on motherhood for good reason. She’d deemed her education and career important enough to hand her son to another woman. If it had been important enough once, it would have to be enough now.
Ember pulled the stool closer, sat down to give herself some proper balance and bent over the cradle to pick up the infant. Will snuggled against her chest, squirming to try to get closer. She sighed, leaning her cheek against the baby’s downy head.
This ranch was a place of strangely deep emotion, and she couldn’t help but wonder if that was because of some familial tie to the place calling her home.
Or was she only fooling herself? Because this ranch had ties to other families, too, and her emotions were tugging her toward one man right now—a man who needed a mother for his twins. She couldn’t be that mother. She could be tough, strong, empathetic and staunchly determined to shepherd other people through their darkest times. She could be like the other women from the Harper family, standing tall and persevering. God had something He wanted her to do, and she’d felt His hand in bringing her to Vern Acres. He would pay her back for everything she’d given up. She just had to hold on.
Casey tightened the saddle strap and led Soldier out of the barn. The only way to check out the situation in the south pasture was on horseback. He was going through the motions, but his mind wasn’t on the job ahead of him. It was still back at the house with Ember—and that kiss.
It was dumb. He shouldn’t have caved in to his desires like that. She was no country woman, and she had no desire to buy some land and raise cattle with him. He wanted to show those boys what hard work looked like, and how the day in, day out chores contributed to an industry that fed a nation. He wanted to raise those boys to say Yes, sir and No, ma’am. He wanted them to ride herd, earn the respect of the other men and stand by their word. He’d raise those kids right—just like he’d been raised, and like his dad before him.
Boys grew into men over time, regardless of where they did the growing, but life on a ranch did the best job of instilling time-honored values, in Casey’s humble
