He said was. He was speaking about her in the past tense. It didn’t sit well in my stomach, and from the gutted expression on his face, I could guess it didn’t sit well with him either.
Max cleared his throat loudly and wiped his brow with the back of his sleeve. “Anyway,” he said, in an attempt to move on. But I didn’t. I just watched him. It was almost sickening to see how distraught with worry he was. I could see it all over him, like he was drowning in it. The way his body was lifeless and hunched forward, the way his eyes seemed to slide to the sides of his face. He looked horrible.
I reached out to put my hand on his arm but stopped myself. It seemed a bit strange for us. I was never all that touchy-feely, especially with Max. I knew he only put up with me because of Cora. “Do yourself a favor,” I said, and he looked right at me. “When this is over, and we find Cora alive, pop the fucking question.”
Chapter Sixteen
DANA
I couldn’t shake the nausea, the cold sweats, the quaking hands. My body was jolted into a state of shock and I wasn’t recovering. Shifting was something I had grown used to, but having it done against my will amounted to an indescribable pain.
Nightmarish new versions of Molly, Veronica, and Tiffany had replaced the old, and every time I closed my eyes, I saw them. There was no life or warmth in their eyes. They may as well have been strangers that found me in the woods. I would have felt just as safe in the presence of serial killers.
The worst part was being alone in it. I was the only one that saw them, that felt their power, that smelled all the blood. I think Max and the group all believed me, but it wasn’t truly clicking with them. They’d find out for themselves soon enough, I was sure of it. Then, and only then, would they understand.
Priscilla and Max had been outside together for ten minutes or so, leaving Rickey and me alone to talk. “You scared the hell out of me,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “Are you all right?”
“I’ll be okay.” It was a lie. I was in pain, so much pain, and I was horribly on edge. I could have died, or worse, I could have killed someone. I licked my bottom lip and said, “I’m sorry for trying to hurt you and Priscilla.”
“It’s me that should be apologizing. I actually did hurt you.”
“You were only doing what was right. You had to defend yourself. I’m glad you did, because…if I was actually successful in going after you guys, then—”
He cut me off. “We got each other’s back. It’s all right.”
Many, many nights Rickey sat with me and listened to my sob stories of self-hate and regret over all the things I’d done, so I knew he was interrupting me before I went down that road again.
Max and Priscilla walked through the main entrance and to our booth, both sliding in on the opposite side of Rickey and me. They weren’t being chatty or energetic, and I got the impression that whatever they were talking about was pretty heavy.
I had the urge to apologize to Priscilla the way I had Rickey, but I couldn’t find it in me to open my mouth and do it. She was too sassy and distant, and I don’t think my heart could handle her shutting me down or making it into a joke.
Before I could say anything, Rickey spoke. “What’s our next plan of attack? We still searching or what?”
“We are,” Max said. “But if you two want to bail, I won’t stop you.”
“Why would we do that?”
“Dana isn’t exactly in the best condition right now.”
I felt like the weak link again. Brinly was right to be worried, and I hated it. “I’m not going home,” I protested. “Not until we find Cora.”
“All right,” Max replied, and dropped it immediately. I was thankful his personality was like that. “We may have to move on foot again. If we’re being followed, us driving up and down the streets in my car with a giant hole in the passenger window is like waving around a big fucking sign.”
“So we leave the car here,” Rickey said.
“It’d be better to ditch it someplace secluded. Throw them off our trail. Maybe on the rim of the city, make them wonder if we left or are still here.”
I suddenly had an idea. “I know where we can drop the car off,” I said. “My apartment building is ten minutes outside of the city. Barely anyone lives around there, so no one will notice.”
“You still rent from there?” Rickey asked.
“It’s a security blanket. In case I was ever thrown out from the compound.”
“Why would you be thrown out?”
I lowered my voice. “Can we talk about this some other time?”
“Yes, please,” Priscilla echoed. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”
We got back to the car, and I winced when I saw the hole in the window. There was so much glass on the car floor and seats, and it was all because of me. The weak link. I felt like putting my head down and crying. But I didn’t. I ignored the ache in my heart and got inside. I even volunteered to sit in the front passenger seat so all the cold air would hit me and not them. I was on fire, anyway, so it wasn’t too bad.
I could tell from the constant glances in the rear view mirror and fidgeting in his seat that Max was uncomfortable with leaving Lunar City, even if my
