She dropped her hand from my chin, taking both my hands in hers. She stayed bent over before me, imploring me to trust. Her usual medical scrubs had been replaced with a cream dress more suited for the island humidity and her freckles had grown into a thicker scattering thanks to the sun. However, her clear green eyes were still those of a professional.
A doctor who spoke with truth, even if some truths hurt.
“I need some sign from you that you’re listening. That you’re not checking out on me. Shock can create so many complications, Eleanor, and I need you to listen to me.” She squeezed my hands. “Can you do that?”
I shook my head, grateful that the sickness dispersed this time.
I no longer felt nauseous, only confused and heart sore and bruised in every bone. “I...I don’t understand.”
“Come with me. It will be easier to show you.” Pulling me from the couch where I’d woken, she escorted me through Sully’s living room where a pair of macaws had made themselves at home on a dining chair and past a bushy-tailed squirrel raiding the fruit bowl.
My knees wobbled. I tripped as my body buckled beneath mourning, but she never let me go or stopped dragging me back into the bedroom that’d become a grave.
No, wait.
I didn’t have the strength to go in there.
I would shatter beneath her lies and her truths.
I clenched my jaw as she pulled me over the threshold, and instantly Pika and Skittles chirped from the corner. They sat squished together in a rattan bowl holding smooth sea glass pieces. Bottle green and sapphire blue—refracting memories of Sully’s turbulent eyes.
My heart bled all over again, filling my bruised bones with horrendous pain. “I don’t. I can’t—” I tugged on her hand.
“Come.” With fierce strength, she yanked me to the bed.
A bed holding a sheet-shrouded man who I loved more than everything combined.
I couldn’t stop shivering.
My teeth rattled.
Tears burned as I looked at Sully.
Lying regally beneath the white sheet, he was sublime unblemished perfection. No more sweat or fever. No glistening skin or broken heartbeats. He was serene and as solemn as any artfully prepared cadaver.
My keening began anew.
I couldn’t see this.
I couldn’t remember him like this.
I wanted to recall his sexy smirk and violent passion. I wanted to hear his husky laughter and stony commands. I needed life. I needed him.
But...he’s gone.
His face was slack. His lips slightly parted and mostly blue. His skin had turned to snow, showing tracks of veins twining up his sinew-etched throat. His powerful frame and gorgeously toned muscles were fading; reducing in mass and strength the longer he remained buried beneath a sleeping curse.
He’d left me, discarding his earthly remains, ready to be scattered with roses and goodbyes while displayed on a funeral parlour podium.
My legs buckled.
Louise tried to keep me standing, but I puddled to the floor at the foot of his bed. Tears flushed out my bleeding soul. I was surprised I cried salt instead of crimson.
Skittles squawked and tried to come to me, her splint preventing her from flying. Pika fluttered for her, perching on my lap as my tears dribbled over him. He cooed and nudged my numbed fingers, then flew to my shoulder and nuzzled into the crook of my neck.
I broke.
I buried my face into my hands and sobbed.
Fingers pried at my wrists, pulling my hands away. “If you won’t believe what I’m telling you. Look.” She nudged my chin up, angling my head at the heart rate monitor hooked permanently to Sully’s sculpted chest.
It shimmered in my tears.
Faint squiggly lines. Muted blips and beeps.
“See? His heart is still beating. Your shock is making it hard to believe me, but it’s true.”
Pika left my shoulder and flew to his master. He didn’t unleash his rambunctious terror upon Sully but twittered softly and fluffed up his feathers before nesting on Sully’s chest.
His slightly breathing chest.
I moved.
It was as if I’d been struck by lightning, infected by electricity, and enduring a bolt through my heart.
Crawling like a madwoman, I closed the distance and kneeled by Sully’s side. I snatched his hand and pressed two fingers against his wrist. I closed my eyes and sniffed back my agony-laced hope and waited.
Thud-thud.
Thud-thud.
Thud-thud.
And then, I did the most embarrassing thing of all.
I convulsed with sobs of relief.
Snotty and wet.
Wild and loud.
I wept.
I wailed.
I cried harder for hope than I had for an ending.
I cried until a migraine attacked me, dehydration made me weave, and Louise plucked me from the floor and guided me to my place beside Sully.
The moment I felt the softness of his bed and smelled his sea and coconut scent, I plastered myself alongside his unconscious form.
I shivered.
I sighed.
I slept.
* * * * *
The second time I woke, sunlight had replaced midnight, leaving my world topsy-turvy. Stealing days I hadn’t known and scrambling the calendar of how long Sully had been asleep.
Unlike all the other days of waking after a fitful night, snatched seconds, and repeating nightmares, I felt rested.
Heavy and hurting but rested.
Sitting up, I groaned as my head pounded and my eyes felt twice their usual size. I needed to wash my face from the stickiness of grief. To rinse my mouth out from my sobs.
The thought of a shower made me glance at the bathroom.
The fear of Sully crashing again made me crush closer and rest my hand on the strong pulse in his throat. To run my fingers through his thick hair and bask in utter gratefulness that he was still alive.
Breathing and sleeping and alive.
“Don’t scare me like that again, okay?” I bent and kissed the tip of his nose. “No more, Sully. The next time you want to do anything shocking...just wake up.”
“Ah, you’re awake.” Louise padded into Sully’s bedroom, her hands scooping up her auburn tresses and securing them into a bun at her nape. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” I wiped under my eyes, then placed my hand back on Sully’s arm. Always touching him.
