“Yeah?” His expression softened. “Here?”
“It wasn’t like that...” she said. It wasn’t in memory of him or anything... Or maybe it had been a little bit. It was a reminder that she’d had a life before she married Adam and became stepmom to his kids, and given up everything that made her feel like herself. And her romance with Logan had been a part of that life. But she wouldn’t be admitting that to him now.
“Do you miss the kids?” he asked.
Melanie felt tears mist her eyes. “Am I crazy if I say yes? For better or for worse, those kids were the center of my world for fifteen years. But I’ve got one of them in the lake house as we speak, and where am I? Hiding from her.”
“Isn’t that parenting, though?” Logan asked. “You get so frustrated you could strangle them during the day, and then you watch them sleep at night, and you’re so flooded with love for the little monster...”
“I guess so.” She met Logan’s gaze and shrugged. “But I wasn’t their real mom.”
Logan nodded and dropped his gaze. “I had a stepmom. I know the complicated feelings there...”
What did that mean—was she as bad as Dot had been?
“But Dot couldn’t stand you,” she said.
“I felt that way as a kid. There was a lot of tension. I blamed her.”
Just like Tilly blamed Melanie. She tried to push back the stab of recrimination. Kids shouldn’t be held responsible for their parents’ complicated relationships.
“Do you still resent her?” Melanie asked.
“She’s dead now.”
“Oh...”
“But yeah, I guess so. She was the adult. I was just a kid.”
Had Melanie wasted the last fifteen years, trying to be a mom to those three kids when she’d always be the evil stepmother?
“So maybe if I peek in at Tilly when she sleeps tonight, I’ll like her more,” Melanie said with a small smile, hoping to deflect with a bit of humor. Logan chuckled.
“What about the other kids—how old are they?” he asked.
“Michael is twenty-two this year, and he’s starting his master’s degree in clinical biology in the fall at Harvard, like I mentioned, and Viv is twenty-five. She’s a medical intern in Denver. She works day and night.”
“Successful,” Logan said, but she saw something in his eyes—she felt it, too. This was a step above how she’d been raised. If Adam hadn’t paid off her student loans, she’d still be paying them off.
“Adam’s kids had the money behind them to make it happen,” Melanie replied. “Not every kid gets the support that his kids got.”
“Yeah.” Logan let out a breath. “But you had a part in their success.”
“I like to think so,” she replied. But how much? Right now, with Michael and Viv focused on their own lives and Tilly’s determination to make her feel about two inches tall, she felt more like a glorified nanny.
“Tell me about your son,” she said, changing the subject.
“Graham,” Logan said, and she noticed how he relaxed just by saying his son’s name. “He’s a good kid. He finished his second year of college in art history, but he wants to be a chef. I talked him out of it. I feel bad about it now, but I wanted him to be more practical—he’s not a kid with that kind of money behind him, you know?”
“No, I get it,” she said.
“But food is his passion. He’s in England right now, exploring their cuisine.”
“Are the British known for their food?” Melanie asked.
“Say that to Graham and he’ll give you a lengthy lecture on their beers, cheeses and comfort foods,” Logan said with a chuckle. “But he’s a good kid. He was in the tenth grade when his mom died of cancer, and—” Logan shrugged sadly “—he rallied better than I thought he would.”
“That must have been hard for both of you,” she said quietly.
“Yeah. I wasn’t sure how I’d go on alone, but you just do. One day at a time, until your kid graduates high school and you realize he’s just fine. He’s more than fine, he’s great.”
“You’re a proud dad,” she said.
“Definitely.” He took another bite and swallowed before he continued. “I’m picking him up from the airport Sunday, and I’m going to have to pretend I didn’t miss him as much as I did.”
“Why?” she asked. “It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship.”
Logan smiled. “Maybe it lets us both pretend we’re tougher than we are. We’re guys. We don’t feel stuff.”
Logan still had that shell, and it seemed he’d passed it on to his son. But seeing him as the doting dad, missing his grown son and worrying about him all the same...it was strange how much could change in twenty-odd years. She remembered him as the rebel with the motorcycle and the bad attitude. He’d been her first heartbreak, and getting over him hadn’t been easy. But that was a long time ago, and her heart had gone through a whole lot more since.
“So did you take that degree in engineering?” Melanie asked.
“Sort of,” he replied. “I majored in accounting, and I minored in structural engineering. I now own a construction company. I know enough to manage the company, but I work with experienced engineers.”
Melanie raised her eyebrows. “Smart.”
“That surprise you?” he asked with a small smile.
A little, actually, but it wasn’t polite to say. “It’s just different seeing the adult version of you.”
“So what about you?” he asked. “Did you go in for nursing?”
“Interior decor,” she replied.
He nodded slowly. “Okay... I guess I can see that. It seemed like you stayed home with the kids...did you work part-time, or—”
“I—” She hated being asked this. “I devoted my time to my
