The pastor had said he’d been angry. Bitter. Sawyer sighed. With the return of his memory, would he also get that baggage back, too? That had been preoccupying his thoughts.
“The pastor came by yesterday,” Sawyer said, and Lloyd grabbed a towel to dry his hands and turned.
“Yeah?” He saw the trepidation in his uncle’s eyes.
“It’s okay,” Sawyer said. “It was kind of him to drop in.”
“Good...” Lloyd nodded quickly. “Real good. So, did he help at all?”
“A bit,” he replied. “He actually filled me in on something. He said I was pretty angry with the church and all that.”
“Oh, yes...”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sawyer shook his head. “You said I was just a workaholic.”
“If you didn’t remember it, why drag it up?” Lloyd said. “Maybe you’d be able to just move on.”
Sawyer sighed. “How much more are you hiding from me?”
Lloyd grabbed some bowls from the cupboard and put them on the table. His movements were casual and relaxed, but his jaw had gotten tight. Then he looked up at Sawyer. “Every story has a hundred different sides.”
“My story, you mean?” Sawyer pressed.
“Everyone’s story,” Lloyd replied. “It all depends on how you tell it. A man’s personal history is written by whoever feels like talking about him. I’d rather you write your own.”
“I can’t remember it,” Sawyer retorted. “How can I?”
Lloyd nodded slowly. “Sawyer, I’ve done things I wish I could forget. I’ve held onto stupid ideas that I wish I hadn’t. There was about a decade when I was furious with women. I blamed them for not seeing what I had to offer, and I was a real jerk. I was single, bitter and lonely, and I figured women were to blame for that. It embarrasses me now. And I only tell you about it because you’ll remember it eventually anyway. But people do change. They do grow. And if I could have my outlook right now and forget a few of those embarrassing details from the past, I’d do it. So who am I to drag up your past mistakes?”
Lloyd met Sawyer’s gaze earnestly, then he pulled out his chair with a scrape and sat down. He reached for the pot of oatmeal and dished himself up a hearty portion.
“But would you be who you are today without having learned a few things the hard way?” Sawyer asked. “If you can’t remember how you’ve grown...a man might go backward.”
“You haven’t,” Lloyd replied. “And I told you what you needed to know—that you used to work too hard. That’s what you did with all your frustration and hard feelings. The rest... Son, when we ask for forgiveness, God throws our sins into the darkest part of the sea. No need to go fishing for them.”
His uncle meant well, but Sawyer needed more than blissful oblivion. He needed to know who he was—as a full person. That was going to include some uncomfortable stuff, but how could he move forward without it?
“Speaking of making a few changes in my own life,” Lloyd said, dropping his gaze. “I have a guest coming this morning. She’s...she’s interested in the calving, and I figured I’d show her a few things firsthand.”
“She?” Sawyer raised an eyebrow and shot his uncle a grin.
“You saw her at the church—Evelyn. I was talking to her by the truck before we left.”
The beautiful brunette. She was interested in calving? Sawyer squinted. “Really?”
“What?” Lloyd chewed the side of his cheek. “She’s from the city, and she’s never seen the process before. We’ve done some talking since church.”
“Like...on the phone?” Sawyer asked.
“Yes.” Lloyd pressed his lips together. “She’s a nice woman. I like her. And she’s coming by this morning.”
“Wow.” Sawyer nodded. “Yesterday you would hardly let me touch anything. I slung some bales. But you’ll take a complete newbie out there?”
“She’s a complete newbie who will stay in the truck if I tell her to,” Lloyd snapped. “You don’t take orders quite so well.”
A teasing smile tugging at his lips. “But I feel the slight, I gotta say.”
He was mostly joking, because he did understand exactly why his uncle was willing to bring this woman with him out into the fields—she was stunning. And Lloyd, as he’d explained before, was ready for a woman in his life. That was something Sawyer could sympathize with.
Olivia appeared in the doorway, a toddler on each hip, and she smiled tiredly at them.
“Good morning,” she said. “The girls are up.”
There was something rather endearing about seeing her like that—in jeans and a white blouse, no makeup and her hair still looking a bit mussed. Lloyd was ready for some female companionship, and Sawyer had to admit that he felt the lack of it, too, when faced with Olivia like this.
Sawyer pushed his chair back out and stood up.
“Thanks for getting them ready,” he said. “I didn’t hear them. You hungry?”
“Hmm,” she replied and stifled a yawn as he took Lizzie out of her arms. He planted a kiss on top of the toddler’s curly head, then put her into one of the high chairs. Olivia put Bella into the other one, and he reached over to tweak Bella’s plump cheek.
The next couple of minutes were spent getting oatmeal into the toddler’s bowls—although most of it would end up on themselves and the floor. And once they were all seated again, he shot Olivia a smile.
“I have to talk to you about something,” Olivia said as Sawyer passed her a bowl filled with oatmeal.
“Yeah?” Her expression was serious, and he sobered. “What’s going on?”
“I haven’t wanted to bring this up until you could remember more,” she said. “But I don’t think it’s right to wait any longer.”
She looked hesitantly toward Lloyd.
“Do you need me to—” Lloyd started to stand.
“No, actually, you might be able to help me
