My heart gave one heavy pound. That was it. A tiny flicker. The drug that’d coated my nervous system had not only chloroformed my pain receptors but also my ability to rise to infectious emotions.
I’d always wanted to be completely apathetic.
I’d gotten my wish.
“See, a threat like that might’ve worked...if I hadn’t been watching.”
“Watching what?”
“I’ve seen you eyeing Jealousy lately.”
“What?” He coughed. “What the fuck are you implying?”
“I’m saying I’m not the only one who’s been tending to a goddess after serving in Euphoria.”
“Who the hell told you?”
I shrugged. “Just observant. You’ve never provided aftercare for a goddess before.”
“Neither had you.”
“Until I fell in love.”
“You’re a sneaky son of a bitch.”
“I’m sorry, Cal. I’m sorry Jess is—”
“She’ll be fine. And if she isn’t, my threat still stands. If she dies and you die...then Eleanor and I can just be miserable together.”
Cricking my neck, I ceased unnecessary chatter.
If I died, I wanted Drake’s cold heart in my fist beforehand.
And for Cal’s sake, I hoped Jess would pull through. What he did on his downtime was not my business, but he did deserve to be happy. I’d half expected him to come and request for Jealousy to stop serving in Euphoria. If he was falling for her, watching her fuck other men would steadily drive him insane.
But...after today, he wouldn’t have to worry about that.
If she survived, she’d never serve another guest again.
Not because I owed her the greatest debt for what she’d done with Drake but because I’d learned my lessons on exploitation.
“Enough gossip. This isn’t a social call.” I looked around, ignoring my crutch wedged against the emergency exit and the men of all shapes and skills sitting in expensive seats. The private plane was large enough for my army along with an arsenal. “We need to discuss business.”
“What business? I’m stuck in a recovery ward with bloody parrots. I can’t do shit—”
“First, an update on Campbell’s patients. How is Jess doing? Skittles still healing?”
Cal’s tone turned tight and full of strain. “He still isn’t sure if she’ll make it. He has the two vets from Serigala here helping him. And yes, your damn caiques are twittering away in the corner, preening each other.”
I cricked my neck, keeping my fractured, sewn-together leg splayed out in front of me. “Tell him to give Jealousy a dose of Tritec...it’s rather something. It’s...helped.”
“Of course, it’s helped. It’s a powerful blend of narcotics and—”
“What I’m feeling isn’t fake.”
“No, but it will extract the worst kind of toll.”
I shrugged. I didn’t care about that. As long as Drake was dead and Eleanor was safe, fine. I’d had this coming for most of my life. I didn’t deserve a long existence. I wasn’t owed peace and prosperity, love and longevity.
This was my karma, and I’d accepted that.
So long as Eleanor didn’t pay on my behalf, I wouldn’t begrudge the few days I had left to make amends for what I’d done.
“Are the police still there?”
“Yes.” Cal sniffed. “Snooping. Asking questions.”
“Call Arbi to keep the goddesses confined on Lebah. Don’t let them back onto Batari before they’re gone.”
“Already called him and advised to stay hidden.”
“And the guests?”
“I’ll arrange private transfers to Jakarta. You can deal with refunds and threats when you’re back.”
I shook my head. “I’m not coming back, Cal.”
“Like fuck you aren’t, sir.”
“You know my passwords. You’ve helped run Goddess Isles since conception.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, saying goodbye to what I’d built. I wouldn’t be there to make amends and dismantle my mistakes, but Cal could try to fix my wrongs. “If I’m right that you’re developing feelings for Jess, I’m glad. Make sure Campbell keeps her breathing. I know I haven’t shown my appreciation for your help over the years, but I am thankful. You’re a good man, Calvin, and that’s why I trust you to carry out my last request.”
“Tritec is messing with you. Last request? You’re not allowed to have a last request because you’re coming back.”
“Regardless, there are loose ends that need to be finished.”
“What loose ends?”
“When the police have left, release the girls.”
“What?”
“Let them go.”
“All of them?”
“All of them.”
“But—”
“Release them with the usual fee and warning. Shut down the dark web, revoke all future bookings, end it. End all of it.”
“But Euphoria—”
“Burn it to the ground.”
“Fuck no.”
“When you’re able, visit Monyet and stop the production of elixir. They won’t be able to finish the next batch without me anyway, so the danger of it dies with me. Tell Peter Beck to use the rest of his ingredients and put it toward some other cure.”
Cal’s tone grew angry. “You expect me just to delete your life? Just like that.”
“Call it a final decree from a dead man.”
“If you play it smart and keep a defibrillator close—”
“Thanks for your service, Cal. And for your friendship.”
“Sullivan, don’t.” His anger slipped into urgency. “She’ll never forgive you. You die on her, and she’ll—”
“Hate me, yes.” I looked out the window at the snow-dusted rooftops of a city sprawled beneath us.
Geneva.
Switzerland.
The location of my end.
“It’s better she hates me than loves me. Remember? Everything that loves me ends up dying. Everything that I love I end up killing. This way...I’ll break the chain. She’ll be free. I’ll be free. My goddesses will be free. Jess and you will be free.”
The landing gear whirred from the fuselage beneath my feet.
My heart picked up a quicker patter, still cushioned from spikes of stress thanks to Tritec.
Messy emotions would not get in the way of me eradicating Drake.
Fury would not make me sloppy.
Weakness would not make me fail.
Not this time.
This time, I would win.
I was ruthless.
Heartless.
Ready.
I’d said my farewells and given my blessings.
I’m coming, Eleanor.
“Goodbye, Cal. And thank you.”
Chapter Five
I WAS GRATEFUL, EVEN in this nightmare.
Grateful for the sleep I’d gotten on the plane and the handful of grapes I’d stolen as we’d walked through a house full of Regency elegance. Grateful for the renewed vigour
