I nodded before glancing at Lincoln, thinking that the moment our eyes met, I’d feel some sense of embarrassment because of the intimate topic, but I didn’t. There was something about him that put me at ease, even while talking about womanly things.
“After everything you’ve been through, I’m happy you didn’t end up pregnant on top of everything else. And you have a clean bill of health. Take the antibiotics and you’ll be as good as new in no time.”
“Thanks again,” I said. My gratitude didn’t seem enough for everything she’d done for me, but it was all I had.
“Of course, sweetheart.” She turned to face her son. “Walk me out.”
They both disappeared, closing the door behind them. Whatever she wanted to talk to him about was to be kept private; otherwise, she would’ve told him in front of me. But I couldn’t wonder about what they were discussing. I wanted to focus only on the good news she’d given me, not that having a bladder infection was positive, but the fact I wasn’t pregnant and hadn’t contracted any diseases from those animals helped to erase some of the anxiety from simply contemplating the likelihoods.
A few minutes after they left, I heard Lincoln shout, “Mom! I know.” They weren’t far down the hallway. “Why does everyone think so badly of me?” He lowered his voice toward the end of his question, but his anger was apparent. I moved across the room, curious as to what was going on out there, but the door swung open before I could put my ear against it. And good thing too because he probably would’ve knocked me over.
Lincoln stood before me, his expression matching the tone I’d heard.
“Unbelievable,” he muttered, entering the room before slamming the door. When he saw he’d startled me, he apologized. “I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m gonna take advantage of you.” He paced, his hand running over the top of his hair before dropping to his side. “I’m not an asshole.” I retook my seat on the edge of the bed, watching him as he moved back and forth. His next words were jumbled together, not making a lick of sense to me, but I didn’t think they were supposed to.
I didn’t interrupt him, but after some time with still no words exchanged between us, my curiosity finally won out.
“What did your mom say that made you so upset?”
At first, he frowned, clearly contemplating on whether to answer my question. Then when his expression relaxed, followed by his posture, he leaned against the dresser and shoved his hands in his pockets.
“She told me that if we do anything, I should cover up.”
Tilting my head slightly to the side, I asked, “What does that mean?”
He licked his lips, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly when he caught me staring. “It means that if we have sex, she wants me to wear a condom, which I would do regardless… if ever that happened… if you wanted to.”
“Um… I… uh… I’m not sure—”
Lincoln was next to me before my brain could finish stringing my words together to form any sort of coherent sentence. “Maddie, I’m not saying we’re gonna have sex.”
“Oh. You don’t want to do that with me?” I couldn’t believe I was disappointed. I shouldn’t ever want to think about having sex with anyone ever again. Not that what had happened between me and those bastards was sex, because it wasn’t. But still, the intimate act, the vulnerability, the opening of myself to another, both physically and emotionally… it should be the farthest from my mind.
But Lincoln wasn’t just anyone.
My heart told me he was someone special.
Maybe even the one.
Oh, who was I kidding? I couldn’t trust myself to think or feel anything right now, even as my brain and heart battled. And at this point, I wasn’t sure which one would come out on top.
“No. I mean, that’s not what I’m saying.” His chest expanded, the fabric of his shirt stretching over his defined muscles. “Of course, I want to. But after what you’ve been through, I would never expect you to want to be with me… in that way.” Although the topic was touchy, I appreciated that he at least sounded nervous discussing it. I found it endearing. He cared about me, about how I felt, which only made me want to be that much closer to him in any way possible.
Damn conflicting emotions.
Thinking it would be safer to change the subject, I lost myself in the way he looked at me for a moment. The rich coloring of his irises drew me in so deeply I didn’t want to look anywhere else. An emotion glimmered behind his entrancing gaze, but I couldn’t readily decipher what it was. Adoration? Lust? Pity?
“Am I gonna have to leave soon?”
“Leave where? Here?” Before he allowed me to respond, he asked another question. “Do you want to leave?” The bed dipped when he sat next to me, allowing me to stop straining the muscles in my neck from having to look up at him.
“No.” When he placed his hand on top of mine, I stiffened. “Sorry,” I whispered, having no idea why I reacted like that. He moved to pull his hand away, but I caught his fingers with mine and entwined them. “I don’t want to go anywhere.” A ghost of a smile pulled at the edges of his mouth before quickly falling when I added, “I’m scared.”
He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into him, his scent calming my erupting nerves. “Don’t be scared. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Part of me was desperate to believe him, but I’d witnessed firsthand how evil the Reapers were, and I would continue to fear them coming after me, even though I had a feeling Lincoln and his friends would do all they could to keep me safe. But in the end,
