“All the time. Sometimes only one of the guys would make me… and sometimes it was one after another.” My mouth wouldn’t stay shut, the words flowing from my lips effortlessly. “I told Griller I was a virgin, naively thinking he would spare me, but all my confession did was excite him.”
There was something about Lincoln that, although I didn’t know him, made me want to tell him every sordid detail, my embarrassment falling to the wayside in exchange for someone’s compassion for my situation. It was the first time since I’d followed Pike into his club that I felt seen by another human being.
A tense-filled moment passed before he asked, “How did you come to even be with them?”
Dipping my head and saying a silent prayer for my deceased parents, I started telling him about how I ended up in California to begin with.
“Two years ago, when I was sixteen, my mom went into the hospital to have her gallbladder removed, and she ended up getting an infection and dying three days later.” I thought I’d cried an ocean of tears for my mom, but apparently, there were more, several leaking from the corners of my eyes. I pulled myself together as best I could before continuing. “My dad didn’t deal well with her passing. She was the love of his life for nearly twenty-five years. He lost his faith and eventually his church, where he was a pastor. He started drinking more as the months went on until one night, nine months ago, he was driving home from the bar when he crashed into a tree. The police told me he died on impact. There weren’t any skid marks or any evidence he swerved to avoid something in the road.” Several tears escaped for my dad. “I don’t think he wanted to live without her.”
“I’m so sorry, Maddie.” Lincoln rubbed my back in small circles. “I can’t even imagine how hard that must’ve all been.”
“It was. It is,” I corrected, stalling for time because the next part of my story involved my imprisonment. “I was eighteen, a legal adult, when he died. My dad drank up whatever money was left after my mom was buried. Then when he passed, his life insurance policy was all I had, which was enough to bury him, leaving me with five thousand dollars afterward. I have one aunt, whom I haven’t seen in years because my father didn’t agree with her lifestyle, her being a lesbian, so I didn’t have anything tying me back home. I decided to come here, to California, and start over. Maybe go to college. I’ve always had an interest in photography.” I shrugged, the dreams I once had seeming like they belonged to someone else now. “Once I got off the bus, I walked into a nearby diner, and that’s where I met Pike.”
“The prospect?”
“Yes.” I didn’t know why I was hesitant to tell the rest of my story. I’d already revealed what those men did to me while they’d kept me against my will. “I thought he was handsome and charming. I’d never met anyone like him before.” Lincoln’s nostrils flared at my admission. “I was naïve, trusting him when he told me he wanted to take me to a party. A party that just so happened to be back at his club.” Lincoln closed his eyes and took a breath, but because he didn’t tell me to stop, I kept speaking. “Pike told me he liked me and wanted to spend some time with me.”
“Then he should’ve taken you to a fuckin’ movie.” Lincoln hopped off the bed and started pacing.
I held this need to stick up for the prospect. “He was nice to me when he could be, when no one else was around.” Lincoln scoffed before continuing to wear a hole in the carpet. “He told me they threatened him, that if he ever tried to leave, they’d not only kill him, but also his mom and his sister. So, he was as much a victim as I was.”
“Like hell he was,” he shouted, reining in his temper when he saw me flinch. “He should’ve devised some sort of plan to get you out of there. He should’ve killed every last one of ’em.” Lincoln suddenly stood still; his eyes cast downward when he asked his next question. “Did Pike ever rape you?”
How did I answer that question? While technically the answer was yes, the situation was muddled. Pike had never wanted to hurt me. They made him do it. So maybe the answer was no? I wasn’t sure, and while I racked my brain to come up with the right answer, Lincoln asked his question again, only this time, his tone deepened, restrained anger pricking each word.
“Did Pike ever rape you?”
“Yes,” I finally blurted. “Technically… yes.”
“What does that mean? Technically?”
“He didn’t want to. They made him.”
Lincoln crouched down in front of me, grabbing on to my hands when he spoke again. “Maddie, no one, and I mean no one, would ever make me force myself on someone. I’d rather die first.”
I pulled my hands from his in a harsh tug. “Then you’re a better man.” My response was filled with hurt and anger. Even after everything that happened, I still wanted to protect Pike, even if only his reputation. “He did help me in the end, when he pushed me toward you and away from Griller and the others.”
He stood back up and continued pacing. I remained quiet for a few moments, allowing him to absorb what I’d told him, while also giving me some time to calm the nerves swirling in my belly from recapping the worst months of my life.
“What else did they do to you?”
My chest deflated. I thought this conversation was over, and while I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, I felt like I owed it to him after
