“Are you sure you’re okay with Olivia just leaving?” Lloyd asked again as he refilled a bucket of oats for the cow.
“Look,” Sawyer said with a sigh. “I might not remember everything, but I know who I need to be, and that’s a dad first.”
Lloyd chewed the side of his cheek for a moment, then said, “I’m going to say something.”
“All right,” Sawyer said with a small smile.
“You work too hard.”
Sawyer sighed. “Yeah, I know. Mia said it all the time—I’m a workaholic. But I’ll do better. The girls will have my attention. I’ll be the dad they need.”
“No, I mean you work too hard, period,” Lloyd said. “You lost your memory, but you have this gut instinct to work. It’s a good thing—most times. I couldn’t run this place without you for very long. But you’ve been working at your recovery, working to get your memories back, working to figure out where you went wrong, and vowing that you’ll work to fix it.”
“What else am I supposed to do?” Sawyer demanded. “I’m doing everything in my power!”
“Yeah,” Lloyd nodded. “But what would happen if you stopped working so hard at everything? What would happen if you just followed your heart for once?”
What if he threw it all to the wind and stopped trying? It was tempting—he had to admit that.
“It would lead me straight to Olivia!” Sawyer said. “And that’s not what either of us need right now.”
“When you went to work those fields, Sawyer, it was your heart that guided you back home every night to your family. That part wasn’t work for you. You can trust your heart to steer you straight, you know. If you have to work against your very heart, son, I think it’s a losing battle.”
“I need to be a good dad,” he said. “I need to keep my priorities straight.”
“But being a good dad is about more than hard work,” Lloyd said. “If it were about putting your back into it, then providing financially would be enough. But it isn’t. Kids need a relationship with you. They need time with you. They need...your heart.”
“And that’s what I’m trying to give them!” he said, his voice trembling. “I’m giving up the woman I love so that they can have my whole heart. I’m doing my best here!”
Why couldn’t Lloyd see that? His heart was in the right place—he wanted to make sure he did this properly. He was willing to sacrifice his own loving relationship to get that for his kids.
“What else is holding you back?” Lloyd asked.
“I hardly know who I am, and I’m not at full capacity here,” Sawyer said. “I’m still getting back my memories, and I don’t even know if I’ll get everything back again. So I have to prioritize things. And my daughters have to come first.”
“I agree,” Lloyd said with a nod. “But does that mean you can’t have love, too?”
“For now, yes,” Sawyer replied. “But it’s not just me. She can’t come back here. She had a really rough time in Beaut, and she can’t just step back into life here. It’s both of us, Lloyd.”
The older man nodded slowly, then shrugged. “Okay. Maybe it won’t work with Olivia, but in the future maybe you could quit working so hard—at everything. Just...go with your gut.” Lloyd picked up a few of his tools, and he headed for the door. “You coming?”
“In a few minutes,” Sawyer replied. “I’ll walk up. Go on without me.”
“All right, then.”
The barn door closed, and Sawyer sucked in a deep breath. His throat felt thick with emotion as he stood there, watching the cow lick one of her calves.
Sawyer had messed up in his family life, and he was trying to make up for past mistakes. But maybe it was time to let those mistakes go to the bottom of the sea, and follow his heart again. Maybe Lloyd was right and he needed to let go a little bit, if his relationships were going to turn out differently.
If Olivia could find a way to make a life here, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from committing himself to her for the rest of his life. If she’d have him, he’d do more than love her...he’d marry her.
The realization hit him in the chest like a bag of rocks. He’d marry her! If he followed his heart like Lloyd suggested, it would lead him right down the aisle without a second thought.
He might not be able to trust his memory fully, but even when he didn’t know who he was, his heart had steered him true. Olivia might have meant something to him in the past, but now that he’d discovered her again, she meant everything. Olivia could be his second chance at love, and his girls’ second chance at a mom.
If she could find it in her own heart to come home to Beaut.
But that might be too much to ask.
Chapter Fourteen
Olivia had meant to drive from the graveyard back to town directly, but when she approached the turn that led to the West Ranch, she found herself signaling. A truck behind her moved into the other lane to pass, and Olivia felt a tremor in her chest as the huge vehicle rumbled by.
She wasn’t sure what she wanted to even say to Sawyer—but she longed to see him. Just once more. Maybe her choice would feel clearer if she could talk it through with him, because her heart was tugging her in a direction she’d never imagined she’d want to go.
She took the turn and as she drove the last mile, her stomach fluttered. If she stayed...what then? What would her life look like? Would Sawyer even want her here?
He’d been clear about where he stood and what he wanted. He was a dad first and foremost, and she understood that. But the idea of walking away from him was so much harder than she’d thought.
She pulled into the drive, and followed it around to the
