“I’m sure you do. But that was a long time ago.”
“Not so long. You wore more in that scandalous painting that the Prince of Wales purchased. No wonder he urged you to remain in London instead of accompany your husband to Mexico.”
“I should have listened to him,” she blurted, then lapsed into silence when Steve cocked his head and frowned. Why were her emotions so tangled lately, so contradictory?
“Ginny—talk to me. You can say what you want. I won’t get angry. Hell, I can’t stand seeing you like this, like a damned ghost drifting through this valley. I thought by bringing you here, you could feel safe.”
“I feel safe.” She sounded defensive even to her own ears, but couldn’t summon up the courage to confide in him. It was too devastating to talk about the elusive emotions that lurked beneath her outward calm. It was much easier to ignore what had happened, to drift along, thinking of nothing but the moment.
“If you do feel safe, you have a hell of a way of showing it.” Steve got up, his long legs eating up the space between them in two steps. He knelt in front of her so that she was forced to look into his eyes, compelled by his soft tone and the unexpected gentleness. “I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you again, green-eyes. Let me protect you. Let me bring you back from that ledge you’ve been on for the past month.”
“Oh, Steve, don’t be so melodramatic.” She brushed hair from her eyes, and leaned away from him to gaze at the silvery spill of water that cascaded like a delicate bridal veil from the high rocks. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“Are you? Is that why your hand shakes and you won’t let me get close to you without backing away? Are you frightened of me?”
Her chin came up defiantly, though she could feel her lips quivering with suppressed emotion.
“Perhaps I am, a little bit.”
“I’m not Luna, Ginny. Or Beal, or Devereaux, or any of the others who have hurt you in the past. Hell, I know I’ve hurt you, too, but don’t you know how I feel about you? You said our mistakes were all in the past…If that’s true, then you’ll have to trust me now.”
“Yes, I know. And I do…. I’m just not ready to leave here yet.”
“I understand your need to be away from everything for a while. But not forever, Ginny. We have to go back soon. It’s been over eight months since we left England and the children.”
“Yes.” She swallowed the sudden choking lump in her throat, and whispered, “Yes, I know. I’ve thought about them every day. Oh, Steve, I know you’re right but I’m so afraid.” She forced a shaky laugh. “I’ve never been so afraid, not even when I was with Devereaux, not even when Tom Beal dragged me with him—Perhaps it’s because now I know what can happen. Back then, I had no idea how brutal men can be.”
Steve was quiet for a long moment. Frogs harrumphed a bass symphony and insects hummed accompaniment. Peace settled in a flimsy veil over the valley again as they sat silently.
Finally Steve said softly, “We have to put the demons behind us. If we don’t, we won’t ever have the peace that you want and deserve. You know that.”
She dragged in a deep breath spiced with the rich scent of humus. Thick foliage dripped from towering trees, a green mantle of peace and protection spread around them. “It’s so lovely here. How did you ever find this place?”
“It belongs to me.” Steve smiled slightly when she looked at him in surprise. “Thank God Hearst never saw this valley, or he wouldn’t have sold it to me. It’s on the ranch I purchased from him. See? You can come back and bring the children with you.”
She said nothing, only stared at him in the deepening gloom as the silence stretched far too long. How could she tell him that she couldn’t leave? That the very though of going back terrified her? He’d think her weak and foolish. She felt weak and foolish.
“It’s all right, Ginny.” He said it softly, his voice only slightly lifted to be heard over the muted thunder of the falls. “We won’t leave until you’re ready. You know you’re safe here for now, just as you know we must leave. I know you’re strong enough to make that decision soon.”
“Nooo…” It was a kind of moan, torn from her as she fumbled for elusive control of her tricky emotions, craving his reassurance but not quite believing it.
Steve rose slowly, his words careful and calm, as repetitive as if he were speaking to a small child. “You’re safe, Ginny. No one is going to hurt you here.”
Feeling foolish, she managed to nod. “Yes. I know. It makes no sense, but there are moments when…when it all comes back to me and I’m so afraid. I feel as if I’ll never forget it all…not just Luna, but all he represents.” A shudder ran through her. “There are times I don’t want you near me, that even when I know it’s not true, I feel as if you’re a danger to me.”
He was watching her closely. Light from the fire cast a glow on his face, leaving one side in shadow, while the faint haze behind him slowly deepened as dusk melded into night.
With the shadow of beard stubble on his lean jaw and the reckless slant of his mouth, his bare chest gleaming in the soft dusk, hard muscle and tawny skin marred by tiny scars, he seemed ruthless and predatory.
Oh God, he looks so dangerous! she thought wildly,
