Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
SHORTLY SHE AND Duke were driving along county roads toward Ben’s house. Bags from Maude’s were tucked behind the seats. The back end was loaded, literally and figuratively.
As they started to reach quiet roads, snow began to fall, thicker than the few flakes that had fluttered down earlier.
“Great,” she said. “Weren’t there enough complications already?”
He glanced her way as he drove. “You’re loaded for bear.”
“Believe it. Fed up would be a good description. I want this case solved. I always do, but this is one that’s eating me alive.”
He didn’t answer.
What could he say? she wondered. He didn’t know what Gage had told her, which was more than enough to light her fuse. He might suspect, but he didn’t know, and she wanted to keep it that way. For now, at least. She couldn’t just drop this on Ben, either.
He spoke. “So is Cat short for something?”
She shook her head and glanced at him. “Nope. Just Cat. I asked my mom about it once, and she couldn’t explain it except that it had caught her fancy.”
“Dad?”
“He never had any input. Gone before I was born. Anyway, once I got past the teasing, I decided I like it.”
“You should. It’s unique. Like you.”
Here she was talking about her name. She kept giving herself mental kicks, trying to calm down. She shouldn’t have let the news put her into hyperdrive. But, like Gage had said, they were human and had hoped they were wrong, but she’d known. They’d known. Maybe they just hadn’t wanted to accept it.
“Listen,” he said after another mile or so, “about earlier...”
“You don’t have to say anything,” she interjected swiftly. An apology right now would kill her. There was still a glow to be had from their sex, and she wanted to hang on to it. Tightly.
“I do have to say something. You weren’t just a distraction. Not an escape. I wanted you. I’ve been wanting you ever since you confronted me in front of the department store.”
She snorted quietly. “So you like women who stand up to you?”
“I sure don’t like doormats. I don’t wilt.”
“I noticed.”
It was his turn to yield a short laugh. “Seriously, Cat, it was wonderful, and I hope we can do it again when all kinds of ugly things aren’t whipping around us. When we can just take our time and savor it.”
She liked the sound of that. She turned a little in her seat. “I’d like that, too.”
“I just wanted you to know I wasn’t using you. Every other time I wanted to have sex with you, I’ve stopped myself because I couldn’t say that with certainty. Now I can.”
She had to admit to herself that it felt better to know that. She’d told herself it didn’t matter, but it seemed it did.
“Still,” she couldn’t prevent herself from saying, “there’s no real future in it.” That was one she had to face squarely.
“Future?” He shook his head. “Lady, you’re talking to a soldier. Long-distance relationships aren’t an obstacle. Just saying.”
She hadn’t thought about that before, either. Hmm.
But as they drew closer to Ben’s house, she felt her stomach trying to knot. There was danger ahead, although she didn’t know of what kind. Emotional explosions? Ben having a breakdown? Like she could blame him if he did.
When they pulled up beside Ben’s house, he came out to greet them. Before he and Duke could do more than shake hands, Cat opened the tailgate, ready to pass out the armament.
“Don’t say I don’t come prepared. I’ve got two riot guns, a rifle and a heavy bag of ammo. Oh, and night-vision goggles and armor. Who’s carrying what?”
Cat saw Ben stiffen. “What the hell?” he asked.
Duke spoke first. “Let’s get this gear inside. Then we’ll talk. C’mon.”
Ben didn’t argue, maybe because he heard an order as an order. Something to be said in favor of military experience, Cat thought sourly as she grabbed the two cases holding the riot guns. Ben took the rifle and the heavy ammo carrier.
“I’ll get the food and armor,” Duke said. With a gesture, he motioned Ben toward the door. “Step lively, soldier.”
That drew a half smile from Ben, who otherwise looked as if he’d been walking through the hallways of hell.
Cat followed Ben inside, hearing the sounds as Duke slammed the tailgate closed, then got the bags of food from the cab. She’d barely had time to lean the riot guns against the wall in a corner before Duke joined them, his hands full, his shoulders burdened by the heavy body armor.
Cold had entered the house through the open door, and it took several minutes before the air heated up again. Nobody shed a jacket while they put Maude’s bags in the kitchen.
Then Duke sat down to unzip carrying cases and examine the guns. “Good selection,” he said to Cat as she sat across from him on a flowery upright chair. Ben took another chair nearby.
Ben cleared his throat. “Guns?”
Duke didn’t exactly answer. “I’d prefer the rifle myself, if you two are okay with the shotguns.”
“I’m okay with anything that can cause trouble to anyone on the other end,” Cat said. “Ben?”
“Shotgun is fine with me, too.” He cleared his throat. “Why?”
Cat indicated Duke with an open hand. Let him explain this maze. She wasn’t at all sure they weren’t overreacting, and this might not be a good time to inject any doubt.
“First things,” Duke said. “Larry will be back in town tomorrow.”
Ben leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. “Oh God,” he whispered.
The pain in this room was palpable. Two men dealing with heart-crushing grief for which there’d never be a cure. Cat felt tears well in her own eyes and blinked them back.
A few minutes passed. Then Ben lifted his head. His face was marked by two tear streaks running from his eyes. “They didn’t let me know. Of course not. I don’t matter. It’s not like we were married.”
Duke spoke,
